Not authorized to use the Jet Pool lane

When the auto industry executives went to Washington to beg on their dusty little knees, they all took their private jets. They couldn't even get together to take the same private jet!

I guess there really isn't much more to say. Even P Diddy realizes its time to let the private jet go when times are tough...

Yet I carpool to work every day...

THIS is whyipaytaxes. (Cause you KNOW we're going to bail them out eventually)

Subsidizing Tanzania Micro Financiers

A big congrats to Citi on the new $20 BILLION (on top of last months $25 BILLION) to cover your asses! Take your cues from AIG and go on a big retreat to do some team building on the beach, quick!

Oh, wait, you've done nothing wrong, Citi. You're not covering your asses, it's all this darn economy's fault. After all, its the stupid economy that made you invest more money than you had into, lets see, what do they call it, oh yeah, SUB prime markets.

Maybe if your managers knew what SUB PRIME meant... (Or even the vague concept of what that might mean, like less than prime ...)

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

P.S. They had enough last thursday (4 days ago) to give out $30 MILLION grants to Tanzania...

Gee, 20 Nations get together

The leaders of the nations with the worlds largest 20 economies got together over the weekend and had an all around great time putting on a dog and pony show. I mean, it must've been a lavish affair. If the room they met in was as extravagant as this, we must have paid a fortune on their hotel rooms...

Fabulous people in fabulous surroundings, I'll bet there were some pretty fabulous decisions made, decrees declared, and policies instituted, no? Sure they didn't just do this at the UN because no one really needs the poor people to get involved anyway. They're poor, they probably don't even know what economy means...

Here's a summary list of what they 'accomplished' (Leaders welcome G20 action plan(bbc)):
1.) We're gonna reform the IMF and World Bank.
(Bold move. Making changes to a 70 year old bank.)

2.) They've agreed to agree to a world wide free trade agreement by the end of next month.
(Someone should have told these clowns that we've been trying and giving up on trying at the Doha Round since 2001 and just because we squeezed their happy asses into chairs in a square doesn't mean we're magically gonna reach an agreement because they said so.)

3.) We need to improve financial market transparency and force the banks (and other firms) to provide complete and accurate disclosure.
(Nonsense. We can trust them... Though, I guess if 20 clowns sitting in a square say so, maybe we should think about it...)

4.) We're going to come up with incentives for banks that prevent risk taking.
(Do they think they can just make risk go away if they wish it hard enough? Sorry, but the very fabric of our economy is risk. There are no certainties, every business, every decision is a risk. But if you say no more, then...)

5.) Everyone make a list of the institutions in your country that would endanger the world economy if it collapsed.
(Homework? Psshhht, these conferences are so hard! I for one think that if my checking account at Chase collapsed, it would be a catastrophic event. How do I get it on the list of economies waiting for a handout?)

6.) Everyone go home and strengthen your financial regulatory regimes.
(Yes. One thing they've decided to do is: Try Harder.)

7.) I can't even summarize this one. taking a "fresh look" at rules that govern market manipulation and fraud.
(A group of grown men have gotten together to solve a financial crisis and have agreed to taking the bold step of taking a fresh look at the rules. Case closed.)

In a nutshell: We are going to address the worst financial crisis on a scale that most everyone alive today has never seen or even imagined, a critical, highly volatile mess that is destroying the quality of lives each and every day. We are going to address it with mountains of red tape and paper tiger promises. Lets not forget the thousands, perhaps millions of bureaucratic man hours.

I think W. summed it up best in one last sort of middle finger at the world when he made a speech in 'support' of the meeting but basically said this:

You can get 20 assholes into a room if you want, but you ain't gonna get them to agree to anything!

(Actual quote: "Once you make the decision to have the G20, then the fundamental question is, with that many nations from six different continents, who all represent different stages of economic development; would it be possible to reach agreements?"(Leaders welcome G20 action plan(bbc)))

A couple more things:
Why Obama bailed: He's taking every step he can to claim no ownership of the US economy until he is in complete control of it (as much as a President is in control...). By avoiding this circus act this weekend, he is still clear of empty promises and pointless showboating.

It IS a good thing: Don't let me get to cynical. It was a historic meeting and really IS the only way to get shit done worldwide.

G20 postpones tough decisions and fails to calm markets (tab)

Dog and pony shows on a grand scale...

THIS is whyipaytaxes

Gary Varvel

Dana Summers

Did I tell you the one about the judge that walked into a brothel?

Ok... This one is a bit of a stretch, but... ...
I'd like to take a moment to complain about the fact that I pay Justice Antonin "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!" Scalia a salary. (Anthony? Antonio?) Now there are a great many reasons I might complain of this and this one is far from the worst of them. Hell, this is one of the few times I agree with him...

Scalia, during a hearing considering whether or not 'fleeting expletives' are OK on radio and TV, has made a wise and definitive decision that will forever be hailed as fair and objective for generations to come when he says:
"Bawdy jokes are OK if they're really good."
No can of worms there, just some good solid Justicing.

I won't even go into the cash we dumped on a hearing full of judges and lawyers from the FCC and the Justice Department getting together to argue with each other about whether or not the American people can handle hearing an occasional 7 Deadly: shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker and tits. (Thanks for embedding those into my head George, R.I.P.) They were also sure to take a few minutes discussing Janet Jackson's nipple. I'll bet a couple of Beavis and Butthead style giggles could be heard immediately following the word nipple.

Unrelated other than by this segue: Another salary I'm proud to have paid is that of Mark "Turn the Page" Foley has announced that he is "Trying to find [his] way back." Thank god... We have a whole new batch of pages that haven't been sexually harrassed by Congress yet.

Paying the salaries of morons...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Oh My...

Wow. This is bad. OFP spotted an article in Bloomberg.

Fed Defies Transparency Aim in Refusal to Disclose

I the last SEVEN WEEKS,
The Federal Reserve has loaned out $1.172 TRILLION!!!
Let me spell that out for you: $1,172,000,000,000
In a month and a half.

So, thats the good news. The bad news is they AREN'T EVEN WILLING TO TELL US WHO THEY'RE GIVING ALL THIS CASH TO!!!

Fuck your piddly $750 BILLION bailout you got your panties in a bunch over. We're just going to sneak this $1,172 BILLION out the back fucking door.

Pardon my French, but sometimes I just get pissed.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree...

Ahhh, yes. It comes to that time of year when Federal, State, AND Local governments start spending hundreds AND thousands of dollars to celebrate a Christian holiday.
Huh, silly ol' me thought there was some sort of a separation of Church and State. I'm so dumb sometimes. Besides, Christianity needs all the substantiation it can get to give it that main stream feel. Otherwise we might wonder why they demand 10% of our wealth to be donated (or is that just Catholics that have it down in writing?). We wouldn't want people to start thinking its all just a big scam...

The reason I bring this up is the city and county of Milwaukee weren't content with cutting down a gigantic tree somewhere in the woods of Wisconsin then trucking it down to the big city. To spice it up, they got themselves a defective tree (Could it have been the drive south? (en: Yes, it broke while being loaded into the truck)) that lost its top. Rather than taking all this as a sign from god, they have city AND county crews on the scene repairing it. I'll bet these guys are making hazard pay for being toted around in emergency repair vehicle buckets over 40' off the ground.

City Christmas tree loses its top(MJS)

Money WELL spent. Just think of the cheer it will bring!

THIS is whymilwaukeeanspaytaxes.

All The Government At Twice The Price

As if I don't already pay American Express enough every month.

American Express Falls Even as Firm Converts to Bank (Bloomberg)

So, they've chosen to bail out credit card companies now. As long as they call themselves banks.

I've also noticed this:
They've stopped talking about how devastating it would be to the economy if this or that company were to fail. No need to explain it to the little people. Hell we're lucky they were nice enough to tell the media!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Its Time For Another Luxurious Retreat!

Or at least I'm pretty sure that is what AIG does when it gets a shit-ton of my taxpayer dollars to line their pockets.

Yes folks. AIG gets ANOTHER infusion of tax dollars. They've given these guys so much cash that they decided to restructure the whole deal and have given them a total of $152.5 BILLION.

Key word: given. These bastards sure are lucky the government decided that this particular group shall not fail.

US expands record bailout of insurance giant AIG (afp)

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Bail out me, Not AIG

I like this idea. Instead of bailing out AIG, give the money to every tax paying citizen over 18 years old. By his calculations that'd equal "every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket" (after taxes)
He points out that this would likely straight up solve the mortgage/foreclosure crisis as a large percentage of Americans could probably pay theirs off...

Of course, I'd probably still bitch about the waste of taxpayer money... (But I'd do it from a much nicer computer!)

Could we waste a little more money, please?

This one is about a month old. Oldie, but goodie.
New Billions in Earmarks Approach Enactment (NYT)
What's In It for Me? (Slate) (A look at what it takes to get a particular Congressperson to vote yes on a bailout bill & where I found the NYT article)

How about we throw down $2 MILLION on studying hibernating animals?
How about we throw down a total of $630 BILLION dollars to fund 2,300 of our Congress' pet projects?
What the hell, Why not? Its not like we're in a state of financial meltdown or anything.

The winner of the most pork going their way: My favorite Senator, Senator Ted "Who's gonna buy daddy a new basement?" Steven's of Alaska! With 39 items totaling $238.5 MILLION, good ol' Ted has ensured that all Americans pay for pet projects that only Alaskan residents can enjoy. (Thanks to: Taxpayer's for Common Sense)I hope he reaps the rewards of his pork from behind bars. No wonder the Alaskans voted for him again...

Thanks Congress.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Vote Yes to Being Swindled

Can you beleive it? Senator Ted "I thought I paid for that" Stevens from Alaska is likely to be re-elected just weeks after being convicted for hiding the bribes he accepted.
It is now a KNOWN FACT that this guy takes taxpayer money and gives it to oil companies in exchange for a new basement, massage chair, et al. Make no mistake, they even have a tapped phone call tape where he admitted to an associate that the worst thing that could happen for his follies is a little jail time.

Well, it looks like I'm going to be paying his salary while he sits in jail. Thanks Alaska. Thanks for letting the Senators know that they can do whatever they fucking please.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Palin Investigates Palin

Don't worry everyone! Sarah Palin has gotten wind of an ethics scandal involving the governor of Alaska and she has called for an investigation!

Ok, let me settle down here and call out the facts the way I see 'em.
1.) Palin cans Monegan

2.) Monegan claims that this is because he wouldn't fire a state trooper that had done nothing wrong

3.) The Alaska State Legislature(ASL) begins an investigation on behalf of Monegan

4.) Palin finds out that she is being investigated and calls for her own investigation

5.) While the ASL investigates, Palin HAND PICKS an investigator to look into herself

6.) Palin refuses to talk to the ASL investigator, leaves campaign trail to interview with hers

7.) ASL Investigator says, sure Palin had the power to fire Monegan, but it seems she did it for personal gain which violates ethics statutes

8.) Palin's Investigator says, She's Clean! No wrong doing. This matter is over, end of discussion.

Heard it somewhere on NPR. Here's the first article in a Google Search of Palin Requested Investigation Sources: Palin to Help Investigation She Requested (abc)

Duplicate investigations for tailor made verdicts...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

I Voted...

...Did you?

SOMEone has to cancel my vote out. Hurry!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Other People's Presidents

It takes Evo Morales, the President of Bolivia (you already knew that), to make our government save some money instead of throwing it at high-paid goons.

Bolivia halts US anti-drugs work(bbc)

Maybe we can pull some of those goons back and spend that money on helping our own citizens kick the habit of forking over their hard earned cash to murderous warlords... Though whats the fun in helping out your own citizens when you could harass and even kill another nations citizens instead (in the name of the law, of course)?

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

P[l]aying Political

Wachovia is propped up by my tax dollars via FDIC.

If Wachovia is unable to run itself without my help, then why is it giving loans to the National Republican Congressional Committee while freezing the assets and denying credit to its thousands of other customers?

Because the Republican Re-election Campaigns need my money more than I do. See?

How did Republicans get an $8 million bailout from failing Wachovia? (FS)
Wachovia’s 8 million Loan to the Republican Party: Blackmail Money? (FDL)

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Did you know that AIG paid out over $2.85 TRILLION in dividends months before getting their bailout cash from the government?

THIS is whyipaytaxes.