whyipaytaxes

Legistlaters gonna legislate

2012-01-21T09:48:00.000-08:00

Now that we've established that pizza is a vegetable and re-affirmed our national motto, lets get down to some serious work!

This Guy

2011-12-29T20:36:00.001-08:00

A part of why people in the mid 1950's paid taxes was to deal with this guy:

Thanks dude...

THIS is whymyfatherpaidtaxes.

Pissin' match

2011-12-27T21:15:00.000-08:00

This is one of those things that really drives me nuts when you look at it from a whole of humanity perspective...

By around the year 2020 or so, we, as a species, will have 5 completely separate but redundant satellite systems to facilitate navigation and global positioning. Of course, you are familiar with our system called GPS. Each of these systems will cover the entire globe, costs hundreds of BILLIONS of dollars to implement and require dozens of satellites that will consuming valuable natural resources and human capital.

We have not decided to dedicate these redundant resources to feeding the hungry, curing incurable diseases, or exploring our options as the Earth will eventually become completely uninhabitable (whether by our hand, or by the demise of our sun).

Rather, we have decided it is more important to have complete control over where our missiles land without fear of foreign intervention in time of war.

Congratulations, humans, on choosing once again petty differences and a profound mistrust of each other over coming together to improve people's lives...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

At the next sign of logic, turn left

BONUS SCIENCE-RELATED POST

The first man made object ever to leave the influence of our solar system is just about there... Fun!

Coffee, enemas and long distance prayer

2011-12-27T11:53:00.000-08:00

Repost to share about the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine, a mostly unheard of branch of the National Institutes of Health:

Coffee Enemas, Aromatherapy, and Intercessory Prayer: Your Tax Dollars At Work

Their source:Federal center pays good money for suspect medicine(CT)

I don't know about you, but I think it is terrific that we've spent taxpayer dollars ($660,000(!)) on investigating whether or not long distance prayer can heal AIDS abroad. Its not like we're supposed to avoid using state money to further the cause of religions or anything crazy like that...

I do suppose the coffee enemas are understandable when you consider just how full of shit this particular branch of the government is...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Case closed

2011-12-18T22:04:00.000-08:00

Man... Saudi Arabia must save a TON of cash with the wit and efficiency their police force use to serve and protect.

I mean, just take a look at this case:
A 40 year old woman stumbles into a hospital with severe burns and injuries. The doctors tried in vain, but were unable to save her life.

Well, fuck me. There must be some foul play afoot, no?

Well, apparently, "The woman beat herself up and tortured herself with fire," exclaimed police spokesman Colonel Abdullah "No Stone Unturned" Al Sarani. "We closed the case, as no criminal act is involved."

Nicely done officers! Any guesses as to why a woman would beat herself up and torture herself with fire?

The good colonel was glad to be asked, as this open and shut baby tells itself. "Because, she is gripped by jinn. As further evidence, our "Investigation showed the other members of her family are also controlled by jinn."

Fantastic. So, to make sure I understand this, you're saying "Genies! Case closed!" and scurrying away?

That is some beautiful police work.

THIS is whysaudiarabianspaytaxes.
read more: ‘Haunted’ Saudi woman tortures herself to death(e247)

STOP! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!

Tax exempt

2011-12-17T15:09:00.000-08:00

If churches were treated like the business entities they are and had to pay a fair share, the US economy would have an additional $100 BILLION annually in property taxes alone!

Subsidizing for profit organizations...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more:How We All Pay For the Huge Tax Privileges Granted to Religion – It’s Time to Tax the Church(n4cm)

Jesus would have wanted us to have this lobby

Still witch huntin' in 2011

2011-12-12T11:23:00.000-08:00

The witch problem we humans contend with first came to prominence in the dark ages. By the time the Salem Witch Trials came about, we thought we had eradicated the threat altogether. However, as it turns out, we were wrong and still have a witch problem in the world.

Thankfully, our friends in Saudi Arabia have not rested on their laurels while the rest of the complacent world goes on about its business as though sorcery and magic spells don't exist.

Earlier today, Saudi Arabia executed Amina bint Abdul Halim bin Salem Nasser by way of beheading under the charge of practicing "witchcraft and sorcery." Surprisingly, no further details were provided in regards to the charges against her.

That's some good investigatin', judgin', and executin'!

THIS is whysaudiarabianspaytaxes.
Read more: Saudi woman executed for 'witchcraft and sorcery'(bbc)

World War II - Taxes then, taxes now

2011-12-04T18:22:00.000-08:00

About 600 metric tons of unexploded ordnance dropped in Germany during World War II is still being found each year!

Most recently they found and diffused two bombs, one from the UK and one from the US, in the riverbed of the Rhine as the water levels continue to fall.

Precautions taken while diffusing the bombs include:

Around 20,000 people evacuated (including hospitals, nursing homes and a prison)
Shelters set up with 12,000 beds
A fleet of 500 emergency response vehicles were standing by
Sandbags and pump re-routing of the Rhine to provide a dry workspace
Roads and rails in the area were closed
Of course there is the munitions team that diffused the bombs

We paid for the duds in the '40s, they're paying for them now...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more:WWII bomb in Rhine near Koblenz successfully defused(bbc)

Checks balanced

2011-11-28T20:59:00.000-08:00

I'm having a hard time playing optimistic after that last post, but I caught a good story today too...

In spite of Citigroup's success in exchanging re-election donations for feigned ignorance at the executive branch, the judicial put a bitta smackdown on their asses today.

The SEC, who is appointed by representatives of the people to keep the stock market humming along for the good of the people made a deal with Citigroup. This deal was to close the books on their part in a massive toxic mortgage scam. The deal looks like this:
Citigroup sold $1 BILLION in bunk mortgages to its customers. Knowing they were bunk and unlikely to be re-paid, Citi bet against them.

The investors lost $700 MILLION.

Citi earned $160 MILLION. (Good to be 'in' on it!)

In exchange for this blatant disregard of both ethics and rules, the SEC was going to charge Citi with negligence and fine them $285 MILLION.

Negligence... Well, I guess they should've tried harder to not screw their own customers over.

Luckily, this plea deal from the Executive had to be checked over by the Judicial. And, apparently, Citi was unable to bri*ahem* lobby Federal Judge Jed "Not on My Watch" Rakoff into seeing this as a fair and reasonable punishment for a billion dollar scandal.

(Think maybe the fine was fair? Let me take a shot at illustrating this. When a man is arrested with a kilo of heroin, they don't just take 250 grams of it and tell him he is a *bad* man, that he should have a nice day, and if he is ever in need of a job he's always welcome at the station. No. They take ALL the heroin, everything the guy owns and throws him in jail for at least a significant portion of his life.)

Judge Rakoff decided he thought maybe a closer look was necessary. He said:
"The court concludes, regretfully, that the proposed Consent Judgment is neither fair, nor reasonable, nor adequate, nor in the public interest"
"Although this [settlement] would appear to be tantamount to an allegation of knowing and fraudulent intent... the SEC, for reasons of its own, chose to charge Citigroup only with negligence"

Now THAT is some good solid judgin'...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more:Citigroup-SEC $285m toxic mortgage deal rejected(bbc)

Of the people, but not for the people

2011-11-28T15:56:00.000-08:00

This is it, folks... We've lost control of our government.

You guys will remember this little thing we liked to call the TARP, right? Everybody got their britches in a bundle over the "unprecedented" amount of $700 BILLION to be loaned to Wall Street to ostensibly avoid worldwide economic collapse.. Nobody liked it, but at that time, Bush was the lamest of ducks with at least one foot out the door and something [supposedly] HAD to be done.

That the economy eventually collapsed in every realistic and measurable way is irrelevant, but I certainly had to bring it up.

Notice my use of the quotes around "unprecedented" in the paragraph above. I use these quotes because there was plenty of precedence. In fact, the very same banks we bailed out were already into us for a LOT more than $700 BILLION at that time!

Prior to the TARP, the Fed had already made loans to the banks at a total cost that amounted to $7.77 TRILLION! In your face, puny little $700 BILLION.

Bullet points. Too frustrated to make paragraphs:

Magnitude

$7.7 TRILLION is more than half the value of everything our country produced that year
Our 6 largest banks turned their share into $13 BILLION in profit
Morgan Stanley alone borrowed enough ($107 BILLION) to pay off a tenth of nation's delinquent mortgages
Bank of America took $91.4 BILLION of these secret loans while simultaneously taking $45 BILLION from the TARP funds
Banks that were declared too big to fail grew even larger
Our largest banks enjoyed more profits in the last 2.5 years than they did in the 8 years preceding the crisis
All the while, they continue to spend MILLIONS lobbying to derail or weaken laws designed to keep them in check

Transparency

The loans to the banks were undisclosed
The profits earned by the banks were undisclosed
Shareholders, the "owners" of the banks were not told (Where did the profits go?!?)
Taxpayers, the people that have given the authority to the Fed to watch over our money were not told
Congress, which was actively writing an overhaul to our financial regulatory system was not told
These loans were provided with no protections or guarantees for the taxpayers

THEY LOANED OUR MONEY VALUED AT MORE THAN HALF OF EVERYTHING OUR COUNTRY CAN MAKE IN A YEAR TO PRIVATE COMPANIES WITHOUT EVER TELLING ANYONE! The Fed knew, the Bank Managers knew. Not even the owners of the banks knew!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more:Wall Street Banks Earned Billions In Profits Off $7.7 Trillion In Secret Fed Loans Made During The Financial Crisis(tp)

Seasonings Greetings!

2011-11-25T12:49:00.001-08:00

Aside from the police investigation and eventual court cases, this thought has little to do with whyipaytaxes.

However, I just had to remark on the increased use of Pepper Spray this Black Friday.

• At Wal-Mart in Porter Ranch: 'Mom, I was just pepper-sprayed'(LAT)

• Off-Duty Officer Pepper Sprays Unruly Shoppers at N.C. Walmart(mfp)

Tis the season...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

If this committee was 'Super', we're screwed

2011-11-21T15:31:00.000-08:00

Bad news:

The congressional *ahem* "Super" Committee was unable to do as they were told and will not be proposing any suggestions regarding deficit reduction aside from the following advice:

Somebody should throw together some kind of a committee to figure this shit out!

Good news:

It was no one's fault! Feel free to vote for incumbents next year, because not one of the 12 people on the committee failed in their task. As it turns out, it was the other side that failed. Awesome!

Assembling a committee of professional politicians to solve a perpetual national crisis with a result of finger pointing and bullshit posturing...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Sarcasm-free TL;DR summary: Super committee convenes with only the advice that this problem should be dealt with, not ignored for future generations to fix and the Republicans blame the impasse on the Democrats who blame the impasse on the Republicans.

Some more good, solid legislatin'

2011-11-19T09:35:00.000-08:00

If there is one thing you can count on our congress to do, it is some good solid legislatin' for the good of the people when we need it most... If you doubt me, I have a prime example from this past week.

In a congress where budgets cannot be balanced and the worldwide embarrassment of ignoring self imposed deadlines and slipping credit ratings cannot be avoided, a very important piece of legislation got passed this week:
Pizza is a vegetable. No vegetable toppings needed, the tomato paste counts as a vegetable for our school children. To be fair, they also agreed to keeping french fries on the menu and to delay a requirement to provide a minimum amount of whole grains in school meals, so they really are getting quite a bit done here.

I like to feel this pride in my government. I'm positively beaming and smitten with our fine congresspeople. But to be honest, this quality legislatin' didn't write itself. Oh, no. It was requested by the companies that provide pizza and french fries to schools. And without batting an eye, our congress came together in a moment of true harmony to put the hopes and dreams [prof-it mahr-jin] of these companies ahead of the health and well being of our nation's children.
(I realize that this 'change' is to avoid changing the rules from what has served us so well over the past decades. Wait... Did someone say something about an obesity epidemic?)

So remember fellow countrymen and women, if you want your children to grow up with strong bones and superior health - pizza with every meal! ...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Watch Jon Stewart put it into perspective: Superbad(tds)
My 2 favorite lines in his clip:
"Clearly you are in the pocket of Big Hot Pocket"
"It's not democracy, it's digiorno"

TO BE FAIR: It appears to be some kind of a superpower thing: The Russians recently did some of their own solid legislatin' and decided that beer isn't food.

Its been a good few weeks!: In money we trust(wipt)

Our support of major utility companies

2011-11-19T09:24:00.000-08:00

Just an interesting graph to share...

Not only are these 13 fabulous companies NOT paying a dime in taxes, but they are actually receiving our tax dollars to support their operations.

I suppose... With only $4.8 billion in profits, they need our tax money more than the schools do...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
Read more: You’re paying taxes, so why aren’t energy companies?(reuters)

Snails pace

2011-11-11T08:46:00.000-08:00

In order to save a mess of rare snails from a new coal mining site in New Zealand, the Department of Conservation decided to step in and get the killing off of these creatures done more efficiently.

And you thought they were going to try to save them...

They went around the site of the future coal mine and gathered up over 6,000 snails and moved them to climate controlled rooms where they went to work getting the little buggers to breed. (Mood lighting, Barry White and plenty of chocolate seemed to do the trick)

Unfortunately, the room that contained the 'Powelliphanta giant land snails' had a technical glitch and all 800 snails were frozen solid.

No wonder they're rare...

THIS is whyNEWZEALANDERSpaytaxes.
read more: Mishap freezes to death 800 rare New Zealand snails(bbc)

I'm glad mommy and daddy are safe in their government storage facility. Yay!

In money we trust

2011-11-04T20:17:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not have heard, there is some shit going down out there. If I am to understand things correctly, there are massive protests in many of the cities in America, our national deficit is surpassing numbers that were beyond wildest imaginations just a few decades ago, Europe is on the brink of economic catastrophe, we're still embroiled in at least one war right now, a minimum of 9% of our eligible work force can't find work, the Palestinians and Israeli's are still angry with each other, and I hear there are some untrustworthy motherfucker's out their with all sorts of guns, bombs and even a few working on nuclear weapons. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that there are many other things that could really use the full attention of the United States Government right about now.

But, no. OH no.

Our congress (approval rating = 9%) has got FAR more important shit to deal with here. After all, how can our country function if we don't take a time out to RE-AFFIRM our National MOTTO???

Yes, sadly, today, on the floor of the House, they brought up a motion, debated, and passed the reaffirmation of our national motto that was written in 1956: In God We Trust.

This was followed, nearly immediately, by a motion to mint coins to recognize the National Baseball Hall of Fame.

Well, I sure am glad we cleared THAT up...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Watch the video: Men Not At Work(tds)

It ain't tricklin' down folks!

2011-10-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

According to the Congressional Budget Office, since 1979:
After-tax income increased by 275% for the wealthiest 1% of Americans
After-tax income increased by 18% for the poorest 20%

in 2005-2007, right before the Great Recession, the top 20% of the population earned more after-tax income than the entire bottom 80%...

The obvious case that some will make in light of these statistics is that they deserve it. They work harder, they make the right decisions.
Am I to believe that I am that much lazier and that much more ignorant?It feels like I work really hard every day; I'm certainly very tired at the end of a day...
I certainly don't see a 275% increase in my after-tax income ANYtime soon.

Maybe the wealth isn't trickling back down after all...

Don't get me wrong... I don't feel entitled to an increase in my income. If you think about it on a world wide scale, I live a pretty fantastic life full of wonderful toys and comforts beyond the wildest dreams of billions of people.

What drives me nuts is that a vast amount of the 'wealth' in this country has been pooled among 1% of Americans and they have turned our elections into a war of campaign donations while appointing themselves to positions of power so they can use tax payer's money to 'bail' each other 'out.'

They've even stopped paying a reasonable amount of taxes. Again, don't get me wrong, I'm a staunch opponent of high taxes for everyone and loathe big governments.

Alas, we all have to pay our share of taxes to keep the system going. It wasn't until GE paid absolutely $0 (ZERO) in taxes on $5.1 BILLION in profits in 2010 that I realized maybe, just maybe, not everyone was paying their share of taxes.

The statistics from our own government:
http://www.cbo.gov/ftpdocs/124xx/doc12485/10-25-HouseholdIncome.pdf

Beauty we couldn't live without seeing again

2011-09-13T15:43:00.001-07:00

Simon Says: "Fuck it. Tax 'em"

I ran into one of those stories that just twists my mind into a writhing heap of WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR?

I can tell that this was an incredibly expensive endeavor, but I have no idea how much of it was paid for by taxpayers. The work was done at Dundee University and I am assuming that this is a public university that is at least partially funded by taxes. If I am wrong and this story has no right being discussed in a blog about what our tax dollars are spent on, then I guess I'll make the karmic withdrawal. Either way, you can't tell me this money wouldn't have been more appreciated by starving children somewhere in Africa that could have used a school instead.

Adrienne 'Face Painter' Barker realized she was working on a completely useless skill set and was unable to unleash her talents on an unsuspecting business as an employee. So she undertook a project to re-create the face of an Archbishop that died in 1381. Apparently, this guy was a real pioneer in taxing peasants and had his ass handed to him during the Peasant's Revolt. By having his ass handed to him, I mean he was pulled from the Tower of London by an angry mob and had his head chopped off. (Which reminds me... Aren't we past due for another Peasant's Revolt?)

It was SO important to understand what the good Archbishop looked like that Adrienne wasn't going to just get some artists rendering done, oh no. Some excerpts of the process she undertook:
1.) used skeletal detail from the part-mummified skull to build up his facial features
2.) carry out an initial assessment of the skull to determine its age, sex and ancestry
3.) then made a series of 3D bronze resin casts of his head
4.) sculpted each muscle of the face and built this up on the cast
5.) adding a final layer which represents the skin

What drives me batty are a couple of key phrases in the story like her title of Forensic Artist. It comes down to two simple things: One, who cares and how is it important to be able to gaze upon the face of a fellow who died 630 years ago? Two, it is a model, a rendering, an interpretation - to use their term, a "reconstruction." Its not what the guy actually looked like. Period.

The bust will be on display in a church. I would hope, but doubt that it will remind the current Archbishop that he doesn't own the people just because that is how his bosses interpret their bibles.

And I exit with a quote from the artist herself:
"I hope people in Sudbury like what we've done but he's a strange looking fellow so it'll be interesting to see their reactions."

Indeed. I certainly hope they like it. And I really hope that you enjoy seeing their reactions. Otherwise, this will all have been very pointless...

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.
read more:Face of Simon of Sudbury revealed by forensic artist(bbc)

Catching up on fails you pay for

2011-09-04T07:38:00.001-07:00

That is some mighty fine driving. Thanks boys...

2011-09-03T17:33:00.001-07:00

Time AND Money. Nice!

Bodies on the bus go round and round

2011-09-01T17:02:00.000-07:00

Only because my bus driver label tag is underutilized, I present to you the story of a bus driver who killed 15 of his passengers on a bright March day.

Emergency personnel, cops, DAs, Governor Quomo, the National Transportation Safety Board, a Grand Jury, Judge Villegas, and the prison warden and guards all get involved because Ophadell 'I got this' Williams "was not only aware of what precautions to take but made a series of conscious decisions not to take them."

The very least you expect from your bus driver is for him or her to not kill you...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more: Driver in NY bus crash charged with deaths of 15 passengers(REU)

Spoiled brat

2011-08-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

I often hear that kids these days have no work ethic and that everything has changed since 'I' was a kid. (Place any 35 + year old in place of 'I')

I think I have some evidence of this phenomenon.

An 11 year old boy in Germany was told by his mother to clean up after himself. While we shouldn't place too much stock in the overbearing mother's side of the story, she apparently told the child to pick some papers off the floor that he had discarded there.

This outrageous request bordering on child abuse is unacceptable. This kid was mad as hell and he's not going to take it anymore. So he called the cops to report a case of forced labor. According to the police statement he claimed "I have to work all day long. I haven't any free time."

Luckily, the cops didn't over-react as they are often wont to do and this never absorbed any public servant's time beyond taking the call, talking to the mother, filing the report and answering calls from the media.

Taking calls from verwöhnte Kinder... (Google translate, don't fail me now!)

THIS is whyGERMANSpaytaxes.
read more:German boy, 11, calls police over housework(bbc)

Has anyone seen my experimental aircraft?

2011-08-12T07:18:00.000-07:00

Wherever you go, there we are.

I'm not sure exactly how much I spent on it or what it was for, but I bought an experimental aircraft and the Department of Defense lost it.

I guess I'll just have to build another one... How else can I attack any target on the planet in under an hour?

I won't even mention the rocket fuel needed to launch this sweet ride...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more:US military loses contact with hypersonic aircraft(bbc)

Cleanin up the streets

2011-07-22T13:38:00.000-07:00

Your tax dollars at work Rockford!
Open wide, I think I see a little build up behind a molar.

The statue was built from donations, not taxpayer dollars. I would also assume the paint used by the vandal was not paid with taxpayer dollars, but that is far from guaranteed...

For the rest of the story, we see plenty of taxpayer dollars going to work.

1.) The statue, while commissioned from donations was placed, insured and is maintained by the parks department. (Yes, there is at least one rider in the city's insurance policy for this statue)
2.) The renaming of the park it stands in as further homage to the individual immortalized was taken care of by the parks department. (The individual immortalized is so honored for arranging fireworks displays and hanging christmas lights...)
3.) The city has a graffiti removal 'experts' team. This team is unable to fix this and had to call in an outside expert/vendor to analyze. This outside expert/vendor will also probably be the one to eventually clean it.
4.) The initial team of experts apparently wasn't called in until AFTER someone at the city was called in with a steamed water pressure washer. (shown above) Only then did they determine that the paint is automotive paint and ain't coming off without chemicals and sand blasters.
5.) The reason the government jumped into action prior to knowing what action was required is because there is a wedding this weekend in a nearby park. *gasp* We can't ruin the bride's special day booked in a public area by exposing her to what happens in public places!
6.) The tarp that will adorn this statue for the weekend also belongs to the parks department. At least it is a multi-use tarp and hopefully was not purchased just for this special occasion.

Nothing to see here, our city is pristine. Move along now.

7.) The police have been called in and are investigating. I imagine they have all their best men on the case.
8.) And a live report coming from a city employee downtown Rockford today reports seeing "the mayor, police chief, and about five cops surrounding the statue earlier today."

Vandalism riles up a city government real good...

THIS is whyrockfordianspaytaxes.
read more:Cleanup of Joe Marino statue in downtown Rockford is complicated(rrs)

Hops is food, no?

2011-07-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

Now here is some top notch legislatin'

Russia now considers beer to be an alcoholic beverage.

Until now, it has been considered food.

Man... Those Russians... Always telling their citizens how to live their lives...

THIS is whyrussianspaytaxes.
read more: Russia classifies beer as alcoholic(bbc)

Alligators in Missouri

2011-07-02T18:24:00.000-07:00

Another example of a wonderful bit of police work.

The Independence, Missouri police department got a call reporting a 'gator sighting near a tree by a pond. Being sure to do their due diligence, the police called the local conservation officer to determine how best to dispatch the foul beast before it starts eating children. With solid advice from the conservation officer, they knew upon arrival on the scene that shooting this monster in the head is the only way to save the townsfolk from their certain demise.

Since the due dilligence part of the case was behind them, three officers (in case the first two were overcome by the angry reptile) got to the scene, pulled out their rifles and just started shooting.

You and I might wonder why this alligator hadn't moved since the report was phoned in, some calls were made, and the police reported to the scene. You and I might have looked down the scope of the rifle to see that this stoic troglodyte isn't moving even a bit. You and I might have even wondered why this particular lizard wasn't green like the ones we've seen on Animal Planet.

But it wasn't until the second bullet bounced off the evil creature's head before they realized this concrete lawn ornament was not a threat to anyone but their imaginations. As it turns out, the property owner bought the statue to keep kids off his property. I bet it worked on the kids.

Too bad it didn't work on the cops...

THIS is whyMISSOURIANSpaytaxes.
read more:Independence Police Shoot Alligator Lawn Ornament(kmbc)

Morbid Security

2011-07-01T19:04:00.000-07:00

You'll remember my post (yeah, right) about a trend in Japan of folks keeping the corpses of their parents around so they can forge and cash their social security checks. At the bottom of my post I mentioned that it won't be too long before this becomes a trend in the U.S. Well... The trend is certainly moving westward.

Hazel 'Don't forget the Glade' Maddock and her daughter Jasmine 'Just put a blanket over her' Maddock lived with Jasmine's grandmother Olive. When Olive passed away, they simply locked the bedroom door and Hazel told Jasmine that "the death should not be reported until the pension was secured."

After 6 months of not seeing a favorite neighbor, a local resident reported that something fishy was going on at the Maddock's. When an officer first gained entry to the home he immediately smelled a rancid odor and noticed that the house was infested with mice and swarms of flies. After using a crowbar on Olive's bedroom door, it was discovered that the body had already decomposed to a skeleton while lying on the bed.

Upon arrest, Hazel's response was "I'm no expert I didn't know if she was dead."

Pretty sure it doesn't take a doctor to realize that if you haven't seen a person come out of her room for 6 months and your house is filled with swarms of flies and the smell of decomposing flesh that maybe you ought to knock on the door and ask if everything is alright.

I guess I'm no expert either...

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.
read more:Grandmother corpse: Benefit fraud daughter jailed(bbc)

Posessed dog case

2011-06-18T13:37:00.000-07:00

Because a dog wandered into a rabbinical courthouse in Jerusalem, the judges just had to have a trial. After all, they couldn't get it to leave!

In the end, these judges ruled:
* The dog was a reincarnation of a lawyer who died 20 years ago.
* This dog is this lawyer because 20 years ago, the judges ruled that the lawyer's spirit would enter the body of a dog. This classic ruling was made because the lawyer insulted the judges.
(Imagine that, insulting *these* fine judges? No way!)
* They are certain of this because the dog wouldn't leave.
and... My favorite part of the ruling:
* That the dog should be stoned to death, by children. Fun for the whole family!

Good, solid, and quality judgin'...

THIS is whyisraelispaytaxes.

read more:Jerusalem rabbis 'condemn dog to death by stoning'(bbc)

Freedom of information isn't always free

2011-06-18T13:27:00.000-07:00

The City Council of Leicester (UK) was forced to consider and admit that they are unprepared for a zombie attack. Because they don't have bigger problems to solve, a 'concerned citizen' filed a Freedom of Information request. As no such information was available, they instead had the head of Information Governance announce their lack of planning in regards to this fictitious threat.

I don't know about you, but I hope my city council is working on far more important things. On the plus side, this couldn't have taken up any more than 5 minutes of City Council time. And I hope the chuckle gained makes up for the few minutes lost...

THIS is whyleicesterianspaytaxes

read more: Leicester City Council 'not ready' for zombie attack(bbc)

Vetting presidential qualifications at every level of government

2011-04-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

Lt Col Terrence 'More capable to judge than my entire command chain' Lakin refused his orders to deploy to Afghanistan. He refused his orders based on the popular hysterical conspiracy theory that Obama isn't eligible to be president. He stated that he would ONLY deploy once Obama's original birth certificate was released and verified.

I guess that this guy is able to spot a faker better than each and everyone of his superior officers, including the Joint Chiefs of Staff and the Secretary of Defense himself. Screw the state of Hawaii for producing a certified birth certificate and whatever federal government group responsible for vetting the applications for being put on the ballot that OK'd Obama's election. Screw the fact that all of his co-workers and the entire country is OK with the evidence provided thus far. After all, this evidence only shows how far-reaching Obama's power to conduct this conspiracy is.

No sheep to no sham, Lakin stood his ground and refused to deploy. No matter that his orders came from a higher ranking officer whose qualifications aren't in question. Apparently, we are to assume that his orders were personally delivered by the president and that Lakin was the only person that could bring an end to the madness.

My favorite part is once the court martial got underway. Lakin realized that the only thing his douchebaggery has gotten him was his 15 minutes of [Fox News] fame, the end of his career, and a potential jail sentence. Suddenly, he can be heard saying its OK if his demands are refused because "I don't want it to end this way, I want to continue to serve."
Maybe you should have thought of that before you refused to do your job.

Court martial proceedings, potential jail time, and wasting the military's time on grooming a high level officer who can't be counted on to do what is asked of him.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more:'Birther' army doctor Lakin convicted for not deploying(bbc)

200 mph patrol car

2011-04-17T13:58:00.000-07:00

TAKE A $360,000 POLICE CAR

ADD AN INCOMPETENT POLICE OFFICER

AND YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A WASTE OF TAXPAYER MONEY!

read more:Italian Police Crash Lamborghini Patrol Car(NYT)

Outra GE ous

2011-04-17T10:48:00.000-07:00

Steve Breen

2 for 1

2011-03-24T20:26:00.001-07:00

Its that much better when the city has to pay to repair two cop cars for the same mistake.

Saving Private Ryan - The shopping list

2011-03-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

A US plane fell apart over Libya. The two man crew ejected to safety.

But they were in a bad place and they had just crashed their ride.

In the events that followed, the various forces were involved

Consumed:
1 EA F15E Strike Eagle Fighter Jet (+ weapons)
2 EA 500 lb laser guided bombs

Deployed:
2 EA AV-8B Harriers
1 EA F16 Fighter Jet
1 EA KC-130 Fuel Tanker
2 EA MV-22 Ospreys
2 EA CH-53 Sea Stallion helicopters
1 EA Platoon of Quick Reaction Marines
1 EA Flight to undisclosed location in Europe

All that and we only saved one of the 2 guys. The other one was found by Libyan Rebels and kept safe until he could be flown out to the aforementioned undisclosed location.

Cost of doing business!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more:Timeline: U.S. forces hurried to rescue of two stranded airmen(cnn)

PS - Anyone wonder how the hell 2 laser guided bombs were consumed in a rescue mission? A group of Libyans were approaching one of the pilots, so one of the Harrier Jets dropped the bombs in between the Libyans and the pilot.
5 Libyans were injured by shrapnel from the explosion.
I did mention that the other pilot was saved by Libyans, right? Good thing we didn't bomb them too...

Those poor Chinese...

2011-02-27T12:49:00.000-08:00

The UK has decided to stop giving its taxpayer's money to several poor countries such as China, Russia, and India.

Yeah. Until now, the worlds second largest economy was in dire need of your tax pounds more than your city government or local school.

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.
read more:UK 'to end direct aid to 16 countries'(bbc)

PS - They're just shortening the list of countries getting aid. Overall, they will give away more of your tax pounds than ever.

No one here, eh?

2011-02-27T12:35:00.001-08:00

You may have seen some of the stories about countries frantically trying to evacuate their citizens from Libya. Oh the costs involved...

But a real champion crew from Canada have managed to earn the Least Valuable Rescue Flight Award. In spite of having 213 Canadians registered at their embassy as wanting to get the fuck out, this crew landed at Tripoli and took off again without picking ANYONE up.

While no one really knows anything yet, the only official response at this time is that they were unable to find any Canadians or citizens of 'like minded countries' waiting at the airport. I'd be willing to bet the crew never even got off the plane, staying only long enough to refuel for the flight home.

They also say the conditions on the ground were dangerous.
Yeah. We get that... Isn't that kinda the reason you went there in the first place?

Rescue flights saving themselves from the hostile territory they visit...

THIS is whycanadianspaytaxes.
read more:Canadian rescue plane leaves Tripoli with no passengers(bbc)

The tangled webs we weave

2011-02-05T10:26:00.001-08:00

Clay Bennett

Cuts N Hikes

2011-02-05T10:11:00.000-08:00

Clay Jones

Feel the burn

2011-02-02T20:10:00.000-08:00

Every single ambulance service in the UK has begun investing in everything from wider stretchers to specialized ambulances to better serve the morbidly obese sect.

I'm talking double wide ambulances with reinforced lift gates, heavy duty wheel chairs, lifting cushions and a hoist.

So put down that twinkie tons of fun, 'cause you're running up health care costs in more ways than your diabetes treatments...

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.

read more:Fat patients 'prompts ambulance fleet revamp'(bbc)

DHS becomes DLS

2011-01-30T13:14:00.000-08:00

Another tough one here. This reason for spending our tax dollars is beyond reproach - I just like pointing out why it is we pay our taxes...

We now have Immigration & Customs Enforcement (ICE) Agents from the Department of Homeland Security in countries around the world placed there simply to defend those countries against American criminals. Specifically we're after those creepy enough to go on vacation looking for underage prostitutes. Their goal is to find these creeps and instead of letting them bribe their way out of local trouble, we bring them back to the U.S. for some real justice.

I bring this up because of the apparent inconsistencies.
1.) They are IMMIGRATION agents. They are not MIGRATION agents. Lets use our border patrols to patrol our borders. Let them work on catching people coming into our country, not leaving it.
2.) Though it has long been 'proven' that 'Home'land Security begins in countries like Iraq and Afghanistan, we should really take a moment to inform our government that those countries are not our HOMEland.
3.) Imagine the costs involved in maintaining a force in other countries, in shipping the creeps back for a full blown trial, and all this process entails simply because we don't trust their courts to punish our citizens severely enough for crimes against their citizens.

Here's my point - We can't turn the Department of Homeland Security into the Department of Land Security because it is the most appropriate group of agents to spread thin. If this is a problem that we feel must be addressed, then lets take care of it. Lets create the Department of Saving Others From Ourselves and staff it to the brim with special agents trained to put an end to child/sex/slavery. Let the DSOFO find their own funding and lobbyists and support in congress. Don't tell me I'm paying for border agents to keep me safe, then send those agents a half a planet away from the borders I've been told their guarding.

Our border agents protecting their borders...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

The Horse Molesterer

2011-01-28T10:21:00.000-08:00

Derek 'Wood' Woods just LOVES horses.

In December of 2009, a woman who owns a stables in Devon (England), was surprised to see ol' Derek crashed out in her barn. Shooing him away, she thought she had seen the last of this sorry excuse for a man. To be safe, she had fake cameras and an audible alarm set up in and around her barn.

In February of 2010, she noticed that one of her horses was walking funny again. Fearing the worst, the fake cameras and alarm were eliminated and replaced with hidden infrared cameras.

By August, Derek just couldn't stand to be away from his little filly any longer and gave the stable owner and police a little infrared show.

Aside from the small mountain of private cash invested in this by the stable owner, we have several calls out to the police and now a trial and some punishment to pay for. Luckily they won't put him in jail, but a probation officer will be that much busier for the next 24 months. I also imagine Woods won't be paying for his own treatment for alcohol dependency.

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.

PS - I was torn about titling this post 'Horse Rearing', but 'The Horse Molesterer' just had that much more kick...

PPS - I was picturing a dodgy old man barely hanging on in his drunken twilight years. It was another look at the story before I realized this guy is 26 YEARS OLD! Man... If you can't get a date at 26, you've got issues. Wait. I guess that this guy has issues was already pretty clear...

read more:Man sentenced for sex act on horse at Devon stables(bbc)

Inspection emergency: They're baaack!

2011-01-28T07:47:00.000-08:00

And stronger than ever! (Back story in old post: Inspection emergency(wipt))
This time, they brought reinforcements.

Doule the idling pleasure for double the breathing fun!

Yes, it takes a fire truck AND an ambulance to get 10 blocks away to re-inspect a building. This time it took about 6 folks to complete the inspection.

And, I'm not kidding, its not that big of a building I work in:

Home sweet office

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Good money after bad

2011-01-27T11:06:00.000-08:00

I don't know what I'm going to do when I grow up, but its gonna be BIG!

You can look long and hard, but it is unlikely you'll be able to find a more shining example of government waste. As with most government waste, this project was started with the best of intentions. 10 years and $6.5 BILLION(£4.1 BILLION) later, I'm not so sure those good intentions were followed through on...

The project is the Nimrod MRA4. It is the last combat airplane Britain developed. The intent was to be able to patrol the Atlantic Ocean looking for submarines. The plan was to build 9 planes total.

Then the new government took over. With 1 plane completed and ready to fly and 3 planes at 90% complete, the government decided it would save itself from $3.19 BILLION in operating costs to kill the program immediately.

$6.5 BILLION already spent on the project. Kill it now to save $3.19 BILLION.

Lets recoup costs?
1.) 1 was complete, 3 were almost done, we can sell them, right?
Wrong - We don't want the folks who want them to have them. The folks we don't mind having them have no realistic need for them. Plus, its a very specific plane. To finish production and to maintain it in use would require its own specialized workforce.
2.) At least we're gutting them for parts, right?
Wrong(ish) - They're trying, but most everything on these planes are already truly obsolete. Remember, they were designed 10 years ago. According to a guy at the Ministry of Defense, you wouldn't put some of these components in a Play Station let alone a modern military aircraft.
3.) Just stop progress and store it until economies and budgets are restored to ridiculous levels, that'll save the money, right?
Wrong - Remember, these planes are already so obsolete, we can't even use most of the components. Plus, storing a project of this magnitude still requires a big building and crews to keep it up. Just throwing it in a garage out back ain't gonna work.
4.) We're not just going to cut it into pieces and sell it as scrap metal, are we?
You Betcha.

Spending $6.5 BILLION on a project and destroying the results...

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.

read more:Why smash up a brand new spy plane?(bbc)

Rocket fueled

2011-01-21T21:50:00.002-08:00

Can I get your help moving this weekend? I think we got it in 1 trip.

I don't know the exact fuel economy of the Delta IV Heavy, but it has got to set us back a bit every time they fire this puppy up.

The rocket itself is as tall as a 20 story building.
It burns a ton of fuel each SECOND. (What does a ton of rocket fuel run now days?)

It brings gigantic satellites into orbit for the CIA and DOD. We don't get to know what it weighs or exactly what it carries. Though we do have this hint: Large imaging satellites of the type the Delta IV could launch would have remarkable resolution

They spent $100 MILLION just upgrading the launch pad to fit this bastard.

As I often do, I'll state that I'm not saying whether or not this project is good or bad, its just how we spend our money. I'm kind of glad our government has the baddest satellites...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Watch the video in this link. It looks a bit like a skyscraper lifting off.
read more: Huge Delta rocket flies from Vandenberg, California(bbc)

Guinea raid!

2011-01-15T23:37:00.000-08:00

Some brilliant police work and a questionable way to gain probable cause warrants led to the police investigating a hotspot in a primary school teacher's garage.

Cops taking part in the big pot growing operation bust turned out to find a couple guinea pigs enjoying themselves under a heat lamp.

Yes. Some police departments regularly fly over homes looking for irregular heat signatures. Apparently the damage to the environment and law enforcement budgets is well worth making it hard for those rowdy, no good potheads to get their fix.

By rowdy, I mean lethargic.
By no good, I mean hungry.

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.

read more: Bradford cannabis raid finds guinea pig heater(bbc)

Toll dodging

2011-01-14T14:24:00.000-08:00

In an impressive feat, a man in China was able to evade $560,000 in toll charges over a 9 month period by affixing military plates to his vehicle. Then they fined him another $300,000 and sentenced him to life in prison.

Of interest:
That one could run up over a half a million dollars in tolls over a 9 month period makes me wonder if he did a lot of driving, or if there are simply too many toll booths in China. (I'd say both. He was running overweight loads which incurred larger than normal toll charges.)

That one could obtain military plates to put on his vehicle to evade tolls makes me wonder about their military quartermasters.

That one could be expected to repay $800,000 while spending life in prison... Well, I suspect he'll be costing more than what he already owes.

In the end:
In a relatively un-China-like move, they have decided to re-try the poor guy because of a bit of a people's revolt on the Internet. Hopefully the cost of this re-trial and the amount they save by not imprisoning him for the rest of his life are a wash.

THIS is whyCHINESEpaytaxes.

read more: Outcry prompts retrial for Chinese toll dodger(bbc)

Dunk

2011-01-09T15:44:00.000-08:00

Maybe this one won't cost too much if they can use a different fire truck to pull it out.
And, of course, this truck still works...

Suddenly Big Red understood why he was never to bob for apples

The cost of freedom

2011-01-06T19:14:00.000-08:00

Of course maintaining the largest military in the world is gonna cost some dollars, but this is still a fun figure:
The Pentagon's budget for 2012 is expected to be $553 BILLION.

I expect it'll be worth every penny.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Bird droppings

2011-01-02T10:02:00.000-08:00

Over a thousand black birds dropped out of the sky on New Year's Eve in Arkansas. It wasn't particularly wide spread, pretty much all came from the same flock. It can logically be explained by a number of things, but it really does make you wonder.

But why wonder, when you can have the Arkansas Fish and Game Commission investigate?
About 65 birds were sent off to the lab for further testing.
I imagine this is going to run a bit more than routine blood work.

Oh, and the city of Beebe hired a specialist waste-disposal firm to collect and dispose of the dead birds from gardens and rooftops. Can't just leave the little bastards lying around...

As is often the case, this is arguably a service well worth the tax dollars. I just hope its a competent investigation with transparent results.

THIS is whyarkansasianspaytaxes.

read more: More than 1,000 blackbirds fall out of Arkansas sky(bbc)

What a riot!

2011-01-01T09:59:00.000-08:00

With 2 guards and 4 support staff, it was time to conduct breathalyzer tests on inmates at Ford prison. 2 guards and 4 support staff quickly turned into 2 fire engines and 140 prison staffers when the riot broke out.

Some of what costs tax dollars:
1.) In this prison, they had "a pool room with 10 newly-installed pool tables"
2.) The prisoners destroyed this room, along with a mail room, a gym, and a snooker room. I'm glad so much has been invested into the comfort of these gentlemen. Now if only we could somehow get them to STOP DESTROYING IT ALL!
3.) "Specialist prison guards in body armour have been tackling rioting inmates" - THAT can't be cheap
4.) Prisoner transfer costs - "damage was severe and prisoners had begun to be moved out of the compound to elsewhere"
5.) "Once control is fully re-established, a review is called for to determine how and why this happened"
6.) "[calls] for upgraded CCTV for the site to be installed as a priority"

Well, I hope you boys had fun.

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.

read more: Specialist officers tackle Ford open prison riot(bbc)

Laws of Physics

2010-12-30T10:36:00.000-08:00

Above the laws of the land? You betcha.
Above the laws of physics? Nope!

The flashing lights are on to let you know this is an emergency.

PS -

Shown:

The officer, doing nothing, on the clock.

A portion of the crew working to get the car out, whether government employees or contractors.

Damage to completed work in a road construction project.

Not Shown:

Re-demolishing this concrete area.

Re-completing the work in this road construction project.

PPS - I'd be willing to bet the police cruiser in the picture was still idling.

Don't ask. Period.

2010-12-19T08:11:00.000-08:00

Studying, debating, legislating, enforcing, re-debating, more studies, more legislating, now enforcing who exactly it is we are comfortable putting in harm's way to ensure my quality of life.

Sure he can spot the extremist in a crowd of muslims from 100 yards, but did you hear where he sticks his dick at night? Has anyone told Congress about this guy? I certainly don't want him taking a bullet for me!

Even a step in the right direction costs our money.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

A Bailout I Can Get Behind

2010-12-17T16:27:00.000-08:00

Bush tax cuts remain in effect. $859 BILLION is the cost.

In this case:
cost = not taking $859 BILLION from us

read more: US tax cuts: Obama signs compromise deal into law(npr)

Getting to know one another

2010-11-26T09:12:00.000-08:00

In a city slashing firemen, policemen, librarians, and more, Rockford, Illinois has a school district superintendent spending the city budget the smart way: $18,000 on a weekend conference for 14 school board members and staffers in a city less than 2 hours away from the district.

Must have been one hell of a conference, right? Probably learned about how to deliver excellent education in times of tightening budgets. Some sort of revolutionary way to run a school district that saves money while producing the best and the brightest, I'd imagine.

In the words of the School Board President, David 'Its all about the kids' Kelley:
"I attended a day-long seminar on what's referred to as the Meyer-Briggs type indicator," he says. "And the purpose of that was to help board members better understand each other."

Wait a minute. It took $18,000 for a conference this guy sums up as a chapter in both my Organizational Behavior and Intro to Psych college class books? Shit. I would have donated my old books if I had known they needed them.

Of the $18,000, $8,000 went to rooms. Seem reasonable for Chicago until you do a Hotwire search to discover that there is a wonderful Days Inn in Des Plaines that routinely goes for $32 per night. Now, I don't ask that the Board stays in the same accommodations I do when I visit Chicago on business a few times a year, but I think that $300 per night per person seems a bit steep for supposed public servants.

Of the $18,000, $2,000 went to ONE meal. I'm not sure when the federal per diem rates jumped above the $35 per day I'm used to, but I'm pretty sure it has not yet reached $142 PER MEAL per person.
(By one account(pdf - page 2), LaVonne 'One More - For The Kids' Sheffield (Superintendent) had to be practically carried away from the dinner table having consumed too much alcohol to depart without assistance.
Perhaps getting 14 people shitty drunk in a swank downtown Chicago hotel restaurant is what ran up the bill so high...)

Of the $18,000, $1,000 has been requested to be paid back for unapproved expenses such as spouses' dinners, in-room movies, and other charges in an e-mail sent out as soon as WREX sued under the Freedom of Information Act. No FOIA, and we would have enjoyed another grand flushed down the tubes for pay-per-view pleasures.

One last fun tidbit is the fact that when asked by the reporter that did all the leg work on this, none of the board members, including David and LaVonne were able to tell him exactly how much this weekend cost the taxpayers. They didn't really know and apparently didn't really care.

As urged by the reporter at the end of his story, I also feel it would be reasonable to call LaVonne at (815) 966-3101 and let her know what you think about this wonderful use of taxpayer dollars.

School board members getting to better understand each other at $1,285 a head...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: You Paid For It: D205's Chicago getaway(WREX)
Friend, recommend, and tweet this reporter for doing his job: Bob Schaper

Do read Dr. Patrick Hardy's account of the $2,000 dinner and the weekend overall. He was incensed that most of the 14 skipped the conference to go shopping and he refused to take part in the lavish dinners. Sounds like the day long class Mr. Kelley attended was probably the only one he attended all weekend. Suddenly his vague summary of the weekend seems about right...
The story from WREX: UPDATE: District 205 releases letter from Dr. Patrick Hardy
Dr. Hardy's letter published by WREX: Patrick Hardy's Letter to Dr. Sheffield

Inspection emergency

2010-11-17T08:37:00.001-08:00

When the Hampshire, IL Fire Department goes out to inspect buildings for fire code, they go in style.

For one, it takes a team of 4 people to inspect a building. Not a big building, only 4 suites... Most of the inspectors stand around while the one in charge actually takes a look around and hollers out things for the others to write down.

While you might expect them to pile into the fire marshal's sedan for a scheduled appointment to inspect a building, they don't. Instead, they fire up Big Red and leave it idle out front for hours while inspecting. Apparently, their inspection equipment (clip boards) did not fit in the trunk.

Good for the environment AND the city budget.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Idling, for your breathing pleasure

P.S. - I'd like to mention the time, about a month ago when they had this baby stopped at a major intersection, lights flashing. As drivers slow down approaching the intersection, fearing the worst, a young fireman approaches each vehicle with an upside down helmet asking for donations. Not exactly fodder for my blog, but a HFD related story I just had to share...

Commonwealth corruption

2010-11-15T09:37:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago, I published a post about the Commonwealth Games in India. The focus of my post on the hiring of large langur monkeys to control the crowds of smaller monkeys that are pretty much a menace throughout Delhi. After all, the only thing we love more than stories about monkeys are the dang little monkeys themselves... Adorable!

At the introduction of that post, I linked to a slide show of horrors showing the athlete's quarters at the Commonwealth games. Overall, I was trying to make the point that India had not prepared for the games at all, in spite of the tax money that had gone into it.

Well... They found some of the money and arrests are being made. No big surprise, the money was being siphoned by corrupt officials who were handing contracts to friends, not construction companies...

THIS is whyindianspaytaxes.

read more: Two Delhi Commonwealth Games officials arrested(bbc)

Bribes for peace

2010-11-13T21:29:00.000-08:00

Turning a blind eye to the fact that there wouldn't even be an Israel without our financial and military support, our illustrious leaders have decided that its time to give them more of our tax dollars.

What other way could we get them to seriously consider resuming peace negotiations for their own good?

There are no details. Us simps don't deserve an explanation.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: US offers Israel incentive plan to save peace talks(bbc)

Another criminal tweet

2010-11-11T13:37:00.000-08:00

At least this one didn't end in jail time. In fact, the fine helps to pay for the police and court time involved...

A man has been fined £3,000 for this tweet:
Robin Hood Airport is closed. You've got a week... otherwise I'm blowing the airport sky high!

The statute he violated is 'sending a menacing electronic communication'

Even the officer 'investigating' the 'case' said this was ridiculous.

Show me pictures of people fleeing the RH Airport in a snowstorm, tears freezing to their faces as they huddle in fear of the imminent explosion. Then I'll get behind a fine for this guy...

Until then, the Brits have GOT to stop trying to arrest and try everyone that has access to a keyboard because they don't like what was posted on the Internet.

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.

Read more: Man in Twitter bomb threat against airport loses appeal(bbc)

Cleaning the Crazy right out of the Internet:
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2010/11/more-arrests-over-bad-comments.html
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2010/10/rude-enough-for-imprisonment.html
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2008/10/virtual-crime-real-bars-in-window.html

More arrests over bad comments

2010-11-11T11:04:00.000-08:00

Wow... The Brits are going a bit overboard with arresting and trying people who have the audacity to speak their mind on the Internet.

About a week ago, I posted about a jail sentence for a guy who posts horrendous comments on Facebook tribute pages for the recently deceased. Yeah. World class douchebag... But don't go changing the privacy settings of your Facebook tribute pages just yet, 'cause they got him. The Internet is once again a safe place to surf.

The new story is about a guy who tweeted that a writer he disagreed with should be stoned to death.
Unreasonable comment? Yes.
Horrendous comment? Yes.
Ignorant pig? You betcha.

If I were the writer in question, I would make not following his tweets a very high priority on today's to do list.

Did he throw the first stone? No.
Did he actually try to arrange the stoning? No.
Should he be arrested and thrown in jail for typing what he wanted into a service designed to allow anyone to post whatever they want? NO!

That he was a government official ought to lead to him losing his job. That would be reasonable. A forced public apology has been done, the woman in question has not been stoned.
Did he really need to be handcuffed and arrested? Did he really need to be bailed out of prison, or to hire a defense lawyer to stand trial? Because of a 140 characters or less?

... ... Beats having a freedom of speech!

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.

read more: Tory councillor arrested over Twitter stoning post(bbc)

The offending tweet was quite obviously a terrible attempt at being funny on a subject where this guy has no reason getting involved:
Can someone please stone Yasmin Alibhai-Brown to death? I shan't tell Amnesty if you don't. It would be a blessing, really.

Groggle, Drinkle, just get me another beer

2010-11-10T11:10:00.000-08:00

Cameron 'Cheap Beer is my Favorite Beer' Collie has a rather wonderful idea for a web site. Simply plug in your location and his service will locate the closest and cheapest beer.

Not a bad service. He thought he'd call it Groggle, as a play on the common Australian term for alcoholic beverage, grog. (No fellow Americans, the Australian word for beer is not Foster's)

"Good lord!" exclaimed Google. "What if confused drunken Australians intending to undertake an Internet search accidentally go to Groggle.com instead of Google.com??!??! Heavens No!"

So they thought they'd put the Australian government's trademark offices to work on this situation by fighting Cameron's attempts to trademark the term Groggle.

After 6 months of battling in court, they finally reached an agreement out of court. While no one is talking details, Cameron tweets that he will be enjoying a bottle of 'Australia's Most Expensive Beer' after the agreement.

Of course, Groggle lost. The new site will be called Drinkle.com. Also a fun name that ought to catch on quite nicely.

THIS is whyAUSSIESpaytaxes.

read more: Google scotches Australian 'Groggle' search(bbc)
drink more: Drinkle.com

Sad clown

2010-11-10T11:01:00.000-08:00

Everyone's favorite clown, Uncle Sam, has recently become a sad clown indeed. During a recent break in his specially designed unicycle and a thousand balloons were stolen from him.

Seriously. Is there some sort of a thriving black market where the demand for unicycles is high? What thief has the ability to launder 1,000 balloon animal balloons for profit?

Oh well... I'm sure the Swansea Police Department was bored that day and just looking for a crime to solve.

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.

read more: Clown's unicycle and balloons stolen in Swansea(bbc)

Keeping the 911 operators busy

2010-11-05T21:15:00.000-07:00

click the image to read what has been cut off by blogger

Rude enough for imprisonment

2010-10-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

Colm 'Decency Free' Coss of Ardwick, Manchester (UK) is a world class loser. He found great joy in opening fake Facebook accounts and defiling tribute pages of the recently deceased. He seems to enjoy telling the traumatized family that he enjoyed having sex with the corpse of their loved ones.

Yeah. A real peach. A real fucking stand-up guy. The kind of guy you wouldn't mind meeting in a dark alley with a bunch of your friends.

So, how to handle this?
Do we stop making Facebook tribute pages? Nope. Couldn't do that. People like having tribute pages.
Perhaps we could set the comments section to be reviewed and approved? Nope. Couldn't do that. People like having tribute pages open to anyone in the world. After all, its a tribute page, no one would disrespect that!

Naw. Screw all that. Lets just throw him in jail!

After all, he was Very Mean in a public forum. And Very Mean people should be in jail!

Its a lot like the girl who recently decided to invite the entire world to her birthday party, then was surprised that a handful of them actually RSVPd to attend.
When will people learn that when you choose to allow the general public into your life online, its not just the fun ones that will show up?

Trial, room, and board because a disturbed man posted tasteless comments in a forum designed to allow anyone to post anything they want...

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.

Read more: Jade Goody website 'troll' from Manchester jailed(bbc)

And you thought WE knew a thing or 2 about Medicare fraud

2010-10-29T16:47:00.000-07:00

In a case of finding cures for diseases that don't exist that would make Big Pharma envious, 83 unnecessary operations were carried out in a private clinic in Milan, Italy. And I'm not talking a nip here, a tuck there... Oh no.

I'm talking unnecessary mastectomy on an 18 year old girl, 3 lung surgeries on an 88 year old woman when one would have done the trick, at least one unnecessary lung removal, and so many surgeries that 5 elderly patients died.

In the end, about $3.4 MILLION was charged to the Italian version of Medicare for surgeries that had no medical purpose.

In all, 14 people were arrested. The apparent ringleader, Brega 'Chop Shop' Massone said of his 15.5 year sentence: Its unfair, I was the scapegoat!
Imagine. 15.5 years in exchange for playing a part in forever scarring a young woman, scamming the citizens of Italy for millions of dollars, and killing off several elderly patients. And he thinks the sentence is unfair.

THIS is whyITALIANSpaytaxes.

read more: Italy doctors jailed for 'clinic of horrors' operations(bbc)

Now where'd I put those nukes?

2010-10-21T14:47:00.001-07:00

Ok... So we didn't actually lose any nuclear weapons, but apparently our country was left without nuclear defenses for a span of months late in the Clinton Administration.

As it turns out, the Presidential aide that was responsible for the nuclear launch codes 'lost' them. Without these codes, even the President can't set forth a nuclear winter upon our enemies.

Not exactly a set of car keys you're dealing with here dude...

The best part, the watchdog for the codes from the Pentagon was easily sent chasing his own tail. Each time the aide was asked to show the codes, he said that Clinton had them on his person and was in a 'Very Important Meeting' and couldn't be bothered.
Rather than waiting around for the President to show up, the watchdog felt the aide's excuses were good enough for now. (I wonder if Presidents often keep the codes on them. The feeling of potential power must be a bit intoxicating...)

Building and implementing a fool proof system to safeguard a devastating system turns out only to be proof of fools...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: US presidential nuclear codes 'lost for months'(bbc)

Nothing to see here... Move along now

2010-10-19T18:25:00.000-07:00

A few tax dollars at work here...

Hand picked

2010-10-15T18:16:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, the Russian state-owned media begins attacking the mayor of Moscow for a variety of things like gridlock. A couple weeks later, President Puti... errr... Medvedev fires him. Not long after, Medvedev appoints a close aid to Prime Minister Putin as the new mayor.

Hand picked leadership...

THIS is whyrussianspaytaxes

read more: President Medvedev picks PM Putin's aide to run Moscow(bbc)

Did he just say election?

Taxpayer's receipt

2010-10-03T20:14:00.001-07:00

Thanks to the folks at Third Way for throwing this one together. Its a look at what you spent your taxes on if you are a median wage earner in the U.S. in 2009.

Please visit Third Way for details, this is from page 3

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: An itemized list of what your taxes pay for(Marketplace)

Monkey v. Smaller Monkey

2010-10-02T18:34:00.000-07:00

In preparation for the Commonwealth Games, the Delhi officials in charge decided not to prepare.
Check out this slide show of the Athlete's Village a week before the athlete's are supposed to move in... Inside the athlete's village

One place they are well prepared for is monkey control. They're going to control the monkey problem by bringing in bigger monkeys. Black-faced langur monkeys to be exact.

Keep him busy while I get his wallet.

For the safety of everyone involved, they will keep these angry monkeys on a rope. The smaller monkeys that overrun dehli won't come near them, thus leaving the tourists alone. Its good to see these langurs finally getting back to work as productive members of society.

Preparation for Commonwealth Games...

THIS is whyindianspaytaxes.

read more: Delhi ropes in monkeys for Commonwealth Games security(bbc)
more fun: Monkeying Around(wipt)

Prostitutes for research

2010-10-01T10:41:00.000-07:00

No... Its not the porn industry hiring whores for research. Nope. Its the U.S. Government!

Back in the late 40s, the U.S. government, with approval from the Guatemalan government, hired a bunch of whores with syphilis and brought them into the Guatemalan prison system to infect criminally insane people with syphilis. The test subjects had absolutely no idea they were test subjects.

Fun!

Ostensibly, they wanted to see what could be done to prevent syphilis from spreading. Then, when that didn't work, they wanted to see what could be done to better treat syphilis.

In the end, syphilis wins!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more: US sorry over deliberate sex infections in Guatemala(bbc)

Thats funny, it didn't taste like syphilis...

Congress is done! All problems solved...

2010-09-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

Lets put on a show to celebrate!

Seriously though... I am truly stumped.

In an effort to bring attention to a matter that is already quite in the public's awareness, Congresswoman Zoe Lofgren invited and Congressman John Conyers authorized Stehpen Colbert to testify before the immigration subcommittee. The 'testimony' was based on the fact that Stephen supposedly spent a day picking vegetables with immigrants.

1.) You don't need to draw attention to the issue. Maybe you need to draw attention to a potential solution, but they don't have one. That wasn't their intent. Instead, they've highlighted their cluelessness.
2.) You don't use the floor of the Congress of the United States as a stage for comedians. I think Stephen is a comedic genius, and I love his character, but ... ... I mean, come on! The White House Correspondent's Dinner is bad enough, but at least that is an annual event designed for laughter at our government's expense.
3.) Congress ought to stop bringing in cable network stars, baseball stars, and other ridiculous celebrities and focus on the fucking job they are there to do. Yeah, its not an easy job, but thats precisely why we can't have them spending their time booking a goddamn talent show.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more:
Stephen Colbert’s Congress visit called ‘sad commentary’(bh)
Colbert testifies to U.S. Congress(ifp)

Party in Hertfordshire!

2010-09-21T16:31:00.000-07:00

Now here's a real bang up use of your tax dollars:
Extra police patrols to make sure people don't show up to a 15 year old girls birthday party.

But wait... How can this possibly be an acceptable use of police time?

When 21,000 of the 15 invited guests RSVPd, they thought they'd plan ahead.

But wait... How can 21,000 people RSVP if she only invited 15?

Because she couldn't just send out invitations. Oh no, that is just not how this generation does it. Instead, they invite everyone via Facebook! But what a lot have come to realize is that just because you want all your friends to know doesn't mean you have to click the 'public event' check box.

Some would blame Facebook's crazy privacy settings, but it is just that simple. If you aren't inviting the general public to your shindig, don't click the public event check box.

THIS is whyHERTFORDSHIREANSpaytaxes.

read more: Girl's horror as 21,000 RSVP Facebook party invite(bbc)

Church sues state

2010-08-22T06:27:00.000-07:00

The Pilgrim Baptist Church in Chicago is suing the state of Illinois over the promises of Rod 'Only Innocent People Appear on 'The View'' Blagojevich.
After all, they had a fire. And why should they be responsible for covering their own damages when they can just turn to the state? Is not like there is anything in the constitution guaranteeing the separation of church and state...

Here's a few things that tickles my brain in a bad way:
1.) They were promised $1 MILLION even though the damages totaled $65,015.
2.) The $1 MILLION was still given out, but it was given to a PRIVATE school that was leasing the area of the church that had the fire. (Because private schools benefit everyone, not just the parents that can afford to send their kids there.)
3.) I mean really... The state has to pay to defend itself because a corrupt governor made a promise to a church? Like a governor has any business promising statewide tax funds to a small church in an urban area that is many hours away from most of the residents of the state?

If this works out for them, I think I'll drop my homeowner's insurance and sue the state for damages when it burns down.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Church sues Illinois Department of Commerce and Economic Opportunity(wgn)

I miss mom... But I don't miss her social security!

2010-08-21T01:45:00.000-07:00

This has been going on for awhile, and I'm sure its far from over....

Japan has over 40,000 folks that are over 100 years old. Or so their social security rolls would have you believe.

As it turns out, moving back in with your dead parents can turn into a healthy living in Japan.

The first story I saw was when some city council members thought they'd cash in on a local photo op by congratulating Sogen 'I'm Not Dead Yet' Kato for turning 111. But the family resisted saying that the old fellow had locked himself into a room to be a living Buddha. The councilmen were having none of this and had the police force their way in where they found the mummified remains of Sogen, who had been dead for many years.
The family had collected over $109,000 off of Sogen's pension.

Then there were a few more stories. Like the one about the woman who is still collecting her payments at an address that was turned to a park in 1981.

Now they busted a dude that has been carrying around his mom's remains in a backpack. Because he couldn't afford her funeral, he thought he'd keep her around and collect her checks. He describes how he washed the body for awhile then eventually broke her into pieces and loaded her into the backpack.

In all, there are more than 200 folks over the age of 100 that are collecting checks but otherwise cannot be found.

THIS is whyjapanesepaytaxes.

PS - You know we're gonna have a bunch of this ourselves now that the boomers are aging and the kids are moving back home...

read more:
Almost 200 centenarians 'missing' in Japan(bbc)
Tokyo's 'oldest woman' is missing(bbc)
Tokyo's 'oldest man' was a corpse(bbc)

Federal Beareau of Not Investigating

2010-08-03T13:01:00.001-07:00

For all the warnings of mis-information at Wikipedia, they sure seem to have their facts together about some legal issues. Well, they at least have a more accurate understanding of copyright laws than the FBI. Not that we'd expect the federal government's premiere law enforcement agency to understand the laws they try to enforce...

Last month, the FBI decided to send Wikipedia a cease and desist order for having a high resolution version of the FBI seal available for download on their site. They quoted a law about the illegality of displaying their seal. Here's the actual law they took a shot at quoting.*
Wikipedia promptly returned a letter, with an ACTUAL quote from the same law the FBI tried using against them. As it turns out, not only is Wikipedia not breaking the law, but they point out that they are more than happy to argue this one out in court. They have this confidence because unlike the FBI, these guys did an investigation and know they are in the right.

No small part of what chaps me on this waste of federal man hours is the fact that their investigation was as thorough as you would expect from an incompetent investigative agency. Unless Wikipedia has some sort of special lack of rights, you have to wonder why the following sites did not receive similar threats of legal action:
Encyclopedia Britannica
New York Metro
and I found at least 2 seals available amongst the documents at fbi.gov (to be fair, none of the seals on their site are high resolution, but any chump with access to photoshop could certainly use this to do as much damage as one might do with the high resolution version...)

Who would you rather have a good understanding of the law of the land - the police or a not-for-profit web site...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more: F.B.I., Challenging Use of Seal, Gets Back a Primer on the Law(nyt)

Can't golf today, gotta pick up my welfare check!

2010-07-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

Phillip 'Tiger' Bond decided he had had enough of the rat race we call life and found himself a way out: Collecting disability from the government.

Of course, just because he was *ahem* unable to work for a living doesn't mean he had to stop golfing several times a week. After all, what is the point in not being able to work if you can't enjoy it?

He went so far as to compete in several golf tournaments.

He got £36,000 before investigators were able to film him on the links.

Not only did the British government give him £36k, but they also had to investigate, prosecute, and now house Mr. Bond for the next 7 months... (Which is all cheaper than continuing to pay him disability)

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.

Read more:Disability benefit fraudster filmed playing golf jailed(bbc)

Fleeting explative, prolonged debate

2010-07-18T21:21:00.000-07:00

After all the racket from the horrors of much of the free world getting a glimpse of Janet Jackson's nipple, we've come to find out: It was OK because the FCC has been inconsistent and unpredictable in the enforcement of its own rules.

What a good use of our time on this matter so far!

The recent case was delayed several hours before they found the tape of Janet's nipple in Scalia's chambers.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Read More:Court Strikes Down FCC Indecency Policy(npr)
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2009/05/lets-re-examine-that-nipple.html
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2009/04/save-us-from-bono.html
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2008/11/did-i-tell-you-one-about-judge-that.html

Dick's Pump

2010-07-18T21:09:00.000-07:00

We had to buy Uncle Dick another pump for his heart.

After all, we would want him to continue to undergo "increasing congestive heart failure."

Yes. It appears his heart fails frequently. So they are slowly rebuilding his heart out of mechanical pieces. We have the technology, we can do this.

On your dime.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

learn more:Cheney Recuperating From Heart Surgery(npr)
he was just in the hospital in february

Nothing to see here... Move along now

2010-07-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

A few taxpayer dollars at work here...

How to handle piracy the efficient way

2010-05-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

Now THIS is how you handle piracy:

1.) Get your boat hijacked by people who think the best way to get what they want in this world is to take it from others.
2.) Make sure your boat is being run by people that are able to disable the boat and lock themselves into a panic room.
3.) As the pirates drift helplessly on a boat they can't run, you are relieved of 'negotiating' with them, as they actually have no control over you, your people, or your cargo. Simply hop on board and start shooting or arresting.

Here's where most of us get it wrong:
4.) Feed, clothe, and shelter the pirates for months and months to come while waiting to put them to justice.
5.) Put them on trial in your country, or find a local country to do your dirty work for you in exchange for 'aid.'
6.) Incarcerate them for the duration of their sentence. Make sure they get health care, room, board, and maybe even access to an education.

Here's where Russian efficiency takes it to a new level:
4.) Put them on an inflatable raft and drop them off where you picked them up - in the MIDDLE of the ocean. Perhaps raise a glass and chuckle at the silly pirates as they drift off into the moonlight and their almost certain demise.

You don't owe them a ride home. Hell, some would say they're lucky you wasted an inflatable life raft on them.

THIS is howrussianssavetaxes.

read more: Freed Somali pirates 'probably died' - Russian source (bbc)

Live by the Train, Die by the Train

2010-05-07T20:56:00.000-07:00

After 17 years at the helm of Chicago's Metra, Executive Director Phil 'All Aboard' Pagano put the employee's pamphlet on dealing with a suicide on the track in his breast pocket and leapt in front of a speeding Metra train.

It seems the investigation was almost over. I think we know the verdict.

As it turns out, Metra STILL doesn't give out employee bonuses. Well, except for the $56k bonus the boss got last year.

Imagine. Ending a perfectly fine and fairly wealthy life over $56,000.

I like picturing a scene from Hollywood, noble yet sad.
A train speeds down the tracks surrounded by Illinois farm fields - a proud yet apparently sad man straightens his suit in the mirror making sure everything is just so.
The train speeds along with more and more buildings whizzing by, the man takes long sad walk to the train station.
A close up of the eyes, the train speeds toward the station...

2010-04-24T10:23:00.000-07:00

Chip Bok

Separation of church and... I think we've heard this one before

2010-04-19T20:05:00.000-07:00

Just going to cover it briefly by broadly summarizing to suit my needs:
The Supreme Court is hearing a case on whether or not a public university should be forced to provide a bit of financial support to a Christian group that violates university rules by not allowing gay folk into their club.
Yes, this church group is suing because they aren't being given their fair share of government funding.
Thank God there is no separation of church and state.

Antonin 'Nipple Fan' Scalia was most eloquent in his argument:
"Frankly, one reason why I am inclined to think this is pretextual is that it is so weird ... to require this Christian society to allow atheists not just to join, but to conduct Bible classes, right? That's crazy!"
At which point he promptly took another hit off his hookah and mumbled to himself "Just crazy man. Crazy."

Yes. Lets give them public funding so they can fend off the crazy atheists trying to teach their bible classes...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Court Weighs Rights Of Campus Religious Groups(npr)

Overzealous

2010-04-04T02:48:00.000-07:00

A 12 year old girl got caught writing on her desk at school with a marker. Her overzealous teacher summarily dragged her to the overzealous principal's office who decided only the police could properly handle such an outrage. When the overzealous officers arrived, they cuffed her and did a perp walk out to the car. She was tried and convicted in a 'Family Court', sentenced to 8 hours of community service and an essay about what she's learned from the ordeal.

Having been chapped from being so spanked, our little graffiti artist got her overzealous father to call some overzealous lawyers to sue both the school district and police department. All the pain and suffering endured by this poor girl must be worth at least $1 MILLION. After all, she was in custody almost the whole day!

The head lawyer in the case Joseph "Opportunity Knocks" Rosenthal, wants to be clear: "We want to stop this from happening to other young children in the future."
Because it has nothing to do with the MILLION bucks...

Overzealous government staffers open the door for overzealous lawyers. And I haven't even mentioned the janitor's time involved in cleaning the desk...

THIS is whynewyorkerspaytaxes.

read more: US girl sues for $1m over arrest for desk scribble(bbc)

Police lineup

2010-03-29T19:41:00.000-07:00

I don't have the back story. You really don't need one to see a small mountain of tax dollars at work.

Roadkill revival

2010-03-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

Today's Everyday Hero comes from Brookville, Pennsylvania, near Punxsutawney. It was in this area that Donald "Raisin' the Dead" Wolfe tried to save a poor helpless animal deciding mouth to mouth resuscitation was the only way to save a possum that had been roadkill for days. I'm not sure if the mouth to mouth was before or after he held a one man seance to bring the poor rotting critter back to life, but he certainly tried everything he could.

Of course, you can't just leave dumb ass drunks making out with dead animals hang out by a highway and the police had to get involved. Rather than do whatever it is the police do in the Punxsutawney area on an average Thursday night, they spent this one arresting Don, gathering eye witness reports and talking to the media. Thankfully, I'm sure Donnie will also get his day in court. Because, you know, they didn't have anything better to do either...

THIS is whyPENNSYLVANIANSpaytaxes.

Read more: Police: Drunk Pa. man tried to revive dead opossum(ap)

Say you're sorry with cheescake

2010-03-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

A visit and apology from the New York Police Commissioner, a cheesecake, and countless man hours harassing an elderly couple are just some of the unexpected costs of an IT glitch.

Rose and Walter Martin were visited by the police 50 times in the last eight years because their address had been randomly entered during the testing phase of a new 'crime tracking' system. Having never correctly purged the information, the police were fed the same bad information each time and blindly followed their orders.

Rather than investing the money in better paid and well-trained officers and investigators, the city has found it much easier to just buy a computer that randomly spits out addresses for them to bust in on. I'll bet they call this system The Judge and it automatically prints out a signed search warrant with each address it provides.

Screaming "Police! Open Up!" at 80 year old folks rather than investigating crime...

THIS is whyNEWYORKERSpaytaxes.

Fruitful use of prisons

2010-03-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

Dubai has sentenced two people to 3 months in jail for sexting. They were planning on having an affair, which is illegal there. Had there been evidence of an actual affair, they would have been in jail a lot longer...

I wondered how the morality police got ahold of these text messages. Turns out they were used as evidence in the woman's divorce proceedings.

A nice court case and some room and board for those audacious enough to send lusty text messages...

THIS is whyDUBIANSpaytaxes

read more: Dubai jails Indian pair for 'sexy texts' (bbc)

Alaska v The Environment

2010-03-12T04:46:00.000-08:00

You'll remember Bush's bittersweet move to simultaneously point out that even though polar bears are a threatened species because they are losing their natural habitat to global warming there is nothing can be done to save them because no one can sue the mega polluters to deal with the problem. Good times...

Since then, the State of Alaska has been suing to strip the polar bears of their protected status. I'm not sure what their logic is, but apparently having the bears as a protected species is a matter of State interest that deserves a significant amount of its attorneys' attention.

But that is not why I am writing. As it turns out, environmentalists have been more successful at eliminating the special 'no one's fault' rule than Alaska has been at eliminating the threatened species status of the bears. Soon a judge will be making the ruling and it appears that the unique protection against lawsuits will be eliminated and this pisses Alaska off.

So, last month, the State of Alaska approved $1.5 MILLION to develop a campaign to gain broad support from the rest of the country to let the bears perish unchecked.

It must be nice to be the most federally supported state in the Union because it leaves a lot of money lying around to fight the federal government!

THIS is whyALASKANSpaytaxes.

Xe Blackwater

2010-03-06T00:03:00.000-08:00

The folks at Blackwater, who changed their name to Xe to help their PR situation after their guards opened fire on a bunch of defenseless Iraqis in 2007, killing 17, are under review again.

Apparently, changing their name to Xe did not teach their guards that they are not above the law. Which is, of course, contrary to their training, so I'm not sure why they would see it any other way.

Now, due to a host of complaints coming out of Afghanistan our senate has to yet again review and deal with Xe.

Worry not, Xe fans, as they are well protected by the Pentagon. A spokesman for the Pentagon decided he knew better than our senators and any investigation they might conduct. He explained that Xe cannot be cut off from receiving our taxpayer dollars because they are one of the few firms willing to work in Afghanistan. Why even bother to look into the complaints? What would you rather have, dead civilians or unemployed bodyguards? I certainly don't think we want these guys in the unemployment lines, people could get hurt!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Somethings fishy here

2010-03-05T16:54:00.001-08:00

And it ain't just Antoine Goetschel's clients.

Seriously. The guy defended a dead Pike in court. And dogs, cats, guinea pigs, cows, horses and sheep. (I don't suspect the sheep was involved in a rape case, but I have no evidence either way...)

No big deal, right? Some hippy lawyer has decided to enjoy his wealth by taking on animal cruelty cases pro bono, right? Sure, he's clogging Switzerland's court system with cases that ought to be handled in other ways, but at least he's not government funded, right?

The hell you say.

Nope. Funded entirely by the government, this guy sued a fisherman because it was reported that the fisherman took 10 minutes to bring the fish in and kill it. To no one's surprise, he had his ass handed to him on this case. However, not only is he wasting a shit ton of a citizens and several government employees time with this nonsense, but he is taking a salary and a pension for this nonsense too. Not to count the allowance he surely has for staffing his office.

And this is all brought up because he thinks that he can't work alone. Oh no. He thinks the Swiss need a fucking mountain of these guys. Sort of a new D.A.s office. Eventually, they'll probably be bringing about involuntary manslaughter charges against everyone who hits a deer with their car. You better hope the deer is resuscitated or you're spending time behind bars.

I'll bet the Swiss even paid for a public defendant for the fisherman.

Just think... A story about overpaid and under worked lawyers milking the system for all its worth that didn't originate in the U.S. Yay!

THIS is whytheSWISSpaytaxes

read more: Swiss ask whether animals need lawyers (bbc)

Peeling back the Band Aid

2010-03-04T17:09:00.000-08:00

Get ready to have your stomach turned. But at least yours is full...

You all (30s and older) will remember the 1985 Band Aid and other relief efforts pursued by governments and other organizations around the globe to help alleviate the 1984-85 droughts in Ethiopia that left most Ethiopians malnourished if they weren't one of the 1 MILLION who starved to death. A host of jokes about sandwiches and Ethiopians followed, but many Ethiopians were saved by these individual and government donations.

What you won't remember:
At the direction of the CIA (they deny it, of course) hundreds of MILLIONS of dollars from these efforts were siphoned off into rebel groups who bought weapons to fight the Russian backed Ethiopian government of the time.

Here's some key information that will set your stomach to turning:

In one instance, a member of Christian Aid bought sacks of grain inside of Ethiopia worth $500 MILLION. Underneath the handful of grain sacks that Christian Aid inspected were many more sacks of fine Ethiopian sand. Yum!

The man who swindled Christian Aid into spending all this money on sand, Meles Zenawi, went on to become Ethiopia's prime minister in 1991.

He remains the PM to this very day in spite of having used money intended to help his fellow citizens to kill them with guns instead.

The deputy head of the CIA at the time sought to "impose ever stiffer costs on the Soviet Union for its Third World adventurism." What better way to do this than sell bags of sand to aid groups in order to use the money to buy guns? (I'll bet many of those guns were bought from the U.S.)

The deputy head of the CIA at the time was none other than our very own Secratary of Defense, Robert Gates. He's no Prime Minister of a third world country, but he has certainly been well rewarded for his career choices.

I can't even sum this one up in a quick snide sentence. As an American citizen, I apologize to the world...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Ethiopia famine aid 'spent on weapons'(bbc)

Visit Beautiful Afghanistan!

2010-02-25T12:41:00.001-08:00

Seriously... When are people going to learn that war zone does not equal vacation destination?

Between multiple people trying to do one man protests, Journalists thinking they can get the scoop, and the doorknobs hiking in Iraq[n], the State Departments of the world are being run ragged just trying to rescue their citizens from their own actions.

Now there is a Scotsman trying to set up a vacation company (bbc) that will take you mountain climbing in Afghanistan. Don't get me wrong, its in a relatively safe part of Afghanistan, and they sure could use the tourism, but... ...

All I'm saying is that anyone gets abducted on one these vacations, their home government really needs to let them stay hostages. If someone really wants to climb a mountain on their vacation, there are a whole bunch of mountain ranges that are NOT IN A WAR ZONE!

Rescuing mis-guided citizens from their own actions...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

More surgery for Dick!

2010-02-22T18:23:00.000-08:00

Ex-Vice President Cheney in hospital with chest pains(bbc)

I'm only going to say one thing:
We've spent more taxpayer dollars on heart surgeries for this guy than some of us will pay in for our entire lives.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Big brother - big poisoner

2010-02-19T14:28:00.000-08:00

Its a story from history. You can read it (slate) if you'd like: The Chemist's War

In a sentence:
During prohibition the federal government undertook a campaign to poison and kill citizenry audacious enough to drink thinking they deserved it and send a message to all that drinking is a mistake.

Nice.

THIS is whyourgrandfatherspaytaxes.

A laptop for every child

2010-02-19T13:07:00.000-08:00

'Cause I wanna see 'em naked!

A school district in Pennsylvania was forward thinking enough to secure funding for a laptop for every child in school. This gave the children the opportunity to access the school's and other Internet resources 24 hours a day. I suppose there are many who were unhappy to hear about their tax dollars at work in this way but at the end of the day, its all about the kids.

What the school district failed to point out is that they had a tracking device installed into each machine that gave the administration the opportunity to access the web cam and screen shots of the computer at any time, anywhere. Should your daughter forget to shut down her laptop before drying off after a shower, ol' Mr. Weatherbee could be right there snapping still photos for his collection.

The school is bending over backwards to explain that the tracking devices were only installed into the machines in case of theft or 'lost' laptops. They even have the balls to say that this is the only way these tracking devices have ever been used. How is it that certain teachers are able to scold the children for "engaging in improper behavior in [their] home" if they've never had an opportunity to see inside their home?

One of the creepiest parts for me: It seems pretty obvious that the teachers were made aware of this device and even trained on its usage and passwords. Its not that the tracking system was under lock and key waiting for the police to get called in on a stolen laptop. No. These kids are being watched by teachers after hours, in their homes, with no provocation, and no probable cause.

Watching our teenagers. Closely...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more:US school accused of web spying(bbc)

Kinder-gefängnis

2010-02-17T14:09:00.000-08:00

Ok... I used an online translation source and have no idea if that title is accurate. My goal was kinder-prison/prison for children.
I was referring to the whole of Germany, or at least Berlin. And, its not that they lock up their children, its that they've turned the kids' entire existence into an exercise in being German.

In a maverick move, Berlin has decided that it is "fundamentally and socially tolerable" for children to shout, squeal, or otherwise express their glee at being a child.

Yes. Each of Germany's 16 states has a noise pollution law on the books. Only church bells, emergency sirens, snow plows and tractors have been considered an exception to these rules. Rules which have led to hundreds of complaints each year about noisy kindergartens and playgrounds as well as closed down day care centers.

Because, you know, anyone living near a pre-school or playground downtown in the fourth largest city in Europe ought to be able to have a little quiet time. And by a little, I mean I better not EVER hear the innocent sounds of a child's laughter nearby or I'm calling the cops.

While removing your child's gag, be sure to keep it close by. You must continue to respect the official quiet time at night and all day Sunday.

Legislating the audible level of its children...

THIS is whyGERMANSpaytaxes.

read more: Noisy children no longer verboten in Berlin(bbc)

Buzz kill

2010-02-17T09:38:00.000-08:00

Again, I'll bet a lot of folks have used that post title recently...

The folks at Epic (Electronic Privacy Information Centre) are lobbying the FTC to spank Google over their ridiculous release of Buzz. Though going to the FTC to file paperwork and start investigations will incur a significant cost to our government, I couldn't agree with their points more.
Some people, myself included, signed up for gmail because we wanted to take advantage of a great e-mail service.
Some people, myself included, have not signed up for Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, or other social media networks because we value our privacy and see no need to publicly lay out the details, mundane or otherwise, of our lives. (Some of us, myself included, simply seek to avoid being found by maniacal exes that would show up on our doorsteps the minute our current addresses became public knowledge)

I know that gmail is free and I know that Google can do whatever it likes to the account. I appreciate all they provide to me for no additional cost aside from creepy ads everywhere. But to suddenly take my saved contacts or frequently e-mailed addresses and put them up in a public forum for all to see is a ridiculous and ignorant thing to do.

But is it something the government needs to get involved in? I'm not so sure. If I was so chapped that I just couldn't deal with it anymore, I am more than welcome to delete both my Buzz and Gmail accounts right now.

Even more astounding, here is a quote from the article I read(bbc) with bold italics on a key phrase:
The complaint has also asked the FTC to "require Google to provide notice to and request consent from Gmail users before making material changes to their privacy policy in future, and seek appropriate injunctive and compensatory relief".
Somebody is going to have to explain to me: who deserves to get compensated for this? I wonder if this sets a precedence where those people who just had their wives introduced to their mistresses can sue Google for privacy infringement seeking damages to cover the divorce?

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Tracking our citizens

2010-02-13T07:23:00.000-08:00

The government has gone to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 3rd Circuit in Philadelphia to defend its rights to your cell phone's whereabouts. They are stridently defending their right to know where your cell phone has been and where it is right now without a search warrant or any oversight whatsoever.

You know whats worse? I heard this story on Marketplace, got to thinking, and started this post. As I typed out 'The government has' I paused. I wanted to be more specific and tell you what part of the government, what department was spending their money and wasting the courts time exercising their right to your privacy. The thing is, I couldn't easily find out who it was. The story I heard, the story as Fox tells it, the story at Reuters, Press TV, etc. all tell a story about The Government or A Government Petition or The Government Appeals etc. Some mention the DEA or the FBI, but this is only when they talk about who will take advantage of the ruling if it is allowed, not who is making the case.

You mean to tell me the whole damn government needs to know where I am and where I've been?

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Total recall

2010-02-13T07:05:00.000-08:00

I'm sure that title has been used a lot lately...

This post is mainly to point out the tiny little add on recall of 8,000 Tacoma Trucks for faulty front drive shafts (bbc). Didn't want it to get missed it having been announced at the end of the week with no one paying attention.

But a big thanks to the media for whipping this thing into a frenzy that will surely score some more taxpayer bucks over at National Highway Traffic Safety Administration so they can get involved in matters like these that have been pretty well handled. Sure, we might like to see Toyota act a bit quicker, but I'd say they've handled it like the pros they are.

And for the most part, this has been a rather risk free recall. We all mourn those who passed, but we also all know the inherent risks in strapping yourself into a box on wheels going around at 65 miles per hour. Its not like Toyota was trying to kill people... If the highly skilled engineers at Toyota didn't see an issue when designing and producing the vehicle, the engineers at NHTSA likely would have also missed it during a total vehicle inspection.

Adding more layers of bureaucratic red tape...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.