What happened in Vegas...

... I actually kinda wish would have stayed in Vegas. It hurts to think about this one. It certainly puts my post about the Rockford Public School District's $18,000 conference at $1,285 a head in Chicago to shame...

The General Services Administration, the facilities managers of the US Government (buildings, leases, rentals, properties, etc.), is a group you'd expect to be pretty well versed on fiscal restraint and finding deals to be had. But, OH NO... Instead, they had their Western Regions Training Conference in Vegas, spending 2,783 taxpayer dollars a head for a total cost of $835,000. These 300 people were treated to:

• A mind reader - 3,200 taxpayer dollars
• A commemorative coin set in velvet boxes - 6,300 taxpayer dollars
• A training exercise to build a bicycle - 75,000 taxpayer dollars
• Canteens, key chains and t-shirts - 6,000 taxpayer dollars
• A clown (I'd love to know what he was paid)
• A comedian (ditto)
• Awards for a participant talent show held as an excuse to treat everyone to dinner
• Treating everyone to dinner (But let's be reasonable here. Even if they had to expense their own meals, they were still government employees expensing their meals to the taxpayers...)

Setting this kind of baby up costs money too:

• Airfare and lodging sending the planners on six trips to the venue to set it up - 147,000 taxpayer dollars (Because, you know, you can't set this sort of beauty up over the phone)
• A finder's fee to book this place that can't even remotely set up a conference - 12,000 taxpayer dollars

One of the worst parts? The news broke THIS WEEK about a conference that happened 18 months ago! That means the motherfuckers spending this kind of money as 'servants' of the public had a good solid run at just covering this up and making it go away. You gotta ask yourself, how much of this shit are they getting away with?

Luckily a hero from within the GSA reported this gross misappropriation of taxpayer dollars. Thank you, GSA Employee. Thank you.

So... What exactly were they being trained for again???

THIS is whyipaytaxes...

read more:GSA chief gone, but fallout continues in wake of lavish convention expense(cnn)

I first heard it:Obama Administration Tripped Up By GSA's Vegas Spending Scandal(npr)

Oklahoma takes the bull by the horns

Finally, the Oklahoma state government is taking care of the big problems. None of this sissy budget balancing for them. After all, how can a state possibly go on without an official state motto?

They do have a state slogan on the state seal, but who the heck can get up in the morning to "Labor Omnia Vincit" (Labor Conquers All Things)? Screw that bullshit, they need a good solid American motto they can feel proud of. Something original.

In God We Trust.
YEEEEEE HAAAAWWWW! Now that's a motto that will put hair on your chest.

At least the article I read quoted State Rep. Ryan "Are you fucking kidding me?" Kiesel in saying this resolution is a "frivolous waste of legislative time."

THIS is whyoklahomanspaytaxes.
read more:Oklahoma Could Soon Have New State Motto(koco)

NDAA - Natural Disposition to Apprehend Americans

Meh... Bad title... This whole post is just an excuse to re-post of a Facebook rant I wrote tonight. It has everything to do with this blog, in that our tax dollar supported government is doing shit that is most-certainly not in our best interest... This is far more political than I like to go with this blog, but at least I show that my intent is non-partisan (even though the hate is directed at the current president).

Straight to the rant:

A post and some responses led me to write an Obama is better than Bush comment on a friends wall. In it, I referred to wars and Bin Laden - easy pickin's for a Obama vs. Bush thread. However, with my bent on moderation and the necessity for more political parties and less polarization, I couldn't go out like that. So, I took a minute to articulate my main hate on Obama too. Having finally put words to a thought that has been bugging me for a few weeks, I thought I'd cut'n'paste 'n' share:
---
Why Obama should indeed be shown the door:

1.) He is the first president in the history of our great nation that signed a bill into law allowing the federal government to apprehend and detain any one of us as long as they want. The only requirement is that they claim the detention is based on suspicion of "terrorism or supporting terrorists." That he signed it 'reluctantly' is irrelevant. That the current administration may never use this power is irrelevant. That our government can abduct us and make us disappear is unacceptable.
http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/317046

2.) The federal government has equated cannabis use as terrorism in the past. In an ad ran by the Office of National Drug Control Policy during the Bush years, "Sharing a joint in your friend's back yard" was described as support of terrorism.
http://www.cannabis-marijuana.com/drugterrorist.html

Put 1 and 2 together and we are not that far away from the government rounding up pot heads and detaining them indefinitely, without charges, without the ability to defend themselves in the courts. While this is extreme and highly unlikely, Obama's signature on that bill make this a possibility. That some future administration, in even more polarized times may take up the mantle of ending the war on drugs once and for all, is a possibility that seems unimaginable today.

Again, I point out that we need more options because it is starting to feel like 1984 up in here. With republicans we're screwed, with democrats we're shafted. Either way, I'm not loving it, no matter how many times McDonalds tries to tell me otherwise.
---

After reviewing the cut'n'paste, I realized it is a bit centered on cannabis users. While some of the best people I know regularly use cannabis, I'm trying to illustrate the truly profound depth of this law. While it is easy to draw the connection to highlight the contrast between everyone's favorite pot head and people who support terrorists, I'm not just talking about hungry people that don't feel like getting off the couch to find food. The vagueness of the terrorism charges is intense and by being forbidden due process, the government cannot be held accountable. A sitting administration can round up its opposition, claim terrorism, and lock them up. Period. No review. No chance to call bullshit. Nothing. Gone for good with no avenue for recourse.

Not acceptable. We need to be far more pissed off about this than we are. Screw the 99% vs. 1%... The Patriot Act didn't even go this far. This is the kind of thing we expect from China, Russia, or Saudi Arabia. This is not what we expected the founding father's vision of freedom in our country to turn into.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Crack patrol

Its kinda like a light bulb joke, but the punchline kinda pisses you off...

Q: How many government agencies does it take to put a guy with $200 of crack on him in jail for 2 weeks?

A:

• Special Assistant United States Attorney, Justin Lightfoot
• the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) Task Force
• the Linn County Sheriff’s Office
• the Cedar Rapids Police Department
• the Marion Police Department
• the Iowa City Police Department
• the Clinton Police Department
• the Iowa Division of Narcotics Enforcement
• the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives
• the Sixth Judicial District Department of Correctional Services
• the Iowa National Guard

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Sometimes, I find the story already put together for me: How Many Law Enforcement Agencies Does it to Take to Prosecute One Man for Buying $200 Worth of Crack?(reason.com)

Unemployed gangs

$30,000 in unemployment benefits were provided to local gangs in Los Angeles on behalf of Anthony "can't find work in jail" Garcia.

Garcia wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box, having been arrested for a murder after having some of the evidence of the murder scene tattooed on his chest.

But he still proved to be too spry of a crook for the unemployment office to catch on to his scam that had family members collecting $1,600 per month from October 2008 to March of 2010.

Checks, balances, aww, forget it...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more: Father & Girlfriends of Inmate Arrested for $30,000 Unemployment Fraud(ktla)

Legistlaters gonna legislate

Now that we've established that pizza is a vegetable and re-affirmed our national motto, lets get down to some serious work!

Pissin' match

This is one of those things that really drives me nuts when you look at it from a whole of humanity perspective...

By around the year 2020 or so, we, as a species, will have 5 completely separate but redundant satellite systems to facilitate navigation and global positioning. Of course, you are familiar with our system called GPS. Each of these systems will cover the entire globe, costs hundreds of BILLIONS of dollars to implement and require dozens of satellites that will consume valuable natural resources and human capital.

We have not decided to dedicate these redundant resources to feeding the hungry, curing incurable diseases, or exploring our options as the Earth will eventually become completely uninhabitable (whether by our hand, or by the demise of our sun).

Rather, we have decided it is more important to have complete control over where our missiles land without fear of foreign intervention in time of war.

Congratulations, humans, on choosing once again petty differences and a profound mistrust of each other over coming together to improve people's lives...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more:China GPS rival Beidou starts offering navigation data(bbc)

At the next sign of logic, turn left

BONUS SCIENCE-RELATED POST

The first man made object ever to leave the influence of our solar system is just about there... Fun!

read more:Voyager 1 Speeds Toward The Brink Of Interstellar Space(npr)

Case closed

Man... Saudi Arabia must save a TON of cash with the wit and efficiency their police force use to serve and protect.

I mean, just take a look at this case:
A 40 year old woman stumbles into a hospital with severe burns and injuries. The doctors tried in vain, but were unable to save her life.

Well, fuck me. There must be some foul play afoot, no?

Well, apparently, "The woman beat herself up and tortured herself with fire," exclaimed police spokesman Colonel Abdullah "No Stone Unturned" Al Sarani. "We closed the case, as no criminal act is involved."

Nicely done officers! Any guesses as to why a woman would beat herself up and torture herself with fire?

The good colonel was glad to be asked, as this open and shut baby tells itself: "Because, she is gripped by jinn." As further evidence, our "Investigation showed the other members of her family are also controlled by jinn."

Fantastic. So, to make sure I understand this, you're saying "Genies! Case closed!" and scurrying away?

That is some beautiful police work.

THIS is whysaudiarabianspaytaxes.
read more: ‘Haunted’ Saudi woman tortures herself to death(e247)

STOP! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!

Checks balanced

I'm having a hard time playing optimistic after that last post, but I caught a good story today too...

In spite of Citigroup's success in exchanging re-election donations for feigned ignorance at the executive branch, the judicial put a bitta smackdown on their asses today.

The SEC, who is appointed by representatives of the people to keep the stock market humming along for the good of the people made a deal with Citigroup. This deal was to close the books on their part in a massive toxic mortgage scam. The deal looks like this:
Citigroup sold $1 BILLION in bunk mortgages to its customers. Knowing they were bunk and unlikely to be re-paid, Citi bet against them.

The investors lost $700 MILLION.

Citi earned $160 MILLION. (Good to be 'in' on it!)

In exchange for this blatant disregard of both ethics and rules, the SEC was going to charge Citi with negligence and fine them $285 MILLION.

Negligence... Well, I guess they should've tried harder to not screw their own customers over.

Luckily, this plea deal from the Executive had to be checked over by the Judicial. And, apparently, Citi was unable to bri*ahem* lobby Federal Judge Jed "Not on My Watch" Rakoff into seeing this as a fair and reasonable punishment for a billion dollar scandal.

(Think maybe the fine was fair? Let me take a shot at illustrating this. When a man is arrested with a kilo of heroin, they don't just take 250 grams of it and tell him he is a *bad* man, that he should have a nice day, and if he is ever in need of a job he's always welcome at the station. No. They take ALL the heroin, everything the guy owns and throws him in jail for at least a significant portion of his life.)

Judge Rakoff decided he thought maybe a closer look was necessary. He said:
"The court concludes, regretfully, that the proposed Consent Judgment is neither fair, nor reasonable, nor adequate, nor in the public interest"
"Although this [settlement] would appear to be tantamount to an allegation of knowing and fraudulent intent... the SEC, for reasons of its own, chose to charge Citigroup only with negligence"

Now THAT is some good solid judgin'...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more:Citigroup-SEC $285m toxic mortgage deal rejected(bbc)

If this committee was 'Super', we're screwed

Bad news:

The congressional *ahem* "Super" Committee was unable to do as they were told and will not be proposing any suggestions regarding deficit reduction aside from the following advice:

Somebody should throw together some kind of a committee to figure this shit out!

Good news:

It was no one's fault! Feel free to vote for incumbents next year, because not one of the 12 people on the committee failed in their task. As it turns out, it was the other side that failed. Awesome!

Assembling a committee of professional politicians to solve a perpetual national crisis with a result of finger pointing and bullshit posturing...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Sarcasm-free TL;DR summary: Super committee convenes with only the advice that this problem should be dealt with, not ignored for future generations to fix and the Republicans blame the impasse on the Democrats who blame the impasse on the Republicans.

Some more good, solid legislatin'

If there is one thing you can count on our congress to do, it is some good solid legislatin' for the good of the people when we need it most... If you doubt me, I have a prime example from this past week.

In a congress where budgets cannot be balanced and the worldwide embarrassment of ignoring self imposed deadlines and slipping credit ratings cannot be avoided, a very important piece of legislation got passed this week:
Pizza is a vegetable. No vegetable toppings needed, the tomato paste counts as a vegetable for our school children. To be fair, they also agreed to keeping french fries on the menu and to delay a requirement to provide a minimum amount of whole grains in school meals, so they really are getting quite a bit done here.

I like to feel this pride in my government. I'm positively beaming and smitten with our fine congresspeople. But to be honest, this quality legislatin' didn't write itself. Oh, no. It was requested by the companies that provide pizza and french fries to schools. And without batting an eye, our congress came together in a moment of true harmony to put the hopes and dreams [prof-it mahr-jin] of these companies ahead of the health and well being of our nation's children.
(I realize that this 'change' is to avoid changing the rules from what has served us so well over the past decades. Wait... Did someone say something about an obesity epidemic?)

So remember fellow countrymen and women, if you want your children to grow up with strong bones and superior health - pizza with every meal! ...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Watch Jon Stewart put it into perspective: Superbad(tds)
My 2 favorite lines in his clip:
"Clearly you are in the pocket of Big Hot Pocket"
"It's not democracy, it's digiorno"

TO BE FAIR: It appears to be some kind of a superpower thing: The Russians recently did some of their own solid legislatin' and decided that beer isn't food.

Its been a good few weeks!: In money we trust(wipt)

In money we trust

As you may or may not have heard, there is some shit going down out there. If I am to understand things correctly, there are massive protests in many of the cities in America, our national deficit is surpassing numbers that were beyond wildest imaginations just a few decades ago, Europe is on the brink of economic catastrophe, we're still embroiled in at least one war right now, a minimum of 9% of our eligible work force can't find work, the Palestinians and Israeli's are still angry with each other, and I hear there are some untrustworthy motherfucker's out their with all sorts of guns, bombs and even a few working on nuclear weapons. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that there are many other things that could really use the full attention of the United States Government right about now.

But, no. OH no.

Our congress (approval rating = 9%) has got FAR more important shit to deal with here. After all, how can our country function if we don't take a time out to RE-AFFIRM our National MOTTO???

Yes, sadly, today, on the floor of the House, they brought up a motion, debated, and passed the reaffirmation of our national motto that was written in 1956: In God We Trust.

This was followed, nearly immediately, by a motion to mint coins to recognize the National Baseball Hall of Fame.

Well, I sure am glad we cleared THAT up...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Watch the video: Men Not At Work(tds)

Catching up on fails you pay for

That is some mighty fine driving. Thanks boys...

Time AND Money. Nice!

Has anyone seen my experimental aircraft?

Wherever you go, there we are.

I'm not sure exactly how much I spent on it or what it was for, but I bought an experimental aircraft and the Department of Defense lost it.

I guess I'll just have to build another one... How else can I attack any target on the planet in under an hour?

I won't even mention the rocket fuel needed to launch this sweet ride...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more:US military loses contact with hypersonic aircraft(bbc)

Alligators in Missouri

Another example of a wonderful bit of police work.

The Independence, Missouri police department got a call reporting a 'gator sighting near a tree by a pond. Being sure to do their due diligence, the police called the local conservation officer to determine how best to dispatch the foul beast before it starts eating children. With solid advice from the conservation officer, they knew upon arrival on the scene that shooting this monster in the head is the only way to save the townsfolk from their certain demise.

Since the due dilligence part of the case was behind them, three officers (in case the first two were overcome by the angry reptile) got to the scene, pulled out their rifles and just started shooting.

You and I might wonder why this alligator hadn't moved since the report was phoned in, some calls were made, and the police reported to the scene. You and I might have looked down the scope of the rifle to see that this stoic troglodyte isn't moving even a bit. You and I might have even wondered why this particular lizard wasn't green like the ones we've seen on Animal Planet.

But it wasn't until the second bullet bounced off the evil creature's head before they realized this concrete lawn ornament was not a threat to anyone but their imaginations. As it turns out, the property owner bought the statue to keep kids off his property. I bet it worked on the kids.

Too bad it didn't work on the cops...

THIS is whyMISSOURIANSpaytaxes.
read more:Independence Police Shoot Alligator Lawn Ornament(kmbc)

Posessed dog case

Because a dog wandered into a rabbinical courthouse in Jerusalem, the judges just had to have a trial. After all, they couldn't get it to leave!

In the end, these judges ruled:
* The dog was a reincarnation of a lawyer who died 20 years ago.
* This dog is this lawyer because 20 years ago, the judges ruled that the lawyer's spirit would enter the body of a dog. This classic ruling was made because the lawyer insulted the judges.
(Imagine that, insulting *these* fine judges? No way!)
* They are certain of this because the dog wouldn't leave.
and... My favorite part of the ruling:
* That the dog should be stoned to death, by children. Fun for the whole family!

Good, solid, and quality judgin'...

THIS is whyisraelispaytaxes.

read more:Jerusalem rabbis 'condemn dog to death by stoning'(bbc)

200 mph patrol car

TAKE A $360,000 POLICE CAR

ADD AN INCOMPETENT POLICE OFFICER

AND YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A WASTE OF TAXPAYER MONEY!

read more:Italian Police Crash Lamborghini Patrol Car(NYT)

2 for 1

Its that much better when the city has to pay to repair two cop cars for the same mistake.

No one here, eh?

You may have seen some of the stories about countries frantically trying to evacuate their citizens from Libya. Oh the costs involved...

But a real champion crew from Canada have managed to earn the Least Valuable Rescue Flight Award. In spite of having 213 Canadians registered at their embassy as wanting to get the fuck out, this crew landed at Tripoli and took off again without picking ANYONE up.

While no one really knows anything yet, the only official response at this time is that they were unable to find any Canadians or citizens of 'like minded countries' waiting at the airport. I'd be willing to bet the crew never even got off the plane, staying only long enough to refuel for the flight home.

They also say the conditions on the ground were dangerous.
Yeah. We get that... Isn't that kinda the reason you went there in the first place?

Rescue flights saving themselves from the hostile territory they visit...

THIS is whycanadianspaytaxes.
read more:Canadian rescue plane leaves Tripoli with no passengers(bbc)