Geithner & Daschle vs. The Taxman

First Tim 'It Could Happen to Anyone' Geithner forgets to pay his payroll taxes (though he remembered to file with the IMF to reimburse him for the payroll taxes he was supposed to pay) now we find out Daschle must be using the same forgetful accountant...

More Daschle Tax Issues(abc)

Why is it beginning to feel like the reason I pay taxes is so the incoming administration doesn't have too?

I owe taxes this year. Maybe I'll forget to file them! Whats good enough for them is good enough for me...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Why I pay taxes

'So, you're saying I should go back to where I came from?'

Too bad we're all paying to prosecute him now... But at least I'm not paying his salary anymore!

Sha na nana, Sha na nana, Hey hey hey, Good Riddance.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Squirrel Collider

Glenn McCoy

This looks like a job for Nancy Killefer!

You all remember Nancy Killefer, of course. She's the additional layer of beureaucracy that's going to make our government all efficient and shit. The, uhhh, chief performance officer, if you will.

Well, here's her first gig: Make the TRILLION or so stimulus package work.

Some cuts and some pastes from Slate:
How much of this $356 billion in job-creating money will go out the door between now and Sept. 30? Only $29 billion!
less than half of the appropriations in the stimulus bill will be spent within the next two years.
less than one-tenth of the appropriations will be spent during the current fiscal year, which still has eight months to go.

Basically, everything has got to go to bid. Basically, no one has had the time to schmooze the new government yet, so they haven't decided which company is 'best' for the people...

Now is a GREAT time to know someone working in the government because they're gonna be shitting cash soon. Oh man... Some bastards are going to get right rich, right quick. I just hope their products are better than KBR or Halliburton... I wonder if we're going to buy some new defense contractors? Hmmm...

Mountains of red tape...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Somebody's got a case of the Mondays....

Ho-ly shit. Massive layoffs as gloom deepens(bbc)

GLOBAL JOB CUTS

Caterpillar - 20,000

ING - 7,000

Philips - 6,000

Corus - 3,500

Home Depot - 7,000

Pfizer/Wyeth - 20,000

Texas Instruments - 3,400

Sprint Nextel - 8,000

General Motors - 2,000

Workers around the world face losing their jobs as several big corporations announced more than 70,000 layoffs in one single day.

Not bad for a Monday. Moment of silence, please... ... ...

THANK gawd I canpaytaxes.

Pissed off Pope

Any President that can piss off the pope within his first week is alright in my book.

With the size of the tax break we give that guy's churches, you'd think he wouldn't be so angry.

There's an idea... We can solve a big part of our problem right there: Tax the Pope's churches. Give him something to really bitch about and revel as the revenues come pouring in to buy books for schools, create jobs, and whatnot.

Covering the Pope's tax burden...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Woe are the crisps makers

In spite of his admission that the current system is WORKING:

Home Office minister Alan Campbell said: "Cannabis is a harmful drug and while fewer people are taking it than before, it poses a real risk to the health of those who do use it."
He added: "We are reclassifying cannabis to protect the public and future generations." (ea)

Instead of sticking to the evidence England has decided to spend its time and resources hunting, prosecuting, and imprisoning pot heads. Because after all, we wouldn't want them getting out of hand. Or, you know, getting off the couch...
But when they do venture out, they are taking their freedom into their own hands. Because only pharmaceutical companies are authorized to tell us what drugs we should or should not take.

Cannabis law change 'illogical'(bbc)

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.

Whooo BOY do I know how to spend my tax money

Check out what I did with my tax money in December: Paid out $4 BILLION in bonuses to an executive team that literally drove the company out of business! WHEEE HAAAWWW!!!!

Merrill delivered bonuses before BofA deal(ft)
Merrill paid bonuses early as BofA deal closed- FT(reut)

Long and Short:
Our Government, Hallowed be thy name, had to provide $20 BILLION to help Bank of America acquire Merrill Lynch because we can't let Merrill Lynch fail. (Why you ask? Well, don't ask me! I have no clue why letting a bunch of retards that gambled away mountains of other people's wealth need to be rewarded for their actions. However, rest assured, it apparently isn't up to me... (Please, forgive me any retarded people reading this. I did not mean to compare you to bankers...))

So, why did BoA need an extra $20 BILLION to buy up its competition? (Yes, our government gets to cherry pick the winners and losers of this economic chaos.) Because the 4th quarter losses at Merrill were much larger than anticipated.

So, why were the 4th quarter losses at Merrill much larger than anticipated?
BECAUSE THE CEO, John Thain, DECIDED TO PAY THE ANNUAL BONUSES IN DECEMBER RATHER THAN THE USUAL TIME IN JANUARY!!!!!

So, why did John Thain decide to pay his annual bonuses early? Because it wasn't going to be his company anymore in January. *duh* Besides, he knew the cash was coming from the government...

I don't know about you, but in spite of being one of the few companies that grew in 2008, the CEO of my company decided to forgo bonuses altogether this year. It baffles me to see a CEO giving bonuses to the management team that drove a business into the ground...

*sigh*...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Preacher embezzlement

US priests 'in $800,000 theft'(bbc)

When their not screwing your children, they're stealing your entry fee into heaven...

I wonder if those parishioners whose money they stole are going to go to hell because they never got there tithing to the right people...

What does all this have to do with wasted taxes? Nothing. I just don't like organized religions so large that the preachers can steal almost a million dollars to pay off their hookers. So, I bitch a little... (Did I mention they used some of the stolen money on mistresses? Or that they used the money to gamble? Or that they used the money to buy vacation properties? (at least the last one isn't really a sin. Sort of...))

But, I'll try a tie in anyway: If we didn't allow the business of religion operate tax free, there probably would have been stricter accounting regulations that might have caught these bastards a bit sooner. Strict accounting regulations aside, if this particular church was used as a for-profit business, why the hell is it still tax free?

THIS is [has little to do with] whyipaytaxes.

Thanks Israel! (Worldwide taxes epilogue)

Gaza rebuild 'to cost billions'(bbc)

Yes fellow taxpayers of the world, you are about to donate BILLIONS to the re-election campaign of the powers that be in Israel. They decided to have themselves a fancy little war against a mostly unarmed and fenced in population to prove to their constituents that they are tough on... ... Well, I'm not sure what they think they proved. Hamas is still up and running and able to resume launching rockets at their leisure.

Unless you consider bombing UN schools, murdering hundreds (I've heard thousands) of civilians, then paying to re-build it all a worthy price to pay for destroying a couple of tunnels. Next time, try cement, or a little dynamite. No need to drop bombs from the sky on children.

THIS is whyweallpaytaxes.

Rubbing it in

Not only did Illinois spend a butt load of taxpayer money discussing, fighting for, legislating, and enacting a public smoking ban, but now they are fucking rubbing it in my face that I can no longer go to a bar and feel comfortable and at ease.

Its not enough to have taken away my local bar owner's rights to run their establishments as they see fit, but now their running an ad campaign to talk about how great this giant waste of money and erosion of personal freedoms is!

Illinois promotes smoking ban in ad campaign(ct)

Disgusting. I wish I knew just how much money they've spent on an ad campaign that does NOTHING.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

So far...

Found a good article about how much taxpayer money we've given away so far (that we know of) at bbc:

US BAIL-OUTS

Bank of America: $45bn

Citigroup: $45bn

AIG: $40bn

JP Morgan: $25bn

Wells Fargo: $25bn

General Motors: $10.4bn

Goldman Sachs: $10bn

Morgan Stanley: $10bn

GMAC: $5bn

Chrysler: $4bn

Source: US Treasury

Found a great interactive guide to how much taxpayer money we've given away so far (that we know of):
The Slate Bailout Guide

Now THAT is a security detail

High security for Obama's inauguration(bbc)

4,000 DC cops
4,000 Other cops
5,000 Soldiers and Sailors
Thousands of National Guard
57 different Government Agencies
Helicopter patrols over the air space now
Jets join the 'copters to patrol air space for the events
Coast Guard patrols Potomac and other waters in high speed boats
Roads & Bridges closed
Sniffer dogs patrolling the subway and crowds
Snipers in position throughout DC
Security screens for banned items

Dubbed a "National Security Event"

Maybe they should have done it the Dick Cheney way. That is, in a bunker, with no one around, and later you can provide a one sentence press release that the new president has been sworn in.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Now that the cold snap is over...

...The Europeans will be receiving their natural gas from Russia.

I haven't talked about this one much, though just about every government in Europe, including their 'federal' EU government spent a lot of diplomatic time and resources in trying to get the gas flowing again.

Here's what I didn't realize until I read today's story about how the gas will be flowing Monday or Tuesday: The source of the problem was Ukraine's unwillingness to pay for the gas at EU prices. Even though they demand their separation from Russia and want to become a part of the EU, they still expected a 'We were once Russia' discount!

'Gas to flow' after Moscow deal(bbc)
'Under the deal, Ukraine will start paying for Russian gas at the much-higher European prices from next year.'

Now I don't trust the Russians as much as the next guy, but I didn't realize this whole thing got so bad because the Ukrainians didn't want to pay list price...

THIS is whyeuropeans&russianspaytaxes.

Show Boatin'

At least this time I didn't have to pay for a Mission Accomplished banner...

Obama begins historic rail trip(bbc)
US President-elect Barack Obama is retracing the steps of Abraham Lincoln as he travels from Philadelphia to Washington to assume the presidency.

They're going to take a stop in Delaware to pick up Joe on the way. Very quaint.
Hey, at least they are promoting mass transit, right?

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Get off my back

Glenn McCoy

Israel vs. the UN (Worldwide taxes at work Part 3)

Its a shame, but not my problem that the Israelis are killing off innocent Palestinians by the hundreds. There are a host of other blogs talking about how these innocents deserve it for voting for the wrong leaders and how Israel are a bunch of jackasses for thinking they can stop terrorism by terrorizing people. I'm not going to go there.

What I do want to know is:
What do we have to do to get Israel to stop attacking the U.N.? Last night, they attacked the UNs relief agency in Gaza and it is now on fire.

Gaza pounded amid push for truce(bbc)

Like I said in my first post about this: My taxes have gone to purchase many of Israel's weapons which are now being used to destroy UN facilities which is funded by taxpayers around the world.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

The Beast

Oh my. She is a beauty. I'll bet the miles per gallon are pretty low, it's got a full bar, and one can fit a whole bunch of dead hookers in the trunk. It has its own oxygen supply, the tires will still work when flattened, etc. etc.

All in all, far from the worst thing they've done with my taxes...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Worldwide taxes at work (Part 2)

Not only are the Israelis bombing UN run schools, but they are also taking direct shots at the UN staffers on the ground trying to deliver aid!

I hope it was just some good old fashioned Friendly Fire and that this isn't a sign that the Israelis have just gone completely nuts... Maybe the UN folks they shot at were Arabs?

UN suspends Gaza aid operations(bbc)

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

How do you spend a bailout?

I know how *I'd* spend it: Fast cars and Hot Women! WOOO HOOOO!!!

Report: GM renews sponsorship with Daytona(fox)

On the SAME DAY Bush announced he was going to bailout the auto industry GM renewed its contract with the Daytona 500. We are to believe that the timing is purely coincidental. (Apparently the plan was that even if they went into bankruptcy, they'd still find a way to sponsor NASCAR)

So. There you go non-NASCAR fans. Thanks for keeping the dream alive.
(How ignorant am I if I ponder the ratio of tax paying non-NASCAR fans to non-tax paying NASCAR fans?)

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Like the layers of an onion

How do you fix the inefficiencies of bureaucracy and red tape?
By adding another level of bureaucracy and red tape! Yay!

'Performance' chief on familiar ground(mp)

Yes, Obama's added another cabinet level position already. Like many have done before him, he has decided to create a position that will concentrate on eliminating government waste. Maybe it'll work this time...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

A better batch of clowns

This article is a great look at the new batch of clowns that hope to turn this circus into the Cirque du Soleil.
Profiles: Obama's team so far(bbc)

I know. There's a lot of words on those pages and you've been SO busy lately. But you might as well take a look around. I like comparing it to an old TV show where they introduce each character and give him or her a back story. Old white guy in charge of wars, an Asian Scientist tasked with saving the world, there's even a guy wearing a cowboy hat!

I wonder how long before these lovable little scamps discover the true joys of corruption?
I also think that on inauguration day, these people should all get together and come piling out of a tiny car. It'll be great, there'll be a trapeze and elephants...

After the last eight years, I don't suppose it could get any worse. There's my hope for change. Oh, and

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

(Since I know you aren't going to read the bios in the article, at least glance at the list of names. Try to remember which one thinks men are just plain better at science because it comes with the penis)
(Hint: Its a male! One that obviously doesn't understand science!)

Government Positions
Secretary of State: Hillary Clinton
Defence Secretary: Robert Gates
Treasury Secretary: Timothy Geithner
Health Secretary: Tom Daschle
Attorney General (Justice Secretary): Eric Holder
Homeland Security Secretary: Janet Napolitano
UN ambassador: Susan Rice
Energy Secretary: Steven Chu
EPA Administrator (Environment Secretary): Lisa Jackson
Housing Secretary: Shaun Donovan
Education Secretary: Arne Duncan
Interior Secretary: Ken Salazar
Agriculture Secretary: Tom Vilsack
CIA Director: Leon Panetta

White House Staff
National Security Adviser: General James Jones
National Economic Council: Lawrence Summers
Chief of Staff: Rahm Emanuel
Senior adviser: David Axelrod
Senior adviser: Valerie Jarrett
Transition co-chair: John Podesta
Senior adviser: Pete Rouse
Press secretary: Robert Gibbs
White House counsel: Greg Craig
Assistant for legislative affairs: Phil Schiliro
VP chief of staff: Ron Klain

Bernie 'You Can Trust Me' Madoff

Madoff sends valuables to family(bbc)

Here's my working assumption on why this qualifies as a waste of taxpayer money:
There is a very vocal minority of people around the globe that seem to think that the US Government should have to reimburse Madoff's flock for his treachery. While this sounds ridiculous to you, it is only because you weren't foolish enough to become a member of the flock by investing your hard earned money with a scam artist. (artiste)
Apparently due diligence isn't something you should do before making your own decisions, good lord no, its something the government is supposed to do for you! (I'll put it to you this way: If I go out on a crime spree tonight, and start mugging little old ladies for their purses, is our government responsible to pay each lady I knock over? After all, the government should have known I was a risk!)
It is this very premise (The SEC should have caught him!) that is used to argue that our federal government should pay off the sheep that flocked to Madoff's promises of free money 'Just Because I'll Allow It.' Even those members of this flock that pay no taxes and have never even been to this country. Yes, our government is expected to keep the world safe from predators within our borders.
Ah, but I digress. Thats my overall view of the Madoff scandal, this post is meant to make fun of a very specific portion of my government wasting my money. In a wise attempt to get rid of his valuables before the fed freezes his assets, (well, they've already been frozen, but apparently Madoff doesn't realize what assets are, or what it means when the government freezes them) Madoff is sending out all the stuff in his home to his family and friends. Some of the packages he's sent out since being put under 'house arrest' was valued at over a MILLION bucks.

I take it House Arrest means tether only? Because there must not be anyone watching his house if no one wondered why the UPS truck comes by for a pick up every day...
If I do get caught mugging little old ladies tonight, do you suppose I could get house arrest? That sounds kinda bad ass.

Silver lining: It was members of Bernie's own family that turned him in. They got the million dollar package and called up the government to inquire as to whether or not anyone in the government was willing to pull his or her head out of his or her ass.

Technically, since this guy does not have the assets to cover what he has lost, it could probably be reasoned that we even paid for the postage...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Worldwide taxes at work

Here's one that is soaking up tax dollars from nearly every taxpayer in the world:

Israel (Military funded by Israelis, Americans, and many other countries) bombed a United Nations (Funded by taxpayers world wide) school in Gaza.
Gaza clashes spark 'major crisis'(bbc)

Also consider that when Israel is done trying to ensure the re-election of those who are currently in charge after their upcoming election, most countries will offer aid to the Palestinians to re-build. It takes a lot of aid to the Palestinians to recover from an Israeli election cycle. That'll cost some tax dollars too.

Bombs I bought dropped on schools I paid for so the top Israeli officials can show that they are Hangin' Tough and certainly worthy of remaining in charge...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Illinois State Police protect the 'Football'

A snippet of a conversation between Edward McClelland and a Slate reader:

The big question: Are Blago's aides sticking by him? And are they keeping good track of "the football" (his Paul Mitchell hairbrush)?

Edward McClelland: Blagojevich's aides aren't sticking by him. His chief of staff resigned the week of the arrest, and his legal counsel resigned this week. The "football" is entrusted to his state police detail, so as long as he's governor, he'll be able to maintain his high standard of personal grooming.

Two Sides of a Troubled Governor, Sinking Deeper(nyt)
And yet, Mr. Blagojevich, 52, rarely turns up for work at his official state office in Chicago, former employees say, is unapologetically late to almost everything, and can treat employees with disdain, cursing and erupting in fury for failings as mundane as neglecting to have at hand at all times his preferred black Paul Mitchell hairbrush. He calls the brush “the football,” an allusion to the “nuclear football,” or the bomb codes never to be out of reach of a president.

A state police detail to ensure the Governor's favorite hair brush is at hand at all times...


THIS iswhyIllinoianspaytaxes.