Ya did a heckuva job, Coxie

Like putting a horse breeder in charge of federal emergencies, Bush had also put a guy against regulating wall street in charge of regulating wall street. The results is a federal agency that investigated Madoff several times, but couldn't find evidence of any wrong doing.

One of the weekends in which we went from oh fuck to we're fucked, the weekend the Fed bailed out BearStearns, the head of the SEC couldn't be bothered with silly little financial crises, oh no. Instead he gave a speech at the birthday party of a friend and had to sleep it off the next day. A few days later, he went on his long planned Carribean vacation.

One of the main guys responsible for avoiding financial meltdown was nowhere to be seen as the economy melted down...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Things are tough all over

Our boy shows up, overcoming adversity along the way, to a police entrance exam in the town that had an open robbery investigation in which he was the wanted suspect. They arrested him before he could finish the test.

US suspect applied to join police (bbc)

This guy is but a small change annoyance to our overall tax burden, but we will be paying for his room and board for some time to come...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Early results on successful earmarks

The recently passed stimulus bill is massive. Only slightly more massive than the one passed late last year.

As I discussed regarding last years bailout, Taxpayers for Common Sense is again taking a close look at the bill to see what kind of earmarks our beloved congress has added to an emergency bill sure to pass. The bill was only recently released, but they are hard at work. Here's a few of my favorite pet projects we will be paying for to 'stimulate' the economy. (By 'stimulate' the economy, I mean stimulating the voters in a particular district to vote for the same guy again next time)

• $713,625 Woody Biomass at SUNY-ESF. Walsh and Schumer sponsors
• $951,500 Sustainable Las Vegas. Berkeley and Reid sponsors.
• $24,000 A+ for Abstinence. Specter is sponsor.
• $300,000 Montana World Trade Center. Rehberg sponsor.
• $950,000 Myrtle Beach International Trade and Convention Center. Graham sponsor.
• $200,000 Oil Region Alliance. Peterson sponsor.
• $190,000 Buffalo Bill Historical Center, Cody, WY for digitizing and editing the Cody collection. Barbara Cubin is the sponsor
• $143,000 Las Vegas Natural History Museum, Las Vegas, NV, to expand natural history education programs. Sponsored by Harry Reid
• $238,000 for the Polynesian Voyaging Society, Honolulu, HI, for educational programs. Sen. Daniel Inouye is the sponsor.
• $381,000 for Jazz at Lincoln Center, New York, NY for music education programs. Jerrold Nadler is the sponsor.

Notes:
That is over $1 MILLION spent in Vegas, complements of Reid. However, most economies find a nice Natural History Museum quite stimulating indeed.

A+ for abstinence gets $24 grand. Sentator Specter added this one for us. A+ for abstinence is ran by Pregnancy Ministries, Inc. Again, as we all know, kids not telling their parents about their sex lives is GREAT for the economy. Lets not mention this little thing called the SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND... never mind...

The Montana World Trade Center?

Myrtle Beach needs us to buy them a convention center?

A couple hundred grand for scanning in every document available that has anything to do with Buffalo Bill?

Hey. At least they put the economy first!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Shootin' rockets at fish

I'm all for the space program. I think its cool as hell and certainly worth our monumental investments. That doesn't change the fact that we threw 8 years of development and $273 MILLION on a satellite designed to monitor how carbon enters and exits our atmosphere into the ocean just south of the arctic circle.

Rocket with NASA global warming satellite crashes(ap)

Accidents will happen. And sometimes it will cost millions of dollars and a decade of government work.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Tom Toles

Jack Ohman

Thish ish your captain shpeaking: Pleashe Fashen Your Sheatbelts

The Times Online (WATCH THE VIDEO! I INSIST) set it up pretty much right:
a slurred and baffling performance at the G7 meeting in Rome, where the man at the helm of the second-biggest economy in the world appeared to be drunk.
A little later they point out that:
His embarrassment was compounded yesterday by the revelation that under Mr Nakagama’s stewardship the Japanese economy had nosedived and was now faring worse than at any time in the past 35 years.

Oh shit. The Japs got a drunk running their economy and they're going down. And I was just ignoring a Newsweek article about how Japan can save us all. You know, after the new guy gets here...

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure a handful of people in charge have turned to the bottle by now. But I'd like to think that when the people running the worlds largest 7 economies get together they can have a meeting and a press conference or 2 without getting shitfaced.

Hey, it was after noon, right? Lets get this party started!

THIS is whyjapanesepaytaxes.

The Sweet Stench of Illinois Politics (2 of 2)

Pat "Breath of Fresh (Outta Chicago) Air" Quinn:
Yesterday he appointed the Chief Operating Officer for Illinois, Jack Lavin.

Who better to reside over the spending of the federal stimulus bill passed this week than one of Tony Rezko's former aids? If there is anyone that knows how to make federal money disappear it'd be one of Tony's cronies.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

The Sweet Stench of Illinois Politics (1 of 2)

Roland "I tried to be guilty but I'm not" Burris:
January 5th sworn affidavit (not an actual quote):
I've never talked to anyone from the Blagojevich administration about filling Obama's Senate seat.

January 8th Ro's sworn testimony (not an actual quote):
I contacted Blagojevich's chief of staff to let him know I too dreamed of being in the Senate.

February 5th Ro releases a 'Clarification Affidavit'* (not an actual quote):
By I've never talked to anyone from the Blagojevich administration, I meant that I had spoken at length three times with Rod's brother Rob. But, you know, we just talked about stuff. No Senate seat discussions.
(yes. Rod's brother is named Rob.)

February 16th Ro speaks to the press (not an actual quote):
At Rob's request, I tried to hold 3 fund raisers for Blagojevich in exchange for the Senate seat but I couldn't get anyone to donate any money to him. So I'm obviously not guilty of any wrong doing because my efforts to buy the senate seat were not fruitful pursuits.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

* The 2/5 'clarification affidavit' was released after Ro realized there was a significant chance that the FBI tapes in use at the Blago investigation have ol' Ro chatting up a storm. It wasn't brought up at the impeachment trial, and with this 'clarification affidavit' he'd be able to say that he tried to clear the air. Too bad he was lying in his 'clarification affidavit' too. (It was released 2/5 but did not emerge until 2/14)

(slate)

Water logged

Followed a fun link to the EPA from a slate article.

Turns out the EPA has put some thought, time, and energy to where and how you can toss a body overboard for a sea burial. (Must be at least 3 miles from the coast. Inland lakes vary by state, but a permit is required.)

What made me chuckle is one question:

FOR NON-CREMATED REMAINS
	Did the remains appear to rapidly sink to the ocean floor? Yes ( ) No ( )

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

(Another, un-tax related but pretty cool way to go: In the other procedure, called promession, a corpse gets freeze-dried with liquid nitrogen and then shattered into powder, Terminator-style. )

There must be someone to sue

George Baldwin, who is 19, parties hardy with a bunch of other teenagers, gets smashed, and decides to drive home. In an amazing twist of unforeseen events, he gets into an accident that leaves him paralyzed from the waist down. (Prior to this he had only been paralyzed from the neck up.) A friend is also injured, but was still able to point and laugh under his own power.

So. This tragic set of circumstances must be someone's fault. Its just GOT to be! (read: There has GOT to be someone to sue for this damage I've done to myself. I've already made the mistake, I can't be held responsible for it too!)

In the end, the insurance company that has insured the house they were drinking in is on the hook for $2.5 MILLION in damages. The kid is also suing the mother directly. They are liable for these damages because the mother should have known that her kids were at home drinking because they had been caught drinking before.

Young man paralyzed in crash after underage drinking party settles lawsuit against Lake Forest homeowner(ct)

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Tradin' Paint (aka When Subs Collide)

Sometimes, its just the genius of the rank and file government employees that'll set us back a couple mil from time to time...

Nuclear subs collide in Atlantic(bbc)

It was the Brits vs. the French. No injuries, no unexpected nuclear explosions. Just a couple of strangers in the night, exchanging paint.

Am I the only one a bit nervous knowing that there are so many nuclear subs in the water they'll occasionally run into each other even with todays navigation systems?

THIS is whybrits&frenchpaytaxes.

Family Support

Signe Wilkinson

Border Patrol Records releases new album

The U.S. Border Patrol has a new idea: Lets just scare the Mexicans into not wanting to come to America! (Sort of like we did with the whole collapsing economy thing...)

Yes, the USBP has released an album called Migra Corridos and given copies to all the great Mexican radio stations along the border. When they start playing these songs about people getting arrested and killed while crossing the border, those who wish to become illegal immigrants are sure to abandon their dreams.

Beats spending the money on streamlining the immigration process!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Stimulated

Wooo Hooo!!! I sure feel stimulated now!

In the end, the spend crazy liberals ended up passing a stimulus package that is about 10% higher than the last package the Bush and the Republicans passed not 6 months ago. But the Dems are the crazy spendy ones. (I actually heard a republican use the line of logic: 2 wrongs don't make a right. He basically said: Sure, us republicans have been spending money like it is going out of style for the last 8 years, but that doesn't mean the Democrats can do the same!) (No reference. I was watching CSPAN and forgot to note who was talking at the time...)

I noticed one bit of spin used to soften expectations a bit. Its strange how adding just two words can really change the substance of a sentence. Mr. Obama: the plan will "save or create more than 3.5 million jobs". [ea] (bbc)
So. He's no longer telling us his plan will create new jobs. Now he's just saying that as long as 3.5 million people keep their jobs, he's done his. Sweet technicalities...

Spending $787 BILLION now to avoid the discomfort our children will experience when the bill comes due...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Not getting what you wanted in life? Sue!

Woman Sues Sac State Over Homecoming Queen Bid(c13)

But don't worry, the 46 year old isn't upset that a woman half her age won:
"I am not a sore loser; it's just the principle of everything,"
Its not about her at all. Its the principalities!

Crazy ladies suing public universities...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

(Who said women don't experience mid life crises?)

The Shield

There isn't much to say. I don't even have to frame this one in a sarcastic light. No set up needed on my part. I could have just posted the headline and called it a good post.

St. Louis Police Chief Wears $5,900 Badge(slp)

Not only did the chief need a $6,000 badge adorning his chest, but the five officers under him got badges at a cost of $1,987 EACH. The rest of the cops' badges cost about $19.87.

If you ever were to accidentally kill a high ranking cop in St. Louis, its probably worth your time to steal his badge and sell it as scrap gold...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Bribing Judges

Ok... Bribing a judge to get your son's rape charges dropped or your wife's dui thrown out is one thing. Its a bitch knowing that sort of thing is only for the rich and happens on a regular basis, but at least its a onsey twosey bribe the judge, save MY ass thing. Unfair but rare(ish.)

But for the prison to bribe the judge to go ahead and fill 'er up to capacity is downright fucked up. In Pennsylvania, they found 2 judges that accepted $2.6 MILLION in bribes from a couple of local juvenile detention facilities. In exchange for this cash, the judges simply turned their court into a scene from Pink Floyd's The Wall. In some cases the children had approximately 2 minutes in court; just enough time to send him to the highest bidder. One kid spent 3 days in a detention center and 4 months in a 'wilderness camp' because a cop accused him of acting as a lookout while his friend stole games from a Walmart. Kid didn't even do nothing wrong, he just chose the wrong day to hang out with that friend.

Just another day at the Wilkes-Barre Juvie Court!

Technically, not only did taxpayers pay to imprison their children with disregard for the rule of law, but the money was also a part of the profits that enabled the $2.6 MILLION in bribes... (and how about the judges salaries and expense accounts?)

Pa. judges accused of jailing kids for cash(y!)

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Don't worry folks, your kids are safe with us...

So, a year has passed since the mindless massacre that took place on the campus of Northern Illinois University. What a bang up time to reflect on what we've learned and how we are going to keep your children safe from classroom violence:


Bullet proof cop Prius'!!! (Priusi?) That will keep our children safe as they sit inside of buildings. Yay!

Oh, oh! and they're re-modeling the main public safety office. With new chairs and plush carpeting the public safety officers will be much more relaxed and capable crime fighters.

We're also paying some cops to 'sit in' on classes all undercover-like.

Ahhh, yes. I'd say the Director of Public Safety saw his chance and went for the gold. I can't imagine who authorized and how much federal money went to getting them bullet proof shields in their cars... (They were so proud, they just had to get a picture of 'em.)

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Diplomacy Joe

Good ol' Biden is starting to contribute to the effort. Check out his words:

"I'm frankly concerned when I hear the United States is planning a major commitment for Afghanistan but other allies are already ruling out doing more," he said, without specifying which allies.

"That is not good for the political balance ... and it also makes the calls for Europe's' voice to be heard in Washington perhaps a bit more hollow than they should be." (bbc)

Not to be forgotten on the world stage, Good ol' Larijani:

"The old carrot and stick policy must be discarded," he said, referring to Western threats and offers of rewards to coax Iran to give up nuclear activities.

He said the US needed to change its tactics "to a chess game from a boxing match".(bbc)

Fightin' with fightin' words instead of sending our children off to kill each other. Now THAT'S diplomacy...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Tie in

The last post about California spending its resources to legislate what can and cannot be done in one's home puts the IOU post a few down about how California can't even afford to give taxpayer's their money back into perspective.

Maybe they should spend more time pulling their heads out of their asses than they should spend wondering if thats a piece of corn they see.

What you can and cannot do (In your home)

I truly hope this one doesn't get out of hand. I can't think of anything more unconstitutional than dictating what people can and cannot do in their own homes. Even if they are renting said home from another.

In Belmont California, it is now illegal to smoke inside of apartments. Headlining the pissed off responses is 72 year old Edith Fredrickson. After smoking 2 packs a day for over 50 years, she is now enraged to find out that “They’re telling you how to live and what to do, and they’re doing it right here in America.”

Like I've said before: It should be up to the bar owner as to whether or not s/he wants a smoke free establishment. It should also be up to the apartment building owner to consider how important it is to him/her if s/he wants to dictate what tenants can do in their own apartments. In NO case should big government be the one to decide such things.

This one scares me. I'll bet they start breaking out that 'third hand smoke' study that was released last month... What fun to watch our personal rights get swallowed up by an ever-expanding government that is barely functional at best. As stated in the NYT article:
Public health advocates are closely watching to see what happens with Belmont, seeing it as a new front in their national battle against tobacco, one that seeks to place limits on smoking in buildings where tenants share walls, ceilings and — by their logic — air. ... none has gone as far as Belmont, which prohibits smoking in any apartment that shares a floor or ceiling with another, including condominiums.

Legislating what little old ladies can and can't do in their own homes...

THIS is whycalifornianspaytaxes.

An arm and a leg

Multiply that times thousands, toss in thousands of deaths, and you get the cost of politicians putting their careers ahead of their jobs.

The military knew in 1994 that humvees were, as they called it, a "deathtrap."
However, while considering a different fleet of safer vehicles,
The Pentagon didn't develop such a fleet because championing the vehicles wasn't seen in the '90s as a "good career move," said John Pike of Globalsecurity.org. The military had spent hundreds of millions on Humvees and drawn-out ground wars were seen as a thing of the past, he said. (usat)

And, of course, that brilliant strategist and great humanitarian Donald "Go to war with the Army you have" Rumsfeld and his cronies ignored the boys on the ground in 2005.
Combat Development Command did not create a plan to field the vehicles or obtain funding for them despite receiving an urgent request from field commanders in Iraq for MRAPs in February 2005.(usat)

Its all under investigation now, but I imagine there are a lot of pretty bold men and women that had the balls to defend their country (even if many of them didn't realize what that meant) wishes they would have investigated it up front.

The military politicians in the pentagon in pursuit of the American dream at the cost of thousands of other Americans' Dreams...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Tough crowd

A few days ago, I wrote about Daschle and Geithner and their and their forays into the wonderful world of tax evasion. I had completely missed the news that our [almost] Chief Performance Officer Nancy Killifer had to step down because of her tax evasion. (Don't worry, its not really tax evasion when you simply aren't paying the payroll taxes on your illegal immigrants...) Now Daschle has stepped down as well.

So. Wow. Are there any Democrats left that have paid there taxes? We could really use a functional government right now! Preferrably not someone who knows their way around the system so well that they have completely worked their own way around the system...

Paying our taxes so our government officials don't have to...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

(little did we know that change we can beleive in simply meant they wanted to change the people that were actively scamming the system! I love that the same people who are willing to scam the IRS out of their personal tax burdens are the same folks we are to beleive can be trusted with white house power...)

IOU (Your money back)

Tonight has been a good night for me to catch up on some of the things I've missed lately...

California's IOU Tax Refunds(onion)
Calif. Taxpayers Due Refunds May Get IOUs(nbc) (I saw it at the onion first...)

Either way, the headlines sum it up. The money that Californians pay out of each and every one of their paychecks without delay and without question will not be refunded to them in accordance with their laws.

I'll bet they keep on taking the taxes out of the paychecks though!

THIS is whycalifornianspaytaxes.

Free Beer

The amount of money spent on beer every year in the United States is roughly the same as the annual cost of the occupation of Iraq. So they could just give everyone free beer instead. (metro)

This COULD BE whyipaytaxes...

Do as I say, not as I do

This one is already older than the hills, but I'm sure a lot of people missed it the first time...

With great fanfare, pomp, and, of course, circumstance, Obama has created a new rule to prevent lobbyists from working with the government and vice versa. This process had gotten quite out of hand with the last administration in cases where fine, upstanding government employees would give out contracts to a business, then leave the government and join the business with all the lucrative contracts. Or, a former board member of a company would then step into a government role that gives out contracts to the company they recently worked for. You can see how it would get messy.

Good rule, right? Then why is the new administration already making exceptions to the rule?

Open and honest government. You know, starting right now...

THIS is whyipaytaxes...

The Church of GM

It must have been when we all deposited some of our tax money into the plate GM had set up by the door that GM thought to start modeling itself after a church.

After all, I can't think of anyone else that gets to operate in this country tax-free.

GM lobbies Congress to avoid tax(dn)

I'm also particularly excited that GM is using their bailout to lobby congress for more bailout. Trust me, lobbying don't come cheap. I wonder how many hummers they have to sell to foot the bill? (Of course, if they can't sell anymore hummers, we'll cover it!)

The amount in taxes GM hopes to avoid: $7 BILLION...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.