What happened in Vegas...

... I actually kinda wish would have stayed in Vegas. It hurts to think about this one. It certainly puts my post about the Rockford Public School District's $18,000 conference at $1,285 a head in Chicago to shame...

The General Services Administration, the facilities managers of the US Government (buildings, leases, rentals, properties, etc.), is a group you'd expect to be pretty well versed on fiscal restraint and finding deals to be had. But, OH NO... Instead, they had their Western Regions Training Conference in Vegas, spending 2,783 taxpayer dollars a head for a total cost of $835,000. These 300 people were treated to:

• A mind reader - 3,200 taxpayer dollars
• A commemorative coin set in velvet boxes - 6,300 taxpayer dollars
• A training exercise to build a bicycle - 75,000 taxpayer dollars
• Canteens, key chains and t-shirts - 6,000 taxpayer dollars
• A clown (I'd love to know what he was paid)
• A comedian (ditto)
• Awards for a participant talent show held as an excuse to treat everyone to dinner
• Treating everyone to dinner (But let's be reasonable here. Even if they had to expense their own meals, they were still government employees expensing their meals to the taxpayers...)

Setting this kind of baby up costs money too:

• Airfare and lodging sending the planners on six trips to the venue to set it up - 147,000 taxpayer dollars (Because, you know, you can't set this sort of beauty up over the phone)
• A finder's fee to book this place that can't even remotely set up a conference - 12,000 taxpayer dollars

One of the worst parts? The news broke THIS WEEK about a conference that happened 18 months ago! That means the motherfuckers spending this kind of money as 'servants' of the public had a good solid run at just covering this up and making it go away. You gotta ask yourself, how much of this shit are they getting away with?

Luckily a hero from within the GSA reported this gross misappropriation of taxpayer dollars. Thank you, GSA Employee. Thank you.

So... What exactly were they being trained for again???

THIS is whyipaytaxes...

read more:GSA chief gone, but fallout continues in wake of lavish convention expense(cnn)

I first heard it:Obama Administration Tripped Up By GSA's Vegas Spending Scandal(npr)

Oklahoma takes the bull by the horns

Finally, the Oklahoma state government is taking care of the big problems. None of this sissy budget balancing for them. After all, how can a state possibly go on without an official state motto?

They do have a state slogan on the state seal, but who the heck can get up in the morning to "Labor Omnia Vincit" (Labor Conquers All Things)? Screw that bullshit, they need a good solid American motto they can feel proud of. Something original.

In God We Trust.
YEEEEEE HAAAAWWWW! Now that's a motto that will put hair on your chest.

At least the article I read quoted State Rep. Ryan "Are you fucking kidding me?" Kiesel in saying this resolution is a "frivolous waste of legislative time."

THIS is whyoklahomanspaytaxes.
read more:Oklahoma Could Soon Have New State Motto(koco)

Crack patrol

Its kinda like a light bulb joke, but the punchline kinda pisses you off...

Q: How many government agencies does it take to put a guy with $200 of crack on him in jail for 2 weeks?

A:

• Special Assistant United States Attorney, Justin Lightfoot
• the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) Task Force
• the Linn County Sheriff’s Office
• the Cedar Rapids Police Department
• the Marion Police Department
• the Iowa City Police Department
• the Clinton Police Department
• the Iowa Division of Narcotics Enforcement
• the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives
• the Sixth Judicial District Department of Correctional Services
• the Iowa National Guard

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Sometimes, I find the story already put together for me: How Many Law Enforcement Agencies Does it to Take to Prosecute One Man for Buying $200 Worth of Crack?(reason.com)

Unemployed gangs

$30,000 in unemployment benefits were provided to local gangs in Los Angeles on behalf of Anthony "can't find work in jail" Garcia.

Garcia wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box, having been arrested for a murder after having some of the evidence of the murder scene tattooed on his chest.

But he still proved to be too spry of a crook for the unemployment office to catch on to his scam that had family members collecting $1,600 per month from October 2008 to March of 2010.

Checks, balances, aww, forget it...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more: Father & Girlfriends of Inmate Arrested for $30,000 Unemployment Fraud(ktla)

Final exam

This Graphic brought to us by Americans Against The Tea Party.

THIS is whyfloridianspaytaxes.

Coffee, enemas and long distance prayer

Repost to share about the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine, a mostly unheard of branch of the National Institutes of Health:

Coffee Enemas, Aromatherapy, and Intercessory Prayer: Your Tax Dollars At Work

Their source:Federal center pays good money for suspect medicine(CT)

I don't know about you, but I think it is terrific that we've spent taxpayer dollars ($660,000(!)) on investigating whether or not long distance prayer can heal AIDS abroad. Its not like we're supposed to avoid using state money to further the cause of religions or anything crazy like that...

I do suppose the coffee enemas are understandable when you consider just how full of shit this particular branch of the government is...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Of the people, but not for the people

This is it, folks... We've lost control of our government.

You guys will remember this little thing we liked to call the TARP, right? Everybody got their britches in a bundle over the "unprecedented" amount of $700 BILLION to be loaned to Wall Street to ostensibly avoid worldwide economic collapse.. Nobody liked it, but at that time, Bush was the lamest of ducks with at least one foot out the door and something [supposedly] HAD to be done.

That the economy eventually collapsed in every realistic and measurable way is irrelevant, but I certainly had to bring it up.

Notice my use of the quotes around "unprecedented" in the paragraph above. I use these quotes because there was plenty of precedence. In fact, the very same banks we bailed out were already into us for a LOT more than $700 BILLION at that time!

Prior to the TARP, the Fed had already made loans to the banks at a total cost that amounted to $7.77 TRILLION! In your face, puny little $700 BILLION.

Bullet points. Too frustrated to make paragraphs:

Magnitude

• $7.7 TRILLION is more than half the value of everything our country produced that year
• Our 6 largest banks turned their share into $13 BILLION in profit
• Morgan Stanley alone borrowed enough ($107 BILLION) to pay off a tenth of nation's delinquent mortgages
• Bank of America took $91.4 BILLION of these secret loans while simultaneously taking $45 BILLION from the TARP funds
• Banks that were declared too big to fail grew even larger
  
• Our largest banks enjoyed more profits in the last 2.5 years than they did in the 8 years preceding the crisis
• All the while, they continue to spend MILLIONS lobbying to derail or weaken laws designed to keep them in check
  

Transparency

• The loans to the banks were undisclosed
  
• The profits earned by the banks were undisclosed
• Shareholders, the "owners" of the banks were not told (Where did the profits go?!?)
  
• Taxpayers, the people that have given the authority to the Fed to watch over our money were not told
• Congress, which was actively writing an overhaul to our financial regulatory system was not told
• These loans were provided with no protections or guarantees for the taxpayers
  

THEY LOANED OUR MONEY VALUED AT MORE THAN HALF OF EVERYTHING OUR COUNTRY CAN MAKE IN A YEAR TO PRIVATE COMPANIES WITHOUT EVER TELLING ANYONE! The Fed knew, the Bank Managers knew. Not even the owners of the banks knew!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more:Wall Street Banks Earned Billions In Profits Off $7.7 Trillion In Secret Fed Loans Made During The Financial Crisis(tp)

If this committee was 'Super', we're screwed

Bad news:

The congressional *ahem* "Super" Committee was unable to do as they were told and will not be proposing any suggestions regarding deficit reduction aside from the following advice:

Somebody should throw together some kind of a committee to figure this shit out!

Good news:

It was no one's fault! Feel free to vote for incumbents next year, because not one of the 12 people on the committee failed in their task. As it turns out, it was the other side that failed. Awesome!

Assembling a committee of professional politicians to solve a perpetual national crisis with a result of finger pointing and bullshit posturing...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Sarcasm-free TL;DR summary: Super committee convenes with only the advice that this problem should be dealt with, not ignored for future generations to fix and the Republicans blame the impasse on the Democrats who blame the impasse on the Republicans.

Our support of major utility companies

Just an interesting graph to share...

Not only are these 13 fabulous companies NOT paying a dime in taxes, but they are actually receiving our tax dollars to support their operations.

I suppose... With only $4.8 billion in profits, they need our tax money more than the schools do...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
Read more: You’re paying taxes, so why aren’t energy companies?(reuters)

Snails pace

In order to save a mess of rare snails from a new coal mining site in New Zealand, the Department of Conservation decided to step in and get the killing off of these creatures done more efficiently.

And you thought they were going to try to save them...

They went around the site of the future coal mine and gathered up over 6,000 snails and moved them to climate controlled rooms where they went to work getting the little buggers to breed. (Mood lighting, Barry White and plenty of chocolate seemed to do the trick)

Unfortunately, the room that contained the 'Powelliphanta giant land snails' had a technical glitch and all 800 snails were frozen solid.

No wonder they're rare...

THIS is whyNEWZEALANDERSpaytaxes.
read more: Mishap freezes to death 800 rare New Zealand snails(bbc)

I'm glad mommy and daddy are safe in their government storage facility. Yay!

Beauty we couldn't live without seeing again

Simon Says: "Fuck it. Tax 'em"

I ran into one of those stories that just twists my mind into a writhing heap of WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR?

I can tell that this was an incredibly expensive endeavor, but I have no idea how much of it was paid for by taxpayers. The work was done at Dundee University and I am assuming that this is a public university that is at least partially funded by taxes. If I am wrong and this story has no right being discussed in a blog about what our tax dollars are spent on, then I guess I'll make the karmic withdrawal. Either way, you can't tell me this money wouldn't have been more appreciated by starving children somewhere in Africa that could have used a school instead.

Adrienne 'Face Painter' Barker realized she was working on a completely useless skill set and was unable to unleash her talents on an unsuspecting business as an employee. So she undertook a project to re-create the face of an Archbishop that died in 1381. Apparently, this guy was a real pioneer in taxing peasants and had his ass handed to him during the Peasant's Revolt. By having his ass handed to him, I mean he was pulled from the Tower of London by an angry mob and had his head chopped off. (Which reminds me... Aren't we past due for another Peasant's Revolt?)

It was SO important to understand what the good Archbishop looked like that Adrienne wasn't going to just get some artists rendering done, oh no. Some excerpts of the process she undertook:
1.) used skeletal detail from the part-mummified skull to build up his facial features
2.) carry out an initial assessment of the skull to determine its age, sex and ancestry
3.) then made a series of 3D bronze resin casts of his head
4.) sculpted each muscle of the face and built this up on the cast
5.) adding a final layer which represents the skin

What drives me batty are a couple of key phrases in the story like her title of Forensic Artist. It comes down to two simple things: One, who cares and how is it important to be able to gaze upon the face of a fellow who died 630 years ago? Two, it is a model, a rendering, an interpretation - to use their term, a "reconstruction." Its not what the guy actually looked like. Period.

The bust will be on display in a church. I would hope, but doubt that it will remind the current Archbishop that he doesn't own the people just because that is how his bosses interpret their bibles.

And I exit with a quote from the artist herself:
"I hope people in Sudbury like what we've done but he's a strange looking fellow so it'll be interesting to see their reactions."

Indeed. I certainly hope they like it. And I really hope that you enjoy seeing their reactions. Otherwise, this will all have been very pointless...

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.
read more:Face of Simon of Sudbury revealed by forensic artist(bbc)

Bodies on the bus go round and round

Only because my bus driver label tag is underutilized, I present to you the story of a bus driver who killed 15 of his passengers on a bright March day.

Emergency personnel, cops, DAs, Governor Quomo, the National Transportation Safety Board, a Grand Jury, Judge Villegas, and the prison warden and guards all get involved because Ophadell 'I got this' Williams "was not only aware of what precautions to take but made a series of conscious decisions not to take them."

The very least you expect from your bus driver is for him or her to not kill you...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more: Driver in NY bus crash charged with deaths of 15 passengers(REU)

Has anyone seen my experimental aircraft?

Wherever you go, there we are.

I'm not sure exactly how much I spent on it or what it was for, but I bought an experimental aircraft and the Department of Defense lost it.

I guess I'll just have to build another one... How else can I attack any target on the planet in under an hour?

I won't even mention the rocket fuel needed to launch this sweet ride...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more:US military loses contact with hypersonic aircraft(bbc)

Cleanin up the streets

Your tax dollars at work Rockford!
Open wide, I think I see a little build up behind a molar.

The statue was built from donations, not taxpayer dollars. I would also assume the paint used by the vandal was not paid with taxpayer dollars, but that is far from guaranteed...

For the rest of the story, we see plenty of taxpayer dollars going to work.

1.) The statue, while commissioned from donations was placed, insured and is maintained by the parks department. (Yes, there is at least one rider in the city's insurance policy for this statue)
2.) The renaming of the park it stands in as further homage to the individual immortalized was taken care of by the parks department. (The individual immortalized is so honored for arranging fireworks displays and hanging christmas lights...)
3.) The city has a graffiti removal 'experts' team. This team is unable to fix this and had to call in an outside expert/vendor to analyze. This outside expert/vendor will also probably be the one to eventually clean it.
4.) The initial team of experts apparently wasn't called in until AFTER someone at the city was called in with a steamed water pressure washer. (shown above) Only then did they determine that the paint is automotive paint and ain't coming off without chemicals and sand blasters.
5.) The reason the government jumped into action prior to knowing what action was required is because there is a wedding this weekend in a nearby park. *gasp* We can't ruin the bride's special day booked in a public area by exposing her to what happens in public places!
6.) The tarp that will adorn this statue for the weekend also belongs to the parks department. At least it is a multi-use tarp and hopefully was not purchased just for this special occasion.

Nothing to see here, our city is pristine. Move along now.

7.) The police have been called in and are investigating. I imagine they have all their best men on the case.
8.) And a live report coming from a city employee downtown Rockford today reports seeing "the mayor, police chief, and about five cops surrounding the statue earlier today."

Vandalism riles up a city government real good...

THIS is whyrockfordianspaytaxes.
read more:Cleanup of Joe Marino statue in downtown Rockford is complicated(rrs)

2 for 1

Its that much better when the city has to pay to repair two cop cars for the same mistake.

Saving Private Ryan - The shopping list

A US plane fell apart over Libya. The two man crew ejected to safety.

But they were in a bad place and they had just crashed their ride.

In the events that followed, the various forces were involved

Consumed:
1 EA F15E Strike Eagle Fighter Jet (+ weapons)
2 EA 500 lb laser guided bombs

Deployed:
2 EA AV-8B Harriers
1 EA F16 Fighter Jet
1 EA KC-130 Fuel Tanker
2 EA MV-22 Ospreys
2 EA CH-53 Sea Stallion helicopters
1 EA Platoon of Quick Reaction Marines
1 EA Flight to undisclosed location in Europe

All that and we only saved one of the 2 guys. The other one was found by Libyan Rebels and kept safe until he could be flown out to the aforementioned undisclosed location.

Cost of doing business!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more:Timeline: U.S. forces hurried to rescue of two stranded airmen(cnn)

PS - Anyone wonder how the hell 2 laser guided bombs were consumed in a rescue mission? A group of Libyans were approaching one of the pilots, so one of the Harrier Jets dropped the bombs in between the Libyans and the pilot.
5 Libyans were injured by shrapnel from the explosion.
I did mention that the other pilot was saved by Libyans, right? Good thing we didn't bomb them too...

Those poor Chinese...

The UK has decided to stop giving its taxpayer's money to several poor countries such as China, Russia, and India.

Yeah. Until now, the worlds second largest economy was in dire need of your tax pounds more than your city government or local school.

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.
read more:UK 'to end direct aid to 16 countries'(bbc)

PS - They're just shortening the list of countries getting aid. Overall, they will give away more of your tax pounds than ever.

No one here, eh?

You may have seen some of the stories about countries frantically trying to evacuate their citizens from Libya. Oh the costs involved...

But a real champion crew from Canada have managed to earn the Least Valuable Rescue Flight Award. In spite of having 213 Canadians registered at their embassy as wanting to get the fuck out, this crew landed at Tripoli and took off again without picking ANYONE up.

While no one really knows anything yet, the only official response at this time is that they were unable to find any Canadians or citizens of 'like minded countries' waiting at the airport. I'd be willing to bet the crew never even got off the plane, staying only long enough to refuel for the flight home.

They also say the conditions on the ground were dangerous.
Yeah. We get that... Isn't that kinda the reason you went there in the first place?

Rescue flights saving themselves from the hostile territory they visit...

THIS is whycanadianspaytaxes.
read more:Canadian rescue plane leaves Tripoli with no passengers(bbc)

Feel the burn

Every single ambulance service in the UK has begun investing in everything from wider stretchers to specialized ambulances to better serve the morbidly obese sect.

I'm talking double wide ambulances with reinforced lift gates, heavy duty wheel chairs, lifting cushions and a hoist.

So put down that twinkie tons of fun, 'cause you're running up health care costs in more ways than your diabetes treatments...

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.

read more:Fat patients 'prompts ambulance fleet revamp'(bbc)

Inspection emergency: They're baaack!

And stronger than ever! (Back story in old post: Inspection emergency(wipt))
This time, they brought reinforcements.

Doule the idling pleasure for double the breathing fun!

Yes, it takes a fire truck AND an ambulance to get 10 blocks away to re-inspect a building. This time it took about 6 folks to complete the inspection.

And, I'm not kidding, its not that big of a building I work in:

Home sweet office

THIS is whyipaytaxes.