How to handle piracy the efficient way

Now THIS is how you handle piracy:

1.) Get your boat hijacked by people who think the best way to get what they want in this world is to take it from others.
2.) Make sure your boat is being run by people that are able to disable the boat and lock themselves into a panic room.
3.) As the pirates drift helplessly on a boat they can't run, you are relieved of 'negotiating' with them, as they actually have no control over you, your people, or your cargo. Simply hop on board and start shooting or arresting.

Here's where most of us get it wrong:
4.) Feed, clothe, and shelter the pirates for months and months to come while waiting to put them to justice.
5.) Put them on trial in your country, or find a local country to do your dirty work for you in exchange for 'aid.'
6.) Incarcerate them for the duration of their sentence. Make sure they get health care, room, board, and maybe even access to an education.

Here's where Russian efficiency takes it to a new level:
4.) Put them on an inflatable raft and drop them off where you picked them up - in the MIDDLE of the ocean. Perhaps raise a glass and chuckle at the silly pirates as they drift off into the moonlight and their almost certain demise.

You don't owe them a ride home. Hell, some would say they're lucky you wasted an inflatable life raft on them.

THIS is howrussianssavetaxes.

read more: Freed Somali pirates 'probably died' - Russian source (bbc)

Live by the Train, Die by the Train

After 17 years at the helm of Chicago's Metra, Executive Director Phil 'All Aboard' Pagano put the employee's pamphlet on dealing with a suicide on the track in his breast pocket and leapt in front of a speeding Metra train.

It seems the investigation was almost over. I think we know the verdict.

As it turns out, Metra STILL doesn't give out employee bonuses. Well, except for the $56k bonus the boss got last year.

Imagine. Ending a perfectly fine and fairly wealthy life over $56,000.

I like picturing a scene from Hollywood, noble yet sad.
A train speeds down the tracks surrounded by Illinois farm fields - a proud yet apparently sad man straightens his suit in the mirror making sure everything is just so.
The train speeds along with more and more buildings whizzing by, the man takes long sad walk to the train station.
A close up of the eyes, the train speeds toward the station...