Snails pace

In order to save a mess of rare snails from a new coal mining site in New Zealand, the Department of Conservation decided to step in and get the killing off of these creatures done more efficiently.

And you thought they were going to try to save them...

They went around the site of the future coal mine and gathered up over 6,000 snails and moved them to climate controlled rooms where they went to work getting the little buggers to breed. (Mood lighting, Barry White and plenty of chocolate seemed to do the trick)

Unfortunately, the room that contained the 'Powelliphanta giant land snails' had a technical glitch and all 800 snails were frozen solid.

No wonder they're rare...

THIS is whyNEWZEALANDERSpaytaxes.
read more: Mishap freezes to death 800 rare New Zealand snails(bbc)

I'm glad mommy and daddy are safe in their government storage facility. Yay!

Alaska v The Environment

You'll remember Bush's bittersweet move to simultaneously point out that even though polar bears are a threatened species because they are losing their natural habitat to global warming there is nothing can be done to save them because no one can sue the mega polluters to deal with the problem. Good times...

Since then, the State of Alaska has been suing to strip the polar bears of their protected status. I'm not sure what their logic is, but apparently having the bears as a protected species is a matter of State interest that deserves a significant amount of its attorneys' attention.

But that is not why I am writing. As it turns out, environmentalists have been more successful at eliminating the special 'no one's fault' rule than Alaska has been at eliminating the threatened species status of the bears. Soon a judge will be making the ruling and it appears that the unique protection against lawsuits will be eliminated and this pisses Alaska off.

So, last month, the State of Alaska approved $1.5 MILLION to develop a campaign to gain broad support from the rest of the country to let the bears perish unchecked.

It must be nice to be the most federally supported state in the Union because it leaves a lot of money lying around to fight the federal government!

THIS is whyALASKANSpaytaxes.

All the love with none of the guilt and blame

While a bunch of the aid going to Haiti is already being funded by taxpayer's around the world, I found it interesting to see a 'new' 'charity' come available from the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason & Science for this one at Non-Believers Giving Aid.

Its an interesting option for those of us who don't feel its necessary to bring god into every aspect of daily life and don't feel it necessary to provide guilt along with their helping hand.
(Pat Robertson claims this earthquake was caused by a large voodoo ceremony held by rebellious slaves on Aug. 14, 1791. Took 'im 219 years to make up for it, but Pat's God showed them whats what when it comes to voodoo...)

I'll also take a moment to reflect upon the fact that for all the horrible and/or pointless things we spend our taxes on, it all seems almost worth it to have an organization like our government where we can rapidly respond to those in need. Yes, from time to time, I'm proud to be a taxpayer.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Fish Kill before the fish get killed

One of my biggest pet peeves is when the government sues itself. In this particular situation, it is two different governments, but we're pretty much supposed to be on the same side.

Michigan is going to sue Illinois to demand closure of the Chicago locks until the Asian Carp problem is cleared up in Illinois' waterways.

First off, they have a valid point. Everything that can be done should be done to prevent the asian carp problem, even if it costs industry big money. While Illinois has spent plenty of money on trying to contain the problem, including a fish kill last night and a high tech system that was supposed to shock the fish into turning back, the problem is real.

And of course we all know that Illinois lacks the political will to do something Chicago doesn't want to do.

But do we really have to pay a bunch of lawyers to figure it out for us? Shouldn't we instead spend the same amount of money and bring the two states' Departments of Natural Resources together? Maybe get some federal employees besides judges involved?

A quote from the article below:
A spokesperson for the Illinois Department of Natural Resources says they are aware of the potential legal action but will "let the lawyers sort it out."

Great! The DNR says, fuck it. We give up.

Are we really so incompetent as a society? Are we going to let the natural ecosystems of the largest freshwater lakes on the planet be destroyed? Because an invasive species of carp was imported to eat algae out of the Gulf of Mexico?
You're serious. To solve the problem we're going to let lawyers get rich off the government while dragging out the case for as many billable hours as possible? While various agencies that ought to take charge of the situation play a game of 'Not It'?

And people wonder why I have little faith in humanity...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Michigan Considering Lawsuit Against Illinois Over Asian Carp Spread(wkzo)

Clean Air Iowa

Millions of tons of concrete and blacktop poured on the Earths surface for our convenience.
Check.

Millions of tons of CO2 in the atmosphere to bring that concrete, dig a path, and pour it for our convenience.
Check.

Millions of tons of CO2 in the atmosphere from commuters, road trippers, semi trucks, and people bringing their vacation RVs that could house several 3rd world families.
Check.

BUT DON'T YOU DARE SMOKE A FUCKING CIGARETTE IN AN OPEN-AIR REST AREA ON THE SIDE OF THE INTERSTATE IN IOWA! That shit could kill you!

Yes. The State Legislature of Iowa has so little to do, it took the time to write, debate, and pass a law banning cigarette smoking in rest areas along the Interstates. Because, when they rest 100 yards from some of the busiest Interstate traffic in the country, they don't want to inhale air pollution.

Hell, there was probably more pollution emitted into the air when they manufactured, painted, transported and installed several of these signs in every rest area in the state.

But its the second hand smoke thats gonna get you...

THIS is whyIOWANSpaytaxes.

My cash, for your clunker

The Senate has approved another $2 BILLION for the CARS program. (read more)

Much like all the other schemes giving away the tax money we all pay to only a select few who qualify, this is getting ridiculous. Lucky are the douchebags who both purchased a shitty gas guzzling vehicle more than a year ago AND can afford to buy a new car now...
I, for one, could afford a new car now, especially with $4,500 of your money, but the piece of junk sable in my driveway, a true clunker, is rated at 19 miles per gallon, so I don't qualify.

For those of you who think we're saving the environment:
1.) In certain circumstances, businesses are getting the credit with as little as a 1 mile per gallon improvement in fuel economy over the traded in vehicle. (read more)
2.) I for one can't wait to find out that the entrepreneurial spirit amongst the car dealerships and scrap yards is alive and well in the U.S. as it is in Germany. They've been running their own Cash for Clunkers program for most of this year. This week, their law enforcement shut down their program after finding containers of 'clunkers' ready to ship to Africa to be re-sold. Rather than getting these clunkers off the road, we're simply putting them on other roads, and allowing the dealerships and scrap yards to double dip the profits. (read more)

For those of you who think we're saving our economy:
1.) Now that dealerships are moving their old inventory under this program, the price of vehicles is going up again, making it harder for most folks that can buy a car to get a great deal.
2.) I don't have facts and figures, but I heard a story on NPR that in Germany, Toyota has outsold all other vehicles in their cash for clunkers program. The statistics in the U.S. aren't yet available, but I'm sure its not all American made cars being sold.

Taking from many, giving to few...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Good riddance to the jaguar menace

I have a hard time putting a sarcastic spin on this one. I find it difficult to even try to be amusing. There is nothing amusing at the unspeakable incompetence that is this story reveals.

SF Gate (One of those online media outlets that will eventually replace newspapers because they hire actual journalists who go out and get stories (unlike us bloggers that read other people's stories and think we know something...)) has looked into the Arizona Department of Game & Fish moves to slaughter the last remaining Jaguar in Arizona.

Summary: (this will seem contrived, almost made up to make it sound worse than it is. However, these are the actions that were taken, and the explanations given by the DGF.)

1.) DGF 'unintentionally' live traps the Jaguar. By unintentionally, they mean that they baited the trap with the poop of a female zoo jaguar who was in heat. But, apparently they were hoping to catch a beaver or a bear, or ANYthing besides the jaguar. They were indeed quite surprised to find that a male stud of a jaguar was interested to find out where that scent of horny jaguar femme fatale was coming from. (This happens 15 days after receiving advice from wildlife veteranarians about how much sedatives it might take to immobilize a wild jaguar...)

2.) They put a tracking collar on the trapped jaguar and release it into the wild. (So far, this is OK. While it seems a bit cruel, this is an effective way to track wildlife movement. (But if this was the goal, why do they continue to claim that they wanted to trap anything besides the jaguar? Are we to believe they just happened to have the right sized tracking collar on them that day?))

3.) The DGF decides the jaguar was not moving as it is supposed to. They were apparently hoping to watch jaguar adventures on a grand scale filled with twists and turns and heart-stopping moments. Because it wasn't moving as it was supposed to, DGF decided there was only one thing to do: Hunt it down with a helicopter and shoot it with tranqs. (By hunt it down, I mean go to the homing beacon strapped to its neck. No actual hunting of any kind took place.)

4.) They then bring the tranq'd jaguar to the nearby [unamed] zoo. The zoo promptly claims that it was suffering from kidney failure. So they killed it. What else could be done?

5.) Local universities run a post mortem on the body and found a pair of what were fabulously functioning kidneys. That is, until the zoo killed the animal.

I wonder if the dumbshits at the zoo got some sort of a false positive on the kidney's because of the tranqulizers running through its system. 'Course, what would I know?

It drives you crazy! These guys got jobs with the government with just 1 mission in mind: Keep the Game & Fish in Arizona SAFE! Instead they go to extravagent lengths with taxpayer money to work on changing an endangered species into an extinct species!!!! WHAT THE HELL???

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

GM Strikes Again

I think I know why Wagoner needed to be fired.
I think I know why GM has failed and very possibly might truly fail.

Here's the latest 2010 model GM recently unveiled:
2009 New York Auto Show: 2010 GMC Terrain Makes World Debut(edmunds)
estimated 21 mpg in city driving and 30 mpg on the highway. The EPA has yet to certify those numbers.
[optional] engine is expected to deliver 18 mpg in city driving and 25 mpg on the highway.

A BRAND NEW gigantic SUV released by GM... Your bailout dollars at work!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

The TRUE threat

The US government has found the true threat at our Nation's borders: Vegetation. Apparently the plants along the border are guilty of aiding and abetting smugglers and have been sentenced to an immediate (this week) death by poison.

Border plants to be killed to reveal smugglers(hc)

1.1 Miles cost $2.1 MILLION. Once this has been proven effective, (I'm sure that regardless of the effectiveness it will be proven effective) they will move on to kill off the plants along a 130 miles stretch of the border.

Can you believe that poisoning the river between the US and Mexico is the answer our government gives to immigration and smuggling? I just don't get it!!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

P.S. - While convicted of no crimes, not even smuggling so much as a doobie, the fish, vegetation, and people downstream that falls ill or dies from this poison are what we in the industry like to call 'collateral damage.' Our bad!

Tennessee Valley Coal Swamp

TVA ash spill: Workers cleaning up, rebuilding infrastructure(kn)
TVA Coal Ash Spill in River near Harriman, Tennessee, Estimated at 500 Million Gallons Huge Environmental Disaster in Tennessee(ac)
The Tennessee Valley Authority, created and supported by the Federal Government for over 60 years (allowing it to thoroughly crush any private enterprise competition and draw in industry from other parts of the country because of its low electricity rates) has had a coal ash spill.

Around 1.7 MILLION CUBIC YARDS of spent coal ash, about 2/3 of the entire reservoir in question breached a levee system and has covered over 400 acres in a 4'-6' thick sludge river of, well, death. 15 homes were covered and at least 3 of those homes have already been declared unlivable. It has reached and dumped into the Emory River, and the TVA is hoping to be able to stop it from getting to the nearby clinch river with a temporary levee and a boom. (and we'll just pretend that none of the bad stuff could possibly proceed from the clinch to the rest of the upper Tennessee Drainage Basin. (The water supply for Chattanooga, and parts of alabama and kentucky))

This is the third time in 6 years this reservoir has released into the valley. Though, by far, this one has been the worst. The TVA has also had to replace a water main and re-build roads to some of those stranded in their homes. The Coast Guard, EPA, the State Department of Environment and Conservation, and I'm sure a whole host of other government agencies have been spending time and resources to deal with the aftermath.

Rest assured: The TVA has done a visual inspection of their other ash pond dikes.
Oh, and:"Coal ash contains mercury and dangerous heavy metals like lead and arsenic - materials found naturally in coal are concentrated in the ash."
and for perspective: this is 40 times bigger than the exxon valdeez spill. Yet the media is too busy covering shoplifting stories for the christmas season to really care...

Read the second story above for some great video links. And/or watch this one: Aerial footage: TVA storage pond breach in Harriman(kn) You really have to watch it to get an appreciation for just how bad this is.
(This guy has around 13 minutes of footage while flying over and around it...)(wbir)

THIS is whyipaytaxes.