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As we all know, the senate likes to keep their eyes on the ball. There is never time to rest when your a US Senator faced with all of the world's problems.
Well... You know, except for Moving Day.
As it turns out, every two years the Senate has an Office Draft. The draft picks are based on an extravagant formula designed to let those with the most experience pick their office first.
Hey.... It beats thinking about that darn economy! Plus, think of all the movers that get to keep their jobs.
Senatorial musical chairs...
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The TRUE threat
The US government has found the true threat at our Nation's borders: Vegetation. Apparently the plants along the border are guilty of aiding and abetting smugglers and have been sentenced to an immediate (this week) death by poison.
Border plants to be killed to reveal smugglers(hc)
1.1 Miles cost $2.1 MILLION. Once this has been proven effective, (I'm sure that regardless of the effectiveness it will be proven effective) they will move on to kill off the plants along a 130 miles stretch of the border.
Can you believe that poisoning the river between the US and Mexico is the answer our government gives to immigration and smuggling? I just don't get it!!
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
P.S. - While convicted of no crimes, not even smuggling so much as a doobie, the fish, vegetation, and people downstream that falls ill or dies from this poison are what we in the industry like to call 'collateral damage.' Our bad!
Border plants to be killed to reveal smugglers(hc)
1.1 Miles cost $2.1 MILLION. Once this has been proven effective, (I'm sure that regardless of the effectiveness it will be proven effective) they will move on to kill off the plants along a 130 miles stretch of the border.
Can you believe that poisoning the river between the US and Mexico is the answer our government gives to immigration and smuggling? I just don't get it!!
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
P.S. - While convicted of no crimes, not even smuggling so much as a doobie, the fish, vegetation, and people downstream that falls ill or dies from this poison are what we in the industry like to call 'collateral damage.' Our bad!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Taxed for a Crazy Woman
So, correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't we told that the various bailout funds being given to banks because if they failed there'd be catastrophic consequences?
Without these bailouts our way of life would be devestated, our economy turned into a shambles, life as we knew it would no longer be feasible, right?
So, you mean to tell me that without the Crazy Woman Creek Bancorp of Buffalo fucking Wyoming, our world would crumble down around us? Is that why they got $3.1 MILLION of MY money? Because without them, my reality would cease to fucking exist? I am really getting pissed off here...
Some other 'institutions' that support our economy. Institutions who are brave enough and bold enough to ensure smooth flowing capital and trade around the world. Who are single handedly keeping you in your job:
Hometown Bancorp of Alabama in Oneonta Alabama.
The Private Bank of California.
DeSoto County Bank in Horn Lake Mississippi.
First Express of Nebraska.
The Little Bank Incorporated in Kinston NC.
Were it not for these pillars of our economy all would be lost. Too big to fail.
The complete list of TARP and various other government bailout fund recipients can be found here:
http://ustreas.gov/initiatives/eesa/docs/transaction_report_02-24-09.pdf
Too big to fail my ass...
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
Silver lining?
If Bush were still in charge of giving away this money, there wouldn't be a published list...
Without these bailouts our way of life would be devestated, our economy turned into a shambles, life as we knew it would no longer be feasible, right?
So, you mean to tell me that without the Crazy Woman Creek Bancorp of Buffalo fucking Wyoming, our world would crumble down around us? Is that why they got $3.1 MILLION of MY money? Because without them, my reality would cease to fucking exist? I am really getting pissed off here...
Some other 'institutions' that support our economy. Institutions who are brave enough and bold enough to ensure smooth flowing capital and trade around the world. Who are single handedly keeping you in your job:
Hometown Bancorp of Alabama in Oneonta Alabama.
The Private Bank of California.
DeSoto County Bank in Horn Lake Mississippi.
First Express of Nebraska.
The Little Bank Incorporated in Kinston NC.
Were it not for these pillars of our economy all would be lost. Too big to fail.
The complete list of TARP and various other government bailout fund recipients can be found here:
http://ustreas.gov/initiatives/eesa/docs/transaction_report_02-24-09.pdf
Too big to fail my ass...
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
Silver lining?
If Bush were still in charge of giving away this money, there wouldn't be a published list...
Friday, March 20, 2009
Tradin' Paint (Part 2)
Last month I had a good hearty laugh when the French and British decided to run their subs into each other. Good times indeed.
However, At least their collision was:
1.) between 2 different navies
2.) in relatively friendly waters
3.) between subs that were actively trying to be discreet.
When the US does it, we do it in style.
We run into OURSELVES, we hit a submarine with a boat, and we do it all off the coast of Iran.
You can't buy this kind of humor! US navy vessels collide in Gulf (bbc)
Oh, wait.... We just did.
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
However, At least their collision was:
1.) between 2 different navies
2.) in relatively friendly waters
3.) between subs that were actively trying to be discreet.
When the US does it, we do it in style.
We run into OURSELVES, we hit a submarine with a boat, and we do it all off the coast of Iran.
You can't buy this kind of humor! US navy vessels collide in Gulf (bbc)
Oh, wait.... We just did.
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
No Child Left Unscathed
School sponsored, no, wait...
School sanctioned... Not quite...
School REQUIRED cage fights.
The principal: Put 'em "in the cage and let 'em duke it out" (bbc)
The salary of a guy who thought this was cool and he'd be able to pull of High School Cage Fights without a hitch...
THIS is whyTEXANSpaytaxes.
School sanctioned... Not quite...
School REQUIRED cage fights.
The principal: Put 'em "in the cage and let 'em duke it out" (bbc)
The salary of a guy who thought this was cool and he'd be able to pull of High School Cage Fights without a hitch...
THIS is whyTEXANSpaytaxes.
Going Green
This has got to be the absolute best thing the residents of Paris California could be doing with their tax revenues. It just HAS to be!
California town to spray-paint lawn bald spots(msnbc)
As my good friend Sherwin Williams says: Cover the earth [in paint].
THIS is whyparisianspaytaxes.
California town to spray-paint lawn bald spots(msnbc)
As my good friend Sherwin Williams says: Cover the earth [in paint].
THIS is whyparisianspaytaxes.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
SIPC, Please buy my mistake
I've been listening to npr pretty heavily for a couple years now. For the first time, I heard a story repeated this week. And wouldn't you know it, it was one of those stories that makes me question why I listen to npr...
A rather whiny lady, Ronnie Sue Ambersino, was dumb enough to invest everything she had into one fund: Madoff's. (That's day one shit. NEVER put all your eggs in one basket.)
Ron and her husband retired in their 40s, sold everything they owned, and what they didn't spend on their RV they gave to good ol' Bernie.
Now she thinks that the SIPC should reimburse her, not only for her losses, but for her last statement balance. This is only fair because when they moved into the RV, she threw away all of her paperwork. She only has the latest statement available. But that is our fault taxpayers, and we should cover it.
Her take on it is that we should not only pay her for the money she lost, but we should ALSO pay her for the money promised to her by a scam artist. She argues: Why not? I made all the right decisions, I worked hard, blah, blah, blah. The problem is: She obviously did NOT make all the right decisions!!! (I won't even mention her thinking she has a right to retire in her 40s (If you can afford it, do it. If you give all your money to a scam artist, don't count on it! You certainly don't deserve to retire in your 40's because you made 'right' decisions...))
I'd like to see this one enacted fairly and accross the board. Hell, lets try it. For everyone that sends me $1, I will send you $50,000. I'll even draw up some fancy looking paperwork to make it all official like. Then, when I can't pay you the $50,000, you can complain to the SIPC and demand that because I can't pay you, they must.
Don't get me wrong. Bernie is a baaad man. Very bad. But nobody owe's the fools that gave him their money anything. They got what they needed: one of life's little lessons... No one gets a mulligan.
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
A rather whiny lady, Ronnie Sue Ambersino, was dumb enough to invest everything she had into one fund: Madoff's. (That's day one shit. NEVER put all your eggs in one basket.)
Ron and her husband retired in their 40s, sold everything they owned, and what they didn't spend on their RV they gave to good ol' Bernie.
Now she thinks that the SIPC should reimburse her, not only for her losses, but for her last statement balance. This is only fair because when they moved into the RV, she threw away all of her paperwork. She only has the latest statement available. But that is our fault taxpayers, and we should cover it.
Her take on it is that we should not only pay her for the money she lost, but we should ALSO pay her for the money promised to her by a scam artist. She argues: Why not? I made all the right decisions, I worked hard, blah, blah, blah. The problem is: She obviously did NOT make all the right decisions!!! (I won't even mention her thinking she has a right to retire in her 40s (If you can afford it, do it. If you give all your money to a scam artist, don't count on it! You certainly don't deserve to retire in your 40's because you made 'right' decisions...))
I'd like to see this one enacted fairly and accross the board. Hell, lets try it. For everyone that sends me $1, I will send you $50,000. I'll even draw up some fancy looking paperwork to make it all official like. Then, when I can't pay you the $50,000, you can complain to the SIPC and demand that because I can't pay you, they must.
Don't get me wrong. Bernie is a baaad man. Very bad. But nobody owe's the fools that gave him their money anything. They got what they needed: one of life's little lessons... No one gets a mulligan.
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Respect for the law of the land
Finally, the Feds have decided to respect the wishes of Californians and the laws of their land.
California Marijuana Dispensaries Cheer U.S. Shift on Raids(wsj)
Unlike Bush's A.G.s, Attorney General Holder has decided not to raid medical marijuana facilities that are legal and kosher with various state governments. Rather than relying on easy busts for padded statistics in the war on drugs, the Fed can now go back to some good ol' fashioned police work and start busting some of those meth labs or heroin rings. I mean, how hard was it to look in the yellow pages for your next 'gotta meet my quota' bust?
Now lets get on with taxing the stuff so potheads can feel at home in society while paying more than their fair share of taxes. Beats paying to keep them in jail!
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
California Marijuana Dispensaries Cheer U.S. Shift on Raids(wsj)
Unlike Bush's A.G.s, Attorney General Holder has decided not to raid medical marijuana facilities that are legal and kosher with various state governments. Rather than relying on easy busts for padded statistics in the war on drugs, the Fed can now go back to some good ol' fashioned police work and start busting some of those meth labs or heroin rings. I mean, how hard was it to look in the yellow pages for your next 'gotta meet my quota' bust?
Now lets get on with taxing the stuff so potheads can feel at home in society while paying more than their fair share of taxes. Beats paying to keep them in jail!
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
Monday, March 9, 2009
This one'll make you sick...
Potentially: literally...
As is often the case, the article I read(ni) said it best:
the FDA simply does not have the manpower to oversee every food processor in the country. So the agency actually relies on private firms to police the U.S. food supply
Yup. The FDA is too busy to do its job. So it doesn't.
I mean, there really isn't much else to say, is there?
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
As is often the case, the article I read(ni) said it best:
the FDA simply does not have the manpower to oversee every food processor in the country. So the agency actually relies on private firms to police the U.S. food supply
Yup. The FDA is too busy to do its job. So it doesn't.
I mean, there really isn't much else to say, is there?
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Cook County Sheriff sues Craig's List
The Sheriff of Cook County Illinois (the county that the bulk of Chicago is in) has decided to sue Craig's List because some entrepreneurial pimps discovered that the List is a great way to publicize their pimpin'.
I'll pose my question this way: If they found an ad about some pot for sale tacked up to the bulletin board in a local grocery store, would they sue Kroger?
Or, might they pull down the posting, all the while chuckling about the easy bust they are about to receive?
With 510 homicides in 2008 and 21 Public School shooting deaths in the first 2 months of 2009, you would think that Sheriff Dart would have more pressing matters for his department's time and resources. Suing an online bulletin board style service for allowing the residents of his county buy and sell things to each other just because some of those things sold are of a carnal nature just doesn't seem like a reasonable focus to me.
Am I the only one that would think Sheriff Dart should have looked at the whole thing as a great opportunity to bust as many pimps as possible before they realized that a Craig's List posting meant their certain demise? I mean, if anyone can get on Craig's List and find themselves a whore or two, then why aren't the cops able to do the same?
Maybe, as their next idea, they could start suing the business owners that own shops on popular corners where hookers congregate.
AND, I might add, since when is it the sheriff's responsibility to initiate civil law suits? Don't they pursue criminal offenses? The way I understand it: It is the responsibility of the police to go out and find criminals and evidence of their crimes. Its the District Attorney's job to bring them to justice in the courts. If the DA won't take the case, the Sheriff should take the hint.
Cops suing businesses 'cause its easier than doing their jobs...
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
I'll pose my question this way: If they found an ad about some pot for sale tacked up to the bulletin board in a local grocery store, would they sue Kroger?
Or, might they pull down the posting, all the while chuckling about the easy bust they are about to receive?
With 510 homicides in 2008 and 21 Public School shooting deaths in the first 2 months of 2009, you would think that Sheriff Dart would have more pressing matters for his department's time and resources. Suing an online bulletin board style service for allowing the residents of his county buy and sell things to each other just because some of those things sold are of a carnal nature just doesn't seem like a reasonable focus to me.
Am I the only one that would think Sheriff Dart should have looked at the whole thing as a great opportunity to bust as many pimps as possible before they realized that a Craig's List posting meant their certain demise? I mean, if anyone can get on Craig's List and find themselves a whore or two, then why aren't the cops able to do the same?
Maybe, as their next idea, they could start suing the business owners that own shops on popular corners where hookers congregate.
AND, I might add, since when is it the sheriff's responsibility to initiate civil law suits? Don't they pursue criminal offenses? The way I understand it: It is the responsibility of the police to go out and find criminals and evidence of their crimes. Its the District Attorney's job to bring them to justice in the courts. If the DA won't take the case, the Sheriff should take the hint.
Cops suing businesses 'cause its easier than doing their jobs...
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Found it!
They found the mysterious hole that our tax money has been disappearing into. Turns out, its Countrywide! Yay!
Former Countrywide Execs Making Bank From Crisis(slate)
If this one doesn't piss you off, you must be dead inside.
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
Former Countrywide Execs Making Bank From Crisis(slate)
If this one doesn't piss you off, you must be dead inside.
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
$77M TARP
What they should have done was just take over the banks and send the former employees regular ol' tarps [to live under].
In 2008 banks spent $77 MILLION on lobbying and campaign contributions. In exchange they got a giant TARP worth $700 BILLION in cash. Not a bad return on investment. Open Secrets did the math: 258,449% ROI.
Not too shabby at all...
List of banks that received TARP funds.(br)
Providing humanitarian aid in time of disaster...
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
In 2008 banks spent $77 MILLION on lobbying and campaign contributions. In exchange they got a giant TARP worth $700 BILLION in cash. Not a bad return on investment. Open Secrets did the math: 258,449% ROI.
Not too shabby at all...
List of banks that received TARP funds.(br)
Providing humanitarian aid in time of disaster...
THIS is whyipaytaxes.
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