If we can prevent the government from wasting the labor of the people
under the pretense of caring for them, they will be happy. - Thomas Jefferson


Sunday, December 20, 2009

Fuzzy Math

I'm no mathematician... However, even if I'm way off on a couple figures, this holds together pretty well...

1.) It costs the U.S. about $1 MILLION to keep 1 troop in Afghanistan for 1 year. (widely reported) For this exercise, I'm assuming soldiers in Iraq cost about the same.
2.) In 2010, there will be over 102,000 troops in Afghanistan.
3.) There are still 130,000 troops in Iraq.

This is excluding thousands of 'support troops' and other differently classified soldiers, so I'm rounding up to 250,000 troops deployed in our wars. At $1 MILLION per soldier, I'm looking at
$250,000,000,000 in 2010.

4.) There are 15.4 MILLION unemployed in the U.S. as of November. (10% unemployment) These people wish they could have a job, just about any job would be fine.

Conclusion:
We could give over 2/3 (10 MILLION) of the unemployed people in our country meager $25,000 a year jobs paid directly out of the government coffers if we weren't mired in 2 foreign wars that have relatively little to do with defending our country.
Don't get me wrong: $25,000 a year is nothing, but it would bring our unemployment under 5% and get them working until industry can offer them better jobs. Which industry could give them better jobs faster if they were employed and able to buy some things.

Think of what we could do if we had 10 MILLION extra government employees for a year. Sure, most of their time and efforts would be wasted in bureaucratic red tape, but even our government couldn't squander all that time without doing something good.

I'm not saying this is a wise idea. I'm just musing on what we might have done differently with our money...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Assault with a deadly... Snowball?

In what should have been nothing more than a guy getting his Hummer stuck in the snow and paying for a tow truck to get him free quickly turned into an event that required the dispatch of several cops who probably could have better served the public in a state of emergency snow storm.

Detective Bailer (The correct spelling of the officer's last name was not give at the scene or by those 'investigating' the incident) got his Hummer stuck in the snow in Washington D.C. near a group of locals enjoying a friendly snowball fight. As you can imagine, having just witnessed a Hummer driver dumb enough to get his gigantic truck stuck in a few inches of snow, the snowballers decided he needed to be a part of the fight.

Little did they know that this guy was an armed off-duty police officer with a hair-trigger temper about to have a tantrum. After getting pelted with snowballs, he figures the only way to fight back is by waving his gun around to really let these unarmed civilians know who is boss.

What really blows my mind is that by the end of the video, it appears they intend to arrest a guy. If you watch closely, I can almost guarantee the detective was unable to tell who actually threw snowballs at him and who were actually innocent bystanders. Evidence be damned, somebody had to get arrested...

THIS is whyDCpaystaxes.

watch it happen: DC - Cop Waves Gun at Snowball Fight! (YouTube)

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Unencrypted transmissions

I know that most of us Americans think of the terrorists and insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan as dirty little men living in caves who only come out to hump camels or blow themselves up.

We also like to think of our own military as the most technologically advance fighting force on Earth with all the trinkets and gadgets a smart military could hope for.

If any of this is even remotely true, can someone PLEASE explain to me why our 'enemies' are able to sit back and sip on some chai while enjoying live streaming videos from our unmanned drones? Doesn't it kind of set us back a bit when they can hack into one of the most advanced weapons of the most advanced military to see what we see? Wouldn't you move Bin Laden to a new cave when you can see that the cave he is in now is being watched?

I gotta wonder how long before they can take over control of the drones and use them against us.

BILLIONS of dollars on advanced technology that scared men in caves can hack into with minimal effort...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Iraq insurgents 'hack into video feeds from US drones' (bbc)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

TRY VIAGRA

Here's another one of those things where I agree with the spirit of the law, but find it really fucking ridiculous that our Representatives and Senators have nothing better to do than to legislate what we in the land of the free can and cannot do.

Since Congress is bored with the economy, health care, war, other war, social injustice, environment, failing infrastructure, a country hemorrhaging manufacturing jobs, etc. etc., they decided it was time to tackle one of the truly monumental issues of our time:
Loud commercials.

Perhaps they could legislate that all remote control manufacturer's make a bigger mute button instead?

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Read more: US moves to ban 'excessively noisy' TV advertisements (bbc)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

From many, to few: Home Edition

Congratulations fellow non-home owning taxpayers! It appears that we will once again be able to spend our hard earned taxes on something that will have absolutely zero benefit to us! Yay!

I tried. I tried to be a liberal. I've always been a conservative at heart after growing up in an area that was heavily supported by state welfare checks. But I like people and think that everyone having a fair shake in life is a noble cause. And, for some crazy reason, I don't think that the whole world should believe in the same god as me. Which, as we all know, if you don't believe in Rush's god, then you don't belong in the republican party.

But to announce that billions of taxpayer dollars should be spent on tax credits for people who make their home more energy efficient blows my mind. These people already have homes! By no means does that make them rich, but what the hell do I care if someone 5 states away decides to re-insulate their attic next summer? Why does money, given to the government by all taxpayers, need to get spent on a select portion of the rest? We've already given them significant tax breaks when they bought the home. We've already bought and installed energy efficient windows for them in 2009.

Hell, I'd feel better if we were to create a plan where we help people with inefficient homes buy better homes so we can move some homeless people into the old homes. Next time you find yourself complaining about a drafty window, think about how drafty a cardboard box under an overpass must get! [en: I'd feel better, but I'd still be bitchin' about it...]

This plan is not official and was merely a suggestion by POTUS. One who apparently thinks that hiring a handful of illegal immigrant carpenters to install doors made in China so that homeowners are more ready to heave a sigh of contentment is a good way to stimulate the economy.

Still better than George W[MD] Bush!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Read more: Obama’s ‘Cash for Caulkers’ May Help Insulation Sales, Dow Says (BLOOMBERG)
P.S. - Well, fucking bully for Dow!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Midwest day of rest for car dealerships

Can anyone fathom why most of the states in the Great Lakes Region have taken the time to write up, debate, and vote on whether or not car dealerships should be allowed to set their own hours? At least Michigan, Illinois, Iowa, Indiana, and Wisconsin have made it illegal for car dealerships to conduct business on Sundays.

I can't imagine the scenario that made this the important issue that had to be dealt with that day...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Fish Kill before the fish get killed

One of my biggest pet peeves is when the government sues itself. In this particular situation, it is two different governments, but we're pretty much supposed to be on the same side.

Michigan is going to sue Illinois to demand closure of the Chicago locks until the Asian Carp problem is cleared up in Illinois' waterways.

First off, they have a valid point. Everything that can be done should be done to prevent the asian carp problem, even if it costs industry big money. While Illinois has spent plenty of money on trying to contain the problem, including a fish kill last night and a high tech system that was supposed to shock the fish into turning back, the problem is real.

And of course we all know that Illinois lacks the political will to do something Chicago doesn't want to do.

But do we really have to pay a bunch of lawyers to figure it out for us? Shouldn't we instead spend the same amount of money and bring the two states' Departments of Natural Resources together? Maybe get some federal employees besides judges involved?

A quote from the article below:
A spokesperson for the Illinois Department of Natural Resources says they are aware of the potential legal action but will "let the lawyers sort it out."


Great! The DNR says, fuck it. We give up.

Are we really so incompetent as a society? Are we going to let the natural ecosystems of the largest freshwater lakes on the planet be destroyed? Because an invasive species of carp was imported to eat algae out of the Gulf of Mexico?
You're serious. To solve the problem we're going to let lawyers get rich off the government while dragging out the case for as many billable hours as possible? While various agencies that ought to take charge of the situation play a game of 'Not It'?

And people wonder why I have little faith in humanity...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Michigan Considering Lawsuit Against Illinois Over Asian Carp Spread(wkzo)

Friday, November 27, 2009

For Sale: Island Condo

Condos for sale on a man made island structure many miles from the mainland in a hurricane free zone.
Must be prepared for arrest and jail time when caught:
wearing the wrong t-shirt
having sex on your beach
bringing a breakfast roll
bringing some tylenol

having 0.003 grams of marijuana stuck to your shoe

Location is near the equator, so bring plenty of sunscreen!
Just sign on the dotted line and you'll not be not loving your condo in no time...

Who knew these weren't going to sell like hotcakes? Who wouldn't want to invest in their piece of an extravagant gated community built on a man made island in the middle of an ocean? I mean, come on people! Start buying!

THIS is whydubaianspaytaxes.

(The Palm Islands are mostly owned by Dubai World which is going down so hard Dubai appears to be going with it)

Hey Sarge, I think we better confiscate this Wii

I know, this is a pretty old one, but I missed it the first time around. As luck would have it, it has recently been added to the FailBlog.org site for voting so I didn't miss it this time 'round.

Back in September, a few different police departments got together for a good ol' fashioned drug raid. Luckily for them, no one was home.

How is this lucky you ask?

Because they didn't even have to ask to play dude's Wii!

Yes. After the initial rush of making sure the house was cleared of evil doers, these officers opted for the more engaging rush of Wii Bowling.
I insist that you watch at least parts of the video... Be amazed with me as the female officer jumps up and down, leaping for joy as she rolls strike after strike. Watch as many different officers wait their turn. And then there's this confusing little diddy at the end where an officer chooses to pantomime his fucking a person doggy style while spanking his partner's ass. I suspect, though have my doubts, that this imaginary mate was of the opposite sex...

So there you have it. Outstanding personal and professional conduct. I'm impressed, officers. Thoroughly impressed.

THIS is whyFLORIDIANSpaytaxes.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Extortion on a grand scale

The Mafia can only dream of such numbers...

Where to start... Where to start...

Ok. As we all know, we pay private security firms in our current wars to help get shit done without having our enlisted men do it all. How this is cheaper than doing it ourselves isn't really clear, but apparently, this is the only way we can get our wars done. Whatever.

So far, so good.

In Afghanistan, the US and other forces decided that since we're pumping countless tons of cold hard cash into private hands to help run this public war, we should spend a little of that money to Afghan contractors. For example, one of our trucking contracts makes up:
5% OF AFGHANISTAN'S GDP!

So far, so good. Kinda wise even. Since we're throwing away bills by the ton, why not put some of it towards keeping our bored enemies busy. Too busy working to join your little jihad.

Problem is, there aren't enough Afghans in the country to actually do the kind of security work that is needed to truck shit around their country. Even without a war going on, the [lack of] roads and mountains make trucking in this area difficult at best.

So far, getting a bit murky.

In order to get the trucking done that they need to, they take a pallet or two of the tons of cash we gave them and spend it on protection money from local warlords. Its generally a pay per truck sliding fee scale thing.

So far, ... Wait. Aren't these the same local warlords that make up and support the Taliban?

Yes. A large portion of the money we pay to Afghans to haul our shit around their country goes straight into the hands of the Taliban. In fact, it is believed that this makes up a significant portion of the Taliban's war budget.

Take a minute. Let that soak in...

We invade a country, then give it the money needed to fight back. This is worse than paying them to not shoot at us as we did in Iraq. I mean come on... Didn't we already learn all this a few decades ago as the Fed brought the Mafia down to a tolerable level of power? Paying someone to not attack you only gives them more money and power to demand that you pay them more next time!

I don't even want to spend much time thinking that while we are assisting in paying the Afghans not to attack other Afghans that there is that much more money around to attack Americans instead.

Without us, they couldn't afford to fight us.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Private contracts drive Afghan economy (marketplace)

Monday, November 23, 2009

Cash for clunkers on a grand scale

I was waiting for someone to figure it out. The first calculation I found comes from the Rochester Institute of Technology:

Every vehicle GM sells costs $12,200 of taxpayer money.
Every vehicle Chrysler sells costs $7,600 of taxpayer money.

Meanwhile, for every vehicle Ford sells, they don't expect you and I to pay their expenses. After all, they are a for-profit PRIVATE company. Unlike Chrysler and GM.

Don't get the math wrong, I'm sure there is a bit of forecasting and estimating going into those numbers. Its not like the costs will go up every time they make a sale, in fact, the more they sell, the less per vehicle cost of the tax burden. I just found it shocking that a reasonable estimate sets the cost of producing cars HIGHER than the MSRP!

Government subsidized auto industry...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Each GM car sold costs taxpayers $12,200, RIT says (RBJ)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Interest swaps

Its a damn fine thing that we were able to bail out the banks long enough to for them to come calling on the bogus investments they sold to us as interest swaps and whatnot.

Follow the money:
Banks sell interest swaps to government agencies, pensions, school districts, and others that use taxpayer money to pay their bills. The idea is that they'll magically get lower interest rates on money borrowed because this banker in a really nice suit told them it would.
taxpayers 0 Banks 1

Suddenly, that very same banker almost goes out of business. A true travesty of justice as we picture him trading in that really nice suit to feed his family. Instead of letting them realize the consequences of their failures, our government uses taxpayer money to pay their bills for them.
taxpayers 0 Banks 2

Now that everything is running smooth, it comes time to think about how big of a bonus the banker in a really nice suit will get. Wait a minute, I know. He can tell all his interest swap customers that not only did they not get the lower interest rates, but things are so tough out there that they suddenly owe the banks MILLIONs of dollars.
taxpayers 0 Banks 3

Thats right. A fabricated product did not perform as promised. Though rather than losing your investment in the product outright, you actually owe more now!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Auditor general looks to ban swaps(marketplace)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

End of prohibition savings

November 2nd Newsweek had an interesting info-graphic.

The amount the federal government could save if it stopped investigating and prosecuting small time marijuana offenders is $13.5 BILLION.

Think of the school books we could buy with that kind of money. Or drug treatment facilities. Or turn it into a profit center and use that money to open a munchies restaurant chain.

This number does NOT take into account the BILLIONS that could be raised by taxing the stuff.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

So long and thanks for all the cash

With the collapse of CIT was the elimination of any hope of getting the $2.3 BILLION taxpayers gave to them under Dubya's TARP fund.

You kinda gotta wonder where all that cash went... I mean, I know you're not supposed to. Its easier if you just don't think about it and try to forget it while wondering what team Brett Farve is playing for this week.

But... You kinda gotta think about it... That's a lot of money to give to someone who 3 months later comes to you and says paying you back just isn't gonna work out for him anymore.

Maybe we should be breaking some knees...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Greasing their poles

The cops in Philadelphia are applying a thick coat of grease to all light and sign poles, bus shelters and trees in the downtown area. Police Lt. Frank Vanore says the department is "trying to prevent people from getting too crazy and climbing up there."

This is in response to their World Series victory last year, as the police seek to limit the looting and damage caused by the citizen's celebrations.

I guess this *might* bring about a reduction in uninsured dumbasses falling out of trees, hurting themselves, and being given a trip to the emergency room that they cannot afford. However, I can't possibly fathom a way in which buying a thick lubricating jelly and taking the time to smear it over everything, including trees, is supposed to limit looting or protect taxpayers interests in anyway.

I guess adding buckets of grease to the city's waste water system is cheaper than putting a few more cops on duty that night...

THIS is whyphiladelphianspaytaxes.

read more: Greasing poles in case of a Phillies victory (philly.com)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Bath time!

A special shower built for French President Sarkozy ended up giving the European Union taxpayers a bath.

This shower was custom built for the 5'5" world leader and included built-in massage and surround sound radio functions. Before you go and get envious, consider the 276,000 Euros ($407,410) it cost to build it. Suddenly, you don't even want one of your own, do you?...

So, almost a half a million bucks for a bath tub... Not the worst example of tax funds wasted, but certainly up there. Until, that is, you consider the following:
This shower was BUILT FOR A 3 DAY SUMMIT!!!
But wait, there's more:
IT WAS NEVER USED!
It has since been dismantled.

Yes. This custom built shower was built for a guy who lived 10 minutes away. As most of us would, throughout the summit, he simply ran home to grab a quick shower when he needed one.

A couple other items mentioned that were purchased for this Union of the Mediterranean Summit includes a $132,799 carpet and a $442,664 podium. Apparently this podium included a live-in person to provide oral sex for the speaker. After all, you wouldn't want to speak to the Union of the Mediterranean with just any ol' podium...

THIS is whyEUROPEANSpaytaxes.

Read more: Row over Sarkozy's costly shower(bbc)

Monday, September 28, 2009

Clean Air Iowa

Millions of tons of concrete and blacktop poured on the Earths surface for our convenience.
Check.

Millions of tons of CO2 in the atmosphere to bring that concrete, dig a path, and pour it for our convenience.
Check.

Millions of tons of CO2 in the atmosphere from commuters, road trippers, semi trucks, and people bringing their vacation RVs that could house several 3rd world families.
Check.

BUT DON'T YOU DARE SMOKE A FUCKING CIGARETTE IN AN OPEN-AIR REST AREA ON THE SIDE OF THE INTERSTATE IN IOWA! That shit could kill you!

Yes. The State Legislature of Iowa has so little to do, it took the time to write, debate, and pass a law banning cigarette smoking in rest areas along the Interstates. Because, when they rest 100 yards from some of the busiest Interstate traffic in the country, they don't want to inhale air pollution.

Hell, there was probably more pollution emitted into the air when they manufactured, painted, transported and installed several of these signs in every rest area in the state.

But its the second hand smoke thats gonna get you...

THIS is whyIOWANSpaytaxes.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

University Pot

Dutch police did some magnificent police work this week when they found 47 thousand cannabis plants worth about $6.3 MILLION. Finding this field was a big day for those in charge and they summarily began destroying this bountiful crop.

Turns out, it wasn't cannabis, it was hemp. And, it was being grown by Wageningen University to test it as a sustainable source for textiles.

Good police work fellahs. Way to investigate before destroying public property.

Using a publicly funded force to destroy publicly funded research...

THIS is whyTHEDUTCHpaytaxes.

Friday, August 7, 2009

My cash, for your clunker

The Senate has approved another $2 BILLION for the CARS program. (read more)

Much like all the other schemes giving away the tax money we all pay to only a select few who qualify, this is getting ridiculous. Lucky are the douchebags who both purchased a shitty gas guzzling vehicle more than a year ago AND can afford to buy a new car now...
I, for one, could afford a new car now, especially with $4,500 of your money, but the piece of junk sable in my driveway, a true clunker, is rated at 19 miles per gallon, so I don't qualify.

For those of you who think we're saving the environment:
1.) In certain circumstances, businesses are getting the credit with as little as a 1 mile per gallon improvement in fuel economy over the traded in vehicle. (read more)
2.) I for one can't wait to find out that the entrepreneurial spirit amongst the car dealerships and scrap yards is alive and well in the U.S. as it is in Germany. They've been running their own Cash for Clunkers program for most of this year. This week, their law enforcement shut down their program after finding containers of 'clunkers' ready to ship to Africa to be re-sold. Rather than getting these clunkers off the road, we're simply putting them on other roads, and allowing the dealerships and scrap yards to double dip the profits. (read more)

For those of you who think we're saving our economy:
1.) Now that dealerships are moving their old inventory under this program, the price of vehicles is going up again, making it harder for most folks that can buy a car to get a great deal.
2.) I don't have facts and figures, but I heard a story on NPR that in Germany, Toyota has outsold all other vehicles in their cash for clunkers program. The statistics in the U.S. aren't yet available, but I'm sure its not all American made cars being sold.

Taking from many, giving to few...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Stairway to...a waste of time

Search teams have been searching the Pecatonica River for human remains since they found a foot on the banks last week.

A breakthrough today when they picked up what they thought was more human remains on a sonar search.

After the divers went in, they found a set of stair-steps. They want us to believe it looked like a rib cage. Must have been a pretty small set of stairs...

Crack sonar teams...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Dive Teams Search Pecatonica River(msl.com)

Gettin' our money's worth

Ok... Often times our Ex-Presidents are handy to have around. But its about time we used one to take some pressure off of the State Department... (after all, they are too busy looking to free retarded tourists)

We sent ol' Slick Willy over to North Korea to negotiate the release of 2 American Journalist Hostages. They had recently been given lengthy jail sentences. Hours after Bill met with Kim, the journalists were pardoned.

I can't wait to see if something comes of their discussions about the nukes.
(I couldn't help but make the joke to my boss earlier: He was probably over there for some North Korean Strange when he figured he'd swing by Kim Jong-Il's place for some post-coital negotiations...)

Bill Clinton's ex-president salary...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: North Korea pardons US reporters(bbc)

Children in cars

No shortage of keeping the taxpayer funded traffic cops of the world busy...

In Australia, one driver had his priorities straight. When pulled over, the constable discovered that while he and his passengers had taken the time to use the meatbelt to strap in a 30 pack of beer, they were allowing a 5 year old child sit bitch on the floor in the back seat. (meatbelt=seatbelt, sittin' bitch=sitting in the middle, in this case, on the hump in the floor)
The driver couldn't fathom why he was getting a ticket for a child not wearing a meatbelt.
Aussie straps in beer, not child(bbc)

In Canada, a rather brilliant man had his 7 year old son take a drive on a rainy day. What makes this fellow particularly brilliant is the fact that he filmed it, then posted the video on YouTube. I'll bet his wife was pissed, right? Nope, she was in the back seat.
He could be heard egging the child on at 25mph and was beaming with pride when the kid got up to 45mph.
Did I mention that it was raining? Good day to start teaching your kid how to drive!
Canada probes child driver video(bbc)

Proof that traffic cops are well worth the money...

THIS is whywepaytaxes.

The ham did it!

As the DNA evidence clearly shows, Your Honor, she was assaulted by the ham and swiss on rye.

Amongst other systemic failures, the Cambridgeshire Police Department was found to often store DNA evidence in freezers next to uncovered foodstuffs.

Not to worry. Deputy Chief Constable John 'You Gonna Eat That?' Feavyour personally looked into it and all of the DNA samples that were stored in these conditions were redundant and never affected the outcome of any trials.

Apparently, they were hoping to taint their lunches, not the DNA samples...

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.

read more: Police kept DNA samples with food(bbc)

Monday, August 3, 2009

Fine

Bank of America gets $25 BILLION from taxpayers to facilitate the purchase of Merrill Lynch.

In spite of promising its shareholder it wouldn't, BOA summarily gave $3.6 BILLION of it to the management team at Merrill, apparently for the real bang up job they did driving it out of business.

Now, rather than letting the investigation of this douchebaggery unfold, BOA is settling with the government for $33 MILLION.

Not bad. $33 MILLION to cover up a $3.6 BILLION dollar scam. Not bad at all.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Bonus fine for Bank of America(bbc)

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Someone is at fault for my unemployment... SUE!

A crazy lady in the Bronx is suing the college she graduated from in APRIL because she's still unemployed 3 months later. Because, after 90 days the college hasn't hooked her up with a kush IT gig in a down economy, they apparently owe her $70,000.

Are we to assume that when she does get an IT job at some point in the future she will have to give the award back? I'd also like to see the signed contract where they guaranteed employment upon graduation...

Always somebody to sue for all that ails you...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Jobless graduate sues her college(bbc)

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Behold, the power of prayer

Rather than putting medical science before their religious beliefs, Dale and Leilani Neumann of Wisconsin decided that only their god could treat their daughter's diabetes. You'd expect they would have at least asked their preacher who might have suggested that doctors are also a gift from their god. But no. Instead, they got some fellow crazies (no offense to any non-religious crazies out there) to have a prayer circle and sat around watching as the daughter died.

Wilford 'Diabeetus' Brimely would be pissed.

I'm pissed because of the many months of jury trial involved, forthcoming appeals, and the free room and board al a the 25 year reckless homicide conviction.

At least they won't be able to make anymore children, then make said children suffer an extremely painful death instead of beleiving in the power of insulin.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Praying man let his daughter die(bbc)

Keeping the State Department busy

As if they don't have enough to worry about in the world today, the State Department, US Embassy in Iraq, and I'm sure a bit of the military now has to deal with 3 of America's dumbest tourists who wandered into Iran and got themselves arrested.

I mean, come on... There are mountains all over the world, including a handful right here in the U.S. They just HAD to go hiking on the Iranian border? WTF???

As far as I'm concerned, call off the helicopter searches and the state department's efforts to 'determine the facts in this case' and let them go. With any luck, they'll be jailed for the rest of their lives for being infidels.

One of my favorite parts:
the Iraqi border guards saw three Americans with big backpacks crossing the border, but they did not stop them because they thought Americans were allowed to go anywhere.
Yeah. Right. I'm sure the thinking wasn't so much as 'we thought they were allowed to go anywhere' as much as it was 'HA! Look at those dumb Americans with their big backpacks going to Iran.'

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: US nationals 'being held by Iran'(bbc)

I'm gonna sue [myself]

At least when Well Fargo sues itself, it has the common decency of hiring two different law firms to prosecute and defend itself.

This is not the case when the Kauai County Government in Hawaii decides to sue itself! Instead, they spend $250,000 dollars and have the county attorney represent both sides of the case against itself.

Here's the deal:
The local residents are being taxed out of their homes. Its not a matter of not keeping up with the mortgage, its a matter of property values being driven so high by out of state speculators that the residents can no longer afford the taxes on their long owned but newly valued homes. Which is fine by the county government, because that means they can pull in tax money from the out of towners and run record budgets as high as $123 MILLION! I mean, what county doesn't need to spend that kind of money on day to day operations?

So the residents, silly as it sounds, decided to pretend like they lived in a democracy. They got a measure on the ballot that caps the property taxes on any home that is owner-occupied. In spite of heavy lobbying by the county government and using the tax gains in a coordinated attack on the ballot measure, it passed by a 2 to 1 margin.

Rather than accepting defeat and trying to get by on tax revenues most counties only dream of, they decided their best course of action was to sue itself. This way, they could get the court to declare that the people of the county had no right to propose and vote on the ballot measure. The Hawaii Supreme Court agreed, saying that only the county government has a right to police itself, not the citizens.

Sometimes the articles I summarize do it better themselves:
Now, under Hawaii law, when government officials do not agree with the outcome of an election, they are free to concoct a friendly lawsuit, fund the litigation with taxpayer money, and ask a local court to strike the measure down.

THIS is whyhawaiianspaytaxes.

read more: HAWAII GOVERNMENT SUES ITSELF TO QUASH PROPERTY TAX RELIEF - AND WINS (flashreport.org)

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Microsoft

Ok this post has NOTHING to do with taxpayer's money. However, for the sake of being able to share my amazement with the Ballmer Quote, I've found a vague way to tie it into the presumed purpose of this blog and have described it at the end of this post. But for a mind blowingly good time, continue:

Microsoft's CEO, Steve 'Mini Bill' Ballmer on the recent deal struck with Yahoo(bbc):
we will create [...] real consumer choice in a market currently dominated by a single company

Yeah. Because we ALL know how adverse Microsoft is to a market dominated by a single company.

OH, AND BY THE WAY:
The agreement rolls Yahoo's Search into the new Bing search engine. Yes, Ballmer wants you to believe that by eliminating a search engine altogether, he is providing more search engine choices. Most of Yahoo's engineers will be fired, only the sales and marketing staff will be spared.

While the [pretty much a] merger of Yahoo and Microsoft doesn't really directly cost the Federal Government money, we can all be assured that Microsoft themselves directly cost the government and any business using computers money on a regular basis. If they spent more time and money on making a better software suite than they do hanging onto their monopoly, we'd be a lot further along with our computing technology. Imagine a world where the government and private enterprises don't have to hire an entire IT staff just to handle the problems that come up with the software used to operate computers (not the applications we actually use to do our jobs, but the software we use to turn our computers on).
Government IT...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Am I an artist?

'Cause if I am, I can get the Taxpayers of Rockford, Illinois to pay my rent for me!

That's right. As he slashes budgets around town, from the Library to the Fire Department, Rockford Mayor Larry Morrisey has hired a well-paid consultant to organize subsidized housing in the downtown area for anyone who considers themselves an artist or musician.

I design packaging and other graphic arts, could I get someone to pay my rent if I moved to Rockford?
How about a talentless bass player with no future beyond a local band who gives nothing more back to their community other than an annoying racket at a local dive bar? S/He would certainly be a 'musician.' Does that mean s/he qualifies for free rent?

I can see the need for arts and culture in any downtown setting... But do we really have to pay for the artist's rent? (And do we have to pay a salary to a guy to set up the payments?)

THIS is whyrockfordianspaytaxes.

read more: Bringing A New Element to Downtown Rockford(msl)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Commercials

So, do you all love the new GM commercials we've created? We're really running the Chevy commercial trying to clear out all '08 and '09 models frequently and that one about gigantic GMC trucks is a hoot!

Hell, I'm just glad we're past the point where GM was blowing sunshine up our asses about how they weren't going out of business, they were getting down to it.

Yes. I realize that it is reasonable and necessary for GM to start running commercials again, especially if we ever want GM to pay the government back for ensuring the livelihood of it as a private enterprise. However, it will be a looong time before I'll stop bitching about everything GM does as a ward of the state.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Monkeying around

Sometimes, there is no need to summarize a story when the opening sentence says it all...

Wildlife officials in India plan to build a special school to improve the behaviour of delinquent monkeys.

THIS is whyindianspaytaxes.

read more: Indian school for rogue monkeys(bbc)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

In your face, Illinois

Apparently, New Jersey was getting tired of hearing quotes such as FBI Agent Robert Grant "If [Illinois] isn't the most corrupt state, it's certainly one hell of a competitor." So, today they rounded up and arrested 29 public officials in New Jersey, including 3 mayors, a deputy mayor, a couple of state legislators and a bunch of other public officials.

If I hadn't focused on the Illinois angle at the lead-in, I might have titled this post "The Jewish Mafia." Along with the 29 public officials, they also pulled in 15, lets classify them as 'Community Leaders', including several rabbis.

Now, I don't know the proper proportion of Jews to non-Jew involved, nor did I intend to insult those in the Mafia. Its just that my initial reaction of hearing about extortion and corruption in construction in New Jersey, my mind naturally drifted to the Sopranos.

Get a load of this:
There were some tie ins with the construction boom in New Jersey, but everyone prefers to talk about their kidney trafficking. Yup. They'd get people on tough times to sell them a kidney for $10,000. They'd then turn around and sell it to desperately ill people for $160,000.
Not a bad margin...

[US Attorney Ralph] Marra said: "It seemed that everyone wanted a piece of the action. The corruption was widespread and pervasive. Corruption was a way of life for the accused."He said politicians had "willingly put themselves up for sale" and clergymen had "cloaked their extensive criminal activity behind a facade of rectitude".

Here's where your money is really going:
It took 300 FBI agents to round them up this morning. These are the arrests in a 10 year investigation. This is also the beginning of many many years of trials and prosecutorial costs, along with the costs involved in paying a judge to listen to it all in real slow motion. Trust me, these guys'll have some big time lawyers in their corner...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: US corruption probe nets dozens(bbc)

P.S. The most corrupt state? North Dakota. By far. (total number of convictions vs. total number of politicians)

Monday, July 20, 2009

To the rescue

No thanks to the government who has poured lavish amounts of taxpayer dollars into its competitors, it seems as though CIT will not have to file for bankruptcy this week. Apparently the bondholders have decided to double down and buy some more bonds that will then be exchanged for equity.

Why its good:
1.) Now, small and medium businesses across the country should be able to stock their shelves for the holidays instead of having a going out of business sale for the holidays.
2.) This should make it possible for CIT to pay back the $2.33 BILLION we gave them under the TARP.
3.) Apparently the credit markets are moving a bit again if they were able to drum up what they needed to get by.
4.) Banks are saving themselves without handouts from the government! (Was I premature in my bitching? Did our leadership say no because they knew CIT didn't really need it? I have my doubts; I'm still pretty certain that it was a matter of not having any close friends/ex-employees in the administration...)

Now, if only there was a way to get the CEO to loosen his death grip on the company and bring it back around to a fully functioning bank...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: CIT Grabs a Lifeline(tbm)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Conflicts of cozy interests

Am I the only one uncomfortable with the White House Chief of Staff sitting in on JPMorgan Chase's board meetings?

In an era where our federal government is handing out taxpayer dollars to private entities, picking and choosing which banks should fail and which banks will succeed, it seems wrong to have government officials at the highest levels getting so cozy with one particular bank. I'll bet that CIT wouldn't be forced into bankruptcy if they too had the opportunity to have the President's right hand man over for a visit...

I would guess this: Investing in JPM stocks is probably a pretty safe bet over the long term, 'cause they are apparently going to continue to get what they ask for...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: In Washington, One Bank Chief Still Holds Sway(nyt)

Saturday, July 18, 2009

In spite of being Taken care of

This is an addendum to the post directly following (preceding, chronologically) the next post. Read that one first, then segue into this one:

Oh, and the banks, with their near record profits this quarter STILL aren't lending money, WHICH IS THE ENTIRE REASON WE GAVE THEM BAILOUTS IN THE FIRST PLACE!
quote from linked article below (tbm)(EA):
Underscoring the need for big banks to restart lending is the saga of CIT. The ailing specialty lender needs $2 billion to $3 billion in short-term financing, according to Fortune, and is seeking loans from JPMorgan Chase and Goldman Sachs. The deal could involve a piece of the company. "The New York Post reported Friday that JPMorgan Chase could acquire CIT's factoring unit, which finances more than $50 billion of wholesale inventory, at a time of the year when the collapse of the lender could disrupt retailers' holiday plans," says Fortune. One Alabama hardware company is already blaming CIT for its bankruptcy, writes Bloomberg, which also reports that [CIT] CEO Jeffrey Peek stands to earn $14.7 million, ahead of any repayment to the government of the $2.33 billion in TARP funds, should a bankruptcy or buyout occur.

JPM and GS, In spite of announcing near record profits last week, won't loan enough money to keep it and our retailers that count on it for purchasing goods to stock their shelves for the holiday season UNLESS THEY GET A PIECE OF OWNERSHIP. If the fact that thousands of small businesses will be forced to close due to their lines of credit disappearing meant nothing to the Obama administration when considering whether or not to bail out CIT, it sure isn't going to matter to JPM or GS.
This is EVEN THOUGH WE GAVE JPM AND GS BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WITHOUT A DROP OF OWNERSHIP.

Man... I am getting pissed! I knew it was going to be hard to watch this unfold back when the government started handing out our money to private firms late last year, but this is getting painful to watch...

AND: Why the hell does yet another CEO that successfully drove the business he was in charge of into the ground, to the point of begging for handouts to survive, gets MILLIONS OF DOLLARS in bonuses?

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Taken care of (part 2)

Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, Citigroup, and JPMorgan Chase had second-quarter profits totaling $13.6 billion.

Larry 'Cocks=Brains' Summers: [the profits were made possible by] ‘the extraordinary public support provided by the federal government.'
Between the lines: I gave all your tax money to my buddies, suckers!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: These Bank Profits Made Possible by Taxpayers Like You (tbm)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Looking into it

In 1998 the British Government announced a public inquiry into the Bloody Sunday incident of 1972. Since that time, the inquiry has costed the government over $290 MILLION, over half of which was spent directly on lawyers.

Results to date: We're still looking into it.

And, I have to ask, because I have to wonder: What in the hell is it they hope to determine? How is an inquiry lasting longer than a decade looking into events from over 30 years ago supposed to have any positive effect on anyone's life? Just take the $290 MILLION and divvy it up between all the British citizens (excluding the lawyers on the inquiry). I'll bet that would have a much more positive result.

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.

read more: again, found in Newsweek (InternationaList)

AIG

Here's an idea everyone:
The next time you have a creditor on the phone demanding payment of the money you owe... Ask them if its ok to treat yourself first.
Hell, even if you're not being harassed, but simply debating whether you should pay off money you owe or just buy yourself something nice...
Either way, go with giving yourself a bonus and forgoing your responsibility.

Why not? If it works for AIG, it can work for you!
Over the next few months, AIG intends to hand out $238 MILLION in retention bonuses. Gotta retain that talent! After all, their talented employees managed to bring the world's economy to its knees and the company was handsomely rewarded with $180 BILLION.

Did I say rewarded? I meant bailed out. And there is NO need to pay it back anytime soon. Not when we have hungry executives to reward!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: found in CW in Newsweek. Just Google 'AIG Bonuses' and click on the news results...

What tigers?

Ahhh, yes... When good fish & wildlife projects go bad...

A tiger park in central India had 24 tigers in it 3 years ago. The park was established to help prevent the extinction of Royal Bengal Tigers.

After having a wildlife census performed, they have found out that today, they have no tigers in it.

Of course, poachers are to blame for the losses, but... ... If it is your job as a government agency to protect 24 animals, ... ... *sigh*

THIS is whyindianspaytaxes.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Taken care of

Its nice to be favored by the government. A government that will one day, allow your biggest competitor go out of business and the next, bailout a firm that owes you money.

For, without our bailouts, without our help, and with the elimination of its competition, how else would it have been possible for Goldman Sachs to pay $6.65 BILLION in pay & bonuses THIS QUARTER (an average of $226,000 per employee FOR ONE 3 MONTH PERIOD!)?

Boasting profits for the quarter of $3.44 BILLION, I can see clearly now that our government was right. These poor poor bastards really needed our help...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Goldman Sachs sees bumper profit(bbc)

Monday, July 13, 2009

Bailin' out the lawyers (Part 2)

Ok. For those of you not reading this blog backwards, in the order I've been posting, you'll see that a couple posts ago, I was bitchin' about banks suing each other with and for their bailout funds we gave them. In my apathy towards finding solid examples, I went with the first couple I found after googling the story I had heard on the radio. They were good enough examples to get my point accross, but little did I know: The PERFECT case of banks suing themselves was right under my nose.

Wells Fargo NA has sued itself in a mortgage foreclosure case in Hillsborough County, Florida.

Yes. Go ahead, read that again. Yes. Its true. It has even hired a lawyer to defend itself from itself.

Oh my.


Parsed, Cut, 'n Pasted details: (sweet, sweet apathy) Al Lewis: Wells Fargo Bank Sues Itself(fox)
In this particular case, Wells Fargo holds the first and second mortgages on a condominium. As holder of the first, Wells Fargo is suing all other lien holders, including the holder of the second, which is itself. [Court] documents clearly label "Wells Fargo Bank NA" as the plaintiff and "Wells Fargo Bank NA" as a defendant. Wells Fargo hired Florida Default Law Group., P.L., of Tampa, Fla., to file the lawsuit against itself. And then Wells Fargo hired another Tampa law firm -- Kass, Shuler, Solomon, Spector, Foyle & Singer P.A. -- to defend itself against its own lawsuit.

To be sure: Wells Fargo NA, which is considered by our government as 'Too Big To Fail' was given $25,000,000,000 (as of 2/2009) to ensure they'd have funds left over for the legal fees to sue itself. And what we're not spending in federal subsidies directly to the bank, we're spending on the Judge's salary, the court clerk's salary, building, maintenance, and upkeep fees to make sure all parties involved have a means to sue themselves whenever they see fit.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

To give true credit where credit is due, this story was discovered at FailBlog.org.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Goldman Sachs

As Matt Taibbi runs through the evidence and coincidence of the apparent fact that Goldman Sachs has been at the forefront to profit from every bubble that has burst since the 20s he writes this paragraph (EA):

The history of the recent financial crisis, which doubles as a history of the rapid decline and fall of the suddenly swindled-dry American empire, reads like a Who's Who of Goldman Sachs graduates. By now, most of us know the major players. As George Bush's last Treasury secretary, former Goldman CEO Henry Paulson was the architect of the bailout, a suspiciously self-serving plan to funnel trillions of Your Dollars to a handful of his old friends on Wall Street. Robert Rubin, Bill Clinton's former Treasury secretary, spent 26 years at Goldman before becoming chairman of Citigroup — which in turn got a $300 billion taxpayer bailout from Paulson. There's John Thain, the asshole chief of Merrill Lynch who bought an $87,000 area rug for his office as his company was imploding; a former Goldman banker, Thain enjoyed a multibillion-dollar handout from Paulson, who used billions in taxpayer funds to help Bank of America rescue Thain's sorry company. And Robert Steel, the former Goldmanite head of Wachovia, scored himself and his fellow executives $225 million in golden-parachute payments as his bank was self-destructing. There's Joshua Bolten, Bush's chief of staff during the bailout, and Mark Patterson, the current Treasury chief of staff, who was a Goldman lobbyist just a year ago, and Ed Liddy, the former Goldman director whom Paulson put in charge of bailed-out insurance giant AIG, which forked over $13 billion to Goldman after Liddy came on board. The heads of the Canadian and Italian national banks are Goldman alums, as is the head of the World Bank, the head of the New York Stock Exchange, the last two heads of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York — which, incidentally, is now in charge of overseeing Goldman.

With so many people in positions of financial power having come through the rites of passage known as a job at Goldman Sachs, its hard to believe that its not just a big 'Good Ol' Boys' club. What better way to ensure free government handouts by putting your buddies in charge of the government?

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Matt Taibbi has long since entered my conscience as a potential Hunter Thompson of our time. Read the excerpted story from Rolling Stone.
The Great American Bubble Machine(rs)

Some more quotes, please read to see more evidence of a required career at Goldman to get a position of any power:

(One thing that has been noticed by just about everyone but the MSM)
Although he had already engineered a rescue of Bear Stearns a few months before and helped bail out quasi-private lenders Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, Paulson elected to let Lehman Brothers — one of Goldman's last real competitors — collapse without intervention. [...] The very next day, Paulson greenlighted a massive, $85 billion bailout of AIG, which promptly turned around and repaid $13 billion it owed to Goldman. Thanks to the rescue effort, the bank ended up getting paid in full for its bad bets

a $700 billion plan called the Troubled Asset Relief Program, and put a heretofore unknown 35-year-old Goldman banker named Neel Kashkari in charge of administering the funds

In order to qualify for bailout monies, Goldman announced that it would convert from an investment bank to a bank-holding company, a move that allows it access not only to $10 billion in TARP funds, but to a whole galaxy of less conspicuous, publicly backed funding — most notably, lending from the discount window of the Federal Reserve. By the end of March, the Fed will have lent or guaranteed at least $8.7 trillion under a series of new bailout programs — and thanks to an obscure law allowing the Fed to block most congressional audits, both the amounts and the recipients of the monies remain almost entirely secret.
Converting to a bank-holding company has other benefits as well: Goldman's primary supervisor is now the New York Fed, whose chairman at the time of its announcement was Stephen Friedman, a former co-chairman of Goldman Sachs

the man now in charge of supervising Goldman — New York Fed president William Dudley — is yet another former Goldmanite.

Barack Obama, a popular young politician whose leading private campaign donor was an investment bank called Goldman Sachs

Gone are Hank Paulson and Neel Kashkari; in their place are Treasury chief of staff Mark Patterson and CFTC chief Gary Gensler, both former Goldmanites.


The new carbon-credit market is a virtual repeat of the commodities-market casino that's been kind to Goldman, except it has one delicious new wrinkle: If the plan goes forward as expected, the rise in prices will be government-mandated. Goldman won't even have to rig the game. It will be rigged in advance.

Bailin' out the lawyers

Lets buy the line that the TARP and other bailouts had to happen or calamity would have ensued. (A calamity that would have leveled the playing fields a bit. A calamity that would have potentially brought many of the super-rich down to our levels. A calamity that would have voided their inherent superiority and MUST NOT BE.) Ok. So we buy that line. Bad things would happen if we didn't start pouring money from everyone's pocket into a handful of fat cat's pockets.

Having agreed to the necessity of giving rich people access to our co-op (tax pool) funds, we would like to assume that the money is used to make right the wrongs. To fix this problem that leaves us on the verge of a calamity. Instead, like a bum that takes your $5 to buy a bottle of booze instead of the sandwich they said they would buy, the banks are making relatively few changes. Sure, they're making it harder for us to borrow that money we gave them, but they are also sure to honor bond insurance claims on questionable funds that have already been bailed out.

Now they've found a new way to spend our money for us: Lawsuits! Somebody has got to be blamed for the financial meltdown and by God, we're going to use our lawyers to find out who it was. Ambac is suing JP Morgan. MBIA is suing Merrill Lynch. The shareholders at Citi Group ARE SUING THEIR OWN MANAGEMENT TEAM! (Apparently, those who bought into Citi within the last handful of years think they overpaid for their [obviously] worthless stocks and should be reimbursed by someone... Did NO ONE understand the word risk? Don't people know that if you invest in a company on the stock market, there is no guarantee of success? You could lose everything. And if that happens, no one is supposed to come along and give you your lost money back?)

At any rate. A significant portion of our bailout funds is now funding a giant mass of lawyers to sue each other. We'll be paying the prosecutors, defenders, court costs, awards, and settlements with the mountains of bailout funs we've given them to play with.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Moral hazards (Picking winners, choosing losers pt 4)

The CIT Group needs our help.
Being one of those companies that were allowed to change their status from a financial institution to a banking company in December to get their share of the TARP funds, CIT Group was awarded $2.33 BILLION. Which they've decided isn't enough and they must be given more.
'Cause, you know... If CIT Group fails, the world's economy will follow.
Right? That's still the official line, right?

Now lets flip that coin over.

The government may choose not to honor CGs request for another BILLION dollars. As a major lender to small and mid sized businesses, they don't have access to the lobbying teams the mega banks do, nor do they have conveniently placed ex-executives in the new government.
So, in spite of the Hundreds of BILLIONS of dollars given to AIG for backing up big name banks with their 'friends with benefits [in government]', our government now debates letting CIT Group go into bankruptcy over $1 BILLION. Because hey... Who needs small and mid sized businesses anyway?

Giving some banks free access to the Fed's printing press while busting chops over other banks seeking to grab up the money the others couldn't fit into their pockets on the way out...
Giving taxpayer dollars to anyone willing to call themselves a bank...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Funeral costs on the rise

Michael Jackson's memorial shindig last night cost the city $1.4 MILLION in police and traffic services alone. The city is now asking for donations. We all know the state can't afford it...

No one's fault, really. Just not the sort of thing I like to see my taxes being spent on...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

I guess I could make a comment about the flurry of lawsuits that will come from all of this and the excessive investigations that your average dead fellow would NOT get.... But there isn't much to say. Extraordinary circumstances and an investigation must ensue...

read more: Mystery surrounds Jackson burial (bbc)

Monday, July 6, 2009

Buying in

Well... In the end, GM is going to cost us ANOTHER $60 BILLION!!! The Fed will own 60% of it under the current plan.

Model: GM
Cost: About $100 billion
Needs Work! Will not run as-is.
Warranty: As-is.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Make ready the lobbyists

The Health Care industry is snapping up Lobbyists like they are going out of style.
From the Washington Post:
The nation's largest insurers, hospitals and medical groups have hired more than 350 former government staff members and retired members of Congress in hopes of influencing their old bosses and colleagues

OK.
Health Insurance: Interests covered.
Hospitals, et al: Interests covered.
Other Professional Medical Groups: Interests covered.
Federal Government: Interests covered.

Lets see... ... Are there any interested stakeholders in the health care system who are not represented here? Hmmm... Seems I'm forgetting something...

OH YEAH! There doesn't seem to be anyone invited to their meetings that represent US, The Patients.
Oh well, I'm sure they'll fight for whats best for us. I'm sure they'll spare no expense to ensure our comfort with our quality of medical care in this country.

I might add, that maybe if they'd hire 350 efficiency experts they might be able to better attack the problems at hand as opposed to hiring 350 bureaucrats good only for sucking up to their former bosses.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Library: Bad. Hockey: Good!

I'm on a roll today, thought I'd keep going for one more...

As I mentioned below in the fireworks rant, Rockford, IL is in the top 10 cities in the U.S. with its ultra high unemployment rates. Needless to say, the city itself is desperately slashing budgets and services to its citizens. Among these are homeless shelters, clinics, the public library, and much more.

NOT among the budget cuts is an ADDITIONAL $1 MILLION likely to be given to the local concert hall, the Metro Center. To be clear, it is more than $1 MILLION EACH YEAR for the next 3 YEARS. Meanwhile, the library's budget cuts will be permanent.
I might add, that a very small percentage of the city uses the Metro Center on a regular basis and many of us have never been there at all. Last year they had a 80's Hair Band concert that didn't even fill the stadium halfway. They also host the local minor league hockey team that NEVER fills the stadium even halfway.

Cutting services, adding corruption.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

(I have no sources to quote. This is just what I understand of the politics in my town.)

Legislating vehicle capacity

Allstate ran a full page ad on the back of this weeks Newsweek. I was going to scan it in, but I'm not going to give them the free impressions by posting it online...
They are a big fan of the STANDUP act of 2009, in which we will have our federal government choose and impose the minimum driving age, limit nighttime driving, limit in-car distractions, and caps the number of passengers allowed in the car with young drivers.

Yes. Our federal government shouldn't be worried about economic collapse, health coverage, Iran, China, the loss of our manufacturing base, etc. No. Instead they should worry about how many friends your kid has in their car. Then we should pay cops to enforce these laws.

What made me laugh out loud was one of their prominent statistics in bold:
When states [up the minimum driving age to 17] the number of fatal crashes among 16 year old drivers has fallen by almost 40%.
Someone will HAVE to explain to me how the number of fatalities among 16 year old drivers is reduced by less than half by eliminating 16 year old drivers? And, where are the statistics for 17 year old drivers? I'll bet their fatality rate went up, oh, about 40%.

As you can tell by the last post and this one, I am feeling really nit-picky today. ...
I am sure this is all very reasonable and I wouldn't be surprised if the statistics are reasonable. However, do we really want our government to sit around an legislate how many passengers we can have in our cars based on our age?

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Dog 'n' Ponyworks

As we approach the birthday of this great nation, I am forced to ponder the penchant for our local and regional governments who are cutting back on a swath of social services yet still find the budget room to have a giant fireworks display.

How about the $150,000 Clevelend OH spends on their display, including extra cops and port-a-johns. This year, they wouldn't have been able to afford such an extravagant affair if it hadn't been for one of the Councilmen brave and bold enough to cut a check from the council's fund.
Councilman Joe Santiago is pissing our tax dollars away - What is wrong with this picture?

How about Moreno Valley California, where they cut 2 hours from their festivities and hired local talent instead of Eddie Money to bring their average spending on fourth of july celebrations from $140,000 down to $80,000.
Several Inland cities cut July 4th spending

Belvidere, IL will be spending around $15,000 for their around the 4th celebration called Heritage Days. The city itself will only be spending $7,750, but with their Chrysler plant shut down, I'd guess every penny should count...
Belvidere City Council approves Heritage Days necessities

Next door, in Rockford, IL, we have one of the highest unemployment rates in the country (top 10 unemployed cities), are cutting social programs, and are cutting the library's budget by around 25%. So, lets pay a bunch of overtime for a bunch of cops to make the downtown area ready for 125,000 spectators. While this fireworks display is not funded by the city government, I can't help but wonder if there aren't a few soup kitchens that could have used the citizen's donations more wisely than 'letting freedom ring'... Go ahead, have yourself a nice steaming hot bowl of freedom ringing. See how that fills you up. (while Rockford has the highest unemployment rate in the state of Illinois, they also have the largest fireworks display... At least the locals don't have to worry about being at work the next day!)
http://www.rockfordfireandice.com/gpage1.html

On the plus side, while looking around for stories about cities bankrupting themselves for hot 'n' heavy 15 minutes, I found a lot more stories about cities exchanging their fireworks for bonfires and other more reasonable, just as exciting celebrations...

Flaming displays of testosterone...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

The Fed

Why, oh why did Eliot Spitzer have to go and get himself busted for whoring around? We need critical thinkers on the front lines, not disgraced out of public office.... *sigh*
He questions the power of the Fed and why they are asking for more and why Obama wants to give it to them in a new Slate article.

Some great questions he wishes would be asked (EA):
Where is the legal analysis showing the Fed had no power or insufficient power to intervene to save Lehman Bros.—widely viewed as the failure that precipitated the credit crisis—as it has claimed repeatedly, yet had sufficient power to orchestrate the gift of Bear Stearns assets to JPMorgan Chase? How did it differentiate between the two?

Did the Fed do any analysis of the risk that would result from AIG's potential default, and how did the Fed analyze the risk to each of AIG's counterparties?

When the Fed authorized the first $80 billion payment to AIG, almost all of which flowed directly through to counterparties, why did the Fed not arrange for taxpayers to get equity in the counterparties, rather than the essentially worthless AIG equity? What communications did the Fed have with the counterparties over this period?

What analysis had the Fed done of the general leverage ratios in the financial-services sector and the need for additional capitalization? Had it done any "stress tests" during this period, or did it believe that there would never be an economic downturn?

Since the N.Y. Fed is controlled by the very institutions that were at the heart of the meltdown, and these institutions used the Fed to give themselves hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars to resuscitate their balance sheets without any public scrutiny, will the Fed release any conflict-of-interest rules it has in place to assure the public that board members do not act on policies that will affect their own corporate interests?

Six of the nine members of the N.Y. Fed board are supposed to be "public" representatives, yet these individuals have all too often been CEOs of major corporations or financial entities. How does the Fed define "public" board members, and what is the process by which those board members are selected?

The Fed itself states that "the safety, soundness and vitality of our economic system" is its responsibility. How exactly are these terms measured? By GDP growth? Bank profits? Job growth? Growth of median household income? Without knowing how it will measure success, how can we measure whether the Fed is succeeding or failing?

How does the Fed believe it can regulate "systemic risk" meaningfully if institutions remain "too big to fail," necessitating that the federal government be an insurer of their risk in any serious downturn?

Has any thought been given to refocusing on a financial services model that has more smaller institutions and fewer mega banks, thus diversifying risk?

Leaving the reins in the hands of those who fucked us in the first place...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Oil for sale

Now that we've spent $683,942,908,585.08 (according to the zFacts ticker and links to the left at the top of this page at 2:22AM CST) on 'liberating' the Iraqis, its time they start reaping some of this fine Oil Money they been hearin' all about.

What do we get in return? Shoes thrown at us.

The Headline Reads:
Iraqi oil for sale in TV auction(bbc)
A goddamn auction between giants such as Royal Dutch Shell and Exxon Mobil for the rights to rape and pillage the land and oil reserves being aired on TV. This must be an exciting moment for them. (The Iraqis) (Well, the suits too...)

Aw fuck it.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Here's some fun quotes:
The US budget for Iraq in FY 2007 came to $4,988/Iraqi. This is triple Iraq's per-person GDP. It's like spending $121,000 per person ($484,000 per family of 4) in the US. Why not just bribe the whole country?

"If we don't stop extending our troops all around the world in nation-building missions, then
we're going to have a serious problem." — George W. Bush, Jan. 2001

What happened to kicking somebody's ass and taking their stuff? All the war, none of the spoils?

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Picking winners; choosing losers (pt. 3)

I knew back in October that it was a bad sign when the federal government started deciding which banks would succeed (with bailouts) and which banks would be allowed to fail. It seemed even scarier when the fed began deciding which industries it would help through these tough times while ignoring the others. Now the Fed has let all this power go to its head as it begins picking and choosing which facilities will be closed or remain open...

When the new GM team (You've seen the commercials we're paying for: They're not going out of business, they're getting down to business.) decided that the Norton parts distribution center in Massachusetts needed to be closed. It is not clear why they decided this center should be closed, but I'll bet it was more than a dart being thrown at a map of GM facilities.

However, there is a small chain of relevant circumstances that far outweigh their professionally analyzed conclusions which GM forgot to consider:
1.) Rep. Barney Frank represents Norton, Mass.
2.) Rep. Barney Frank heads the Financial Services Committee
3.) The Financial Services Committee pretty much owns GM now.
4.) Rep. Barney 'NIMBY' Frank doesn't like closing facilities in his district.

So, under the guise of being environmentally concerned, he visited the government-installed CEO GM employees calls boss, Fritz 'The Puppet' Henderson. In this meeting he explained to 'The Puppet' that he was just a puppet and that while just about anyone in our government can have a tug at his strings, Barney is one of the few puppet masters holding the strings up. Then, he explained that closing the facility in his district would increase global warming because those parts would have to be shipped to New England from Philadelphia instead. Not entirely inaccurate, but lets assume that in its place, the Phillie facility gets closed instead. Will that not mean that the Eastern Great Lakes region would have to get theirs shipped from New England?

And, of course, the boss gets what the boss wants. GM no longer finds it necessary to close that facility as a part of its re-structuring.

The government exerts supreme power over its new puppets under the guise of environmentalism, proving that regardless of what they say, our government IS in the business of running the automotive industry...
Not long ago, I respected Barney Frank.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

When you wish upon a star

When an 18 year old Belgian girl went in to get a tattoo, she went all out. She got stars across half her face. There is no mention of what she was on when she thought this was a good idea, but... ... I imagine it was good.

When she got home to daddy she got the reaction she had hoped for, outrage. But, it turned out to be a bit more outrage than she was prepared to handle so she went into defense mode and explained to daddy that it wasn't her fault. She is indeed a victim and one that he shouldn't be so angry at anymore.

Her claim is that she had asked for 3 stars but had fallen asleep and woke up right exactly when he finished the 56th star. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it just about fucking impossible to fall asleep when there is someone digging in your face with a needle stabbing you up to 3,000 times per minute? I'm sure she kinda got numbish in that area after awhile, but half of her face? (There is even one on her ear!)

His claim seems much more reasonable to me. After just about every star he stopped and asked her if she was certain she wanted him to continue, knowing full well that she would learn to regret this moment for the rest of her life. If you'll watch the BBC story clip, you'll even notice at the very end of the segment when they spend a tenth of the story time telling his side of the story, that he has her picture in his portfolio. In it, she is not smiling, but she is also not crying, running out of the parlor, or displaying any signs of distress. No, she's posing. Posing to display a job well done.

Of course, the moment she told her daddy the lie, she stuck to it and is suing the artist.

THIS is whybelgianspaytaxes.

read more: Belgian girl's tattoo 'nightmare' (bbc)

Psycho

That title is a reference to the movie. And, of course, this post...

When Mr[s]. Thomas Prusin-Parkin's (First flag: Dude with a hyphenated last name) mother died in 2003, he just couldn't bear to let her [identity] go. So, he provided the funeral director with a fake ss# and assumed her identity. Ever since her death, [s]he would put on a wig and some makeup, grab her walking stick and collect social security checks and rent subsidies, visit banks, appear in court[!], file for bankruptcy[!!], and renew her driver's liscense[!!!]. (He even got a friend to pose as a nephew while getting her liscense...)

The late Mrs. Prusik still gettin' her shit done.

In the end, Tom 'Mom' Prusin-Parkin collected over $115,000 directly from the government. No totals were given on the material gains on the bankruptcy...

At least no one got stabbed while taking a shower!

THIS is whyipaytaxes...

read more: US man 'posed as his dead mother' (bbc)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Fashion Police Strike Again

While there are a LOT of people out there that shouldn't wear short shorts, it is my opinion that no one should go to jail for wearing them...

However, a judge in Kentucky wouldn't see it my way as she sentenced a woman to 3 days in jail (My Cousin Vinny style) for wearing short shorts (Far from Daisy Dukes) to her hearing.

Don't get me wrong, she's no prize: She had been warned about her wardrobe before and she was in there for something like drunk driving into a grave stone.
However, jail? For 3 days? Your tax dollars at work!

THIS is whykentuckianspaytaxes.

watch the story: wkyt

Do as I say (Not as I do)

Its a short one. I'll just cut n paste the intro which says it all:
A Maryland state delegate who called for "DUI" license plates that would be issued to people convicted more than once of drunken driving has been charged with driving under the influence himself. (fox)

While he may be a hypocrite, at least his plan for DUI license plates warrants some consideration...

Sunday, June 7, 2009

When 72 year old great grandmothers go bad

Much like the 70 year old woman who got beat down in Utah last year because her lawn was not the appropriate shade of green, a cop in Texas recently tasered a 72 year old woman for refusing to sign a speeding ticket even though she was not required to do so by law.

Well, she started swearing enough to make the cop blush. And what else is a cop supposed to do when he is driven to blushing? The Taser, yeah yeah, the Taser.

In a situation where a fully grown man, trained to handle himself in emergencies, decides to incapacitate a little old lady with tens of thousands of volts of electricity, its the 72 year old woman who goes to jail for resisting arrest.

Testosterone befuddled police salaries and the court cases and jail terms they create...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Fallout boys

It has been more than 50 years since the British government thought it might be a good idea to take their bored troops, send them far away, (Easter Island, Australia, and others) and make them watch nuclear explosions. To be fair, some were allowed to wear sunglasses.
(The U.S. did the same, but we passed an act to provide compensation in the 1960 Radiation Exposure Compensation Act)

Rather than own up, the government has gone through various stages of denial. However, they must have figured out that enough of them have already died and that it might not be so catastrophic to compensate those who remain.

Rather than compensate the remaining victims, the High Court has ruled that these ex-servicemen are able to sue the government for compensation. Yes, even when they admit defeat, the ex-servicemen must go through the time and effort of suing the government to be compensated for being government issued guinea pigs over 50 years ago.

Years of denial, now years of trial. At least they can be proud of the actual compensation claims paid out...

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.

Read More: Nuclear veterans win right to sue

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Advertising for souls

I don't think I'm alone in this assumption:
ANY organization that can afford to run full page ads in a national magazine such as Newsweek (Current rate for a 4-color full page ad: $226,590) can probably afford to pay their fair share of taxes.

Can someone please explain to me why churches don't have to pay taxes? Anyone?
Especially now that they are competing with non-government-subsidized businesses for ad space? You can't tell me there isn't a medium sized business or two out there that would LOVE to buy some ad space in Newsweek but paid their taxes instead...

Helping churches harvest souls.

THIS is whyipaytaxes. (so they don't have to)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Who Knew? (Part 4)

Peter Schiff, That's who. (wikip.)
I am half-assedly posting about articles I've seen that point out those anointed few who not only saw, to some extent, financial collapse coming, but had the balls to try and fight it publicly, up front. See also, part 1 (Iris Mack), part 2 (Byron Dorgan), part 3 (Elizabeth Warren))Please comment to this or any Who Knew? post when you see one of those who were willing to stake their reputation by pointing out our crash course with economic crisis in times where everyone else let the good times roll.

So, why haven't you heard of this genius yet?
Because, silly, he hasn't made me any money yet!
(aka: Because, silly, he still thinks its going to get worse!)

He saw it coming and took every chance he had to publicly debate the collapse of our credit and housing markets. This includes a book with his prediction in the title: Crash Proof: How to Profit From the Coming Economic Collapse which was released in 2007.
In many of the public forums he used to try to get his message across, he was literally laughed at, or at least smirked at in epic proportions of condescension. (Epic, because he was right and he was right on a big thing (right, Ben Stein?)

It would be best if you watched a 'victory lap' video made by a fan: (there are plenty of other videos to watch too!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2I0QN-FYkpw

Despite his predictions throughout 2006 and 2007 of the upcoming economic collapse and the fact that he stood his ground because he knew he was right, he is generally not lauded as the economic seer he is. You would expect people to cling to his every word, to make notes of every gesture, to analyze his every thought after being right about the coming crash.

But, as it turns out, all of his short term investment picks since the economic collapse have been wrong. Now, he only gets speaking engagements outside of the U.S. The only press he gets include headlines of his losses since the collapse.What good is seeing the future if you can't make any money off of the predictions?
Additionally, he is still generally lauded with smirks and rolled eyes as he continues to predict a worsening economy, pointing out that we are only bailing out a part of the deck in a house of cards.

After writing that paragraph, I see that he isn't necessarily a genius... He's just unwilling to ignore the evidence and refuses to assume that endless growth is possible. Not exactly groundbreaking news...

Mad props to his father, Irwin Schiff, who decided in the 1970s that federal income tax was unconstitutional and stopped paying them. (He still pays his state taxes...) His belief in this is so strong that he has been in and out of court and jail fighting for his rights ever since. Today, at 90, he sits in jail again.

Ignoring a sage for being a sage...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Read more: I found Mr. Schiff in an article painting him out to be an Extremist in the June 1 Time. Go find it yourself if you must, I'm not going to link to it from here...