Laws of Physics

Above the laws of the land? You betcha.
Above the laws of physics? Nope!

The flashing lights are on to let you know this is an emergency.

PS -

Shown:

The officer, doing nothing, on the clock.

A portion of the crew working to get the car out, whether government employees or contractors.

Damage to completed work in a road construction project.

Not Shown:

Re-demolishing this concrete area.

Re-completing the work in this road construction project.

PPS - I'd be willing to bet the police cruiser in the picture was still idling.

Don't ask. Period.

Studying, debating, legislating, enforcing, re-debating, more studies, more legislating, now enforcing who exactly it is we are comfortable putting in harm's way to ensure my quality of life.

Sure he can spot the extremist in a crowd of muslims from 100 yards, but did you hear where he sticks his dick at night? Has anyone told Congress about this guy? I certainly don't want him taking a bullet for me!

Even a step in the right direction costs our money.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

A Bailout I Can Get Behind

Bush tax cuts remain in effect. $859 BILLION is the cost.

In this case:
cost = not taking $859 BILLION from us

read more: US tax cuts: Obama signs compromise deal into law(npr)

Getting to know one another

In a city slashing firemen, policemen, librarians, and more, Rockford, Illinois has a school district superintendent spending the city budget the smart way: $18,000 on a weekend conference for 14 school board members and staffers in a city less than 2 hours away from the district.

Must have been one hell of a conference, right? Probably learned about how to deliver excellent education in times of tightening budgets. Some sort of revolutionary way to run a school district that saves money while producing the best and the brightest, I'd imagine.

In the words of the School Board President, David 'Its all about the kids' Kelley:
"I attended a day-long seminar on what's referred to as the Meyer-Briggs type indicator," he says. "And the purpose of that was to help board members better understand each other."

Wait a minute. It took $18,000 for a conference this guy sums up as a chapter in both my Organizational Behavior and Intro to Psych college class books? Shit. I would have donated my old books if I had known they needed them.

Of the $18,000, $8,000 went to rooms. Seem reasonable for Chicago until you do a Hotwire search to discover that there is a wonderful Days Inn in Des Plaines that routinely goes for $32 per night. Now, I don't ask that the Board stays in the same accommodations I do when I visit Chicago on business a few times a year, but I think that $300 per night per person seems a bit steep for supposed public servants.

Of the $18,000, $2,000 went to ONE meal. I'm not sure when the federal per diem rates jumped above the $35 per day I'm used to, but I'm pretty sure it has not yet reached $142 PER MEAL per person.
(By one account(pdf - page 2), LaVonne 'One More - For The Kids' Sheffield (Superintendent) had to be practically carried away from the dinner table having consumed too much alcohol to depart without assistance.
Perhaps getting 14 people shitty drunk in a swank downtown Chicago hotel restaurant is what ran up the bill so high...)

Of the $18,000, $1,000 has been requested to be paid back for unapproved expenses such as spouses' dinners, in-room movies, and other charges in an e-mail sent out as soon as WREX sued under the Freedom of Information Act. No FOIA, and we would have enjoyed another grand flushed down the tubes for pay-per-view pleasures.

One last fun tidbit is the fact that when asked by the reporter that did all the leg work on this, none of the board members, including David and LaVonne were able to tell him exactly how much this weekend cost the taxpayers. They didn't really know and apparently didn't really care.

As urged by the reporter at the end of his story, I also feel it would be reasonable to call LaVonne at (815) 966-3101 and let her know what you think about this wonderful use of taxpayer dollars.

School board members getting to better understand each other at $1,285 a head...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: You Paid For It: D205's Chicago getaway(WREX)
Friend, recommend, and tweet this reporter for doing his job: Bob Schaper

Do read Dr. Patrick Hardy's account of the $2,000 dinner and the weekend overall. He was incensed that most of the 14 skipped the conference to go shopping and he refused to take part in the lavish dinners. Sounds like the day long class Mr. Kelley attended was probably the only one he attended all weekend. Suddenly his vague summary of the weekend seems about right...
The story from WREX: UPDATE: District 205 releases letter from Dr. Patrick Hardy
Dr. Hardy's letter published by WREX: Patrick Hardy's Letter to Dr. Sheffield

Inspection emergency

When the Hampshire, IL Fire Department goes out to inspect buildings for fire code, they go in style.

For one, it takes a team of 4 people to inspect a building. Not a big building, only 4 suites... Most of the inspectors stand around while the one in charge actually takes a look around and hollers out things for the others to write down.

While you might expect them to pile into the fire marshal's sedan for a scheduled appointment to inspect a building, they don't. Instead, they fire up Big Red and leave it idle out front for hours while inspecting. Apparently, their inspection equipment (clip boards) did not fit in the trunk.

Good for the environment AND the city budget.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Idling, for your breathing pleasure

P.S. - I'd like to mention the time, about a month ago when they had this baby stopped at a major intersection, lights flashing. As drivers slow down approaching the intersection, fearing the worst, a young fireman approaches each vehicle with an upside down helmet asking for donations. Not exactly fodder for my blog, but a HFD related story I just had to share...

Commonwealth corruption

A few weeks ago, I published a post about the Commonwealth Games in India. The focus of my post on the hiring of large langur monkeys to control the crowds of smaller monkeys that are pretty much a menace throughout Delhi. After all, the only thing we love more than stories about monkeys are the dang little monkeys themselves... Adorable!

At the introduction of that post, I linked to a slide show of horrors showing the athlete's quarters at the Commonwealth games. Overall, I was trying to make the point that India had not prepared for the games at all, in spite of the tax money that had gone into it.

Well... They found some of the money and arrests are being made. No big surprise, the money was being siphoned by corrupt officials who were handing contracts to friends, not construction companies...

THIS is whyindianspaytaxes.

read more: Two Delhi Commonwealth Games officials arrested(bbc)

Bribes for peace

Turning a blind eye to the fact that there wouldn't even be an Israel without our financial and military support, our illustrious leaders have decided that its time to give them more of our tax dollars.

What other way could we get them to seriously consider resuming peace negotiations for their own good?

There are no details. Us simps don't deserve an explanation.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: US offers Israel incentive plan to save peace talks(bbc)

Another criminal tweet

At least this one didn't end in jail time. In fact, the fine helps to pay for the police and court time involved...

A man has been fined £3,000 for this tweet:
Robin Hood Airport is closed. You've got a week... otherwise I'm blowing the airport sky high!

The statute he violated is 'sending a menacing electronic communication'

Even the officer 'investigating' the 'case' said this was ridiculous.

Show me pictures of people fleeing the RH Airport in a snowstorm, tears freezing to their faces as they huddle in fear of the imminent explosion. Then I'll get behind a fine for this guy...

Until then, the Brits have GOT to stop trying to arrest and try everyone that has access to a keyboard because they don't like what was posted on the Internet.

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.

Read more: Man in Twitter bomb threat against airport loses appeal(bbc)

Cleaning the Crazy right out of the Internet:
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2010/11/more-arrests-over-bad-comments.html
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2010/10/rude-enough-for-imprisonment.html
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2008/10/virtual-crime-real-bars-in-window.html

More arrests over bad comments

Wow... The Brits are going a bit overboard with arresting and trying people who have the audacity to speak their mind on the Internet.

About a week ago, I posted about a jail sentence for a guy who posts horrendous comments on Facebook tribute pages for the recently deceased. Yeah. World class douchebag... But don't go changing the privacy settings of your Facebook tribute pages just yet, 'cause they got him. The Internet is once again a safe place to surf.

The new story is about a guy who tweeted that a writer he disagreed with should be stoned to death.
Unreasonable comment? Yes.
Horrendous comment? Yes.
Ignorant pig? You betcha.

If I were the writer in question, I would make not following his tweets a very high priority on today's to do list.

Did he throw the first stone? No.
Did he actually try to arrange the stoning? No.
Should he be arrested and thrown in jail for typing what he wanted into a service designed to allow anyone to post whatever they want? NO!

That he was a government official ought to lead to him losing his job. That would be reasonable. A forced public apology has been done, the woman in question has not been stoned.
Did he really need to be handcuffed and arrested? Did he really need to be bailed out of prison, or to hire a defense lawyer to stand trial? Because of a 140 characters or less?

... ... Beats having a freedom of speech!

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.

read more: Tory councillor arrested over Twitter stoning post(bbc)

The offending tweet was quite obviously a terrible attempt at being funny on a subject where this guy has no reason getting involved:
Can someone please stone Yasmin Alibhai-Brown to death? I shan't tell Amnesty if you don't. It would be a blessing, really.

Groggle, Drinkle, just get me another beer

Cameron 'Cheap Beer is my Favorite Beer' Collie has a rather wonderful idea for a web site. Simply plug in your location and his service will locate the closest and cheapest beer.

Not a bad service. He thought he'd call it Groggle, as a play on the common Australian term for alcoholic beverage, grog. (No fellow Americans, the Australian word for beer is not Foster's)

"Good lord!" exclaimed Google. "What if confused drunken Australians intending to undertake an Internet search accidentally go to Groggle.com instead of Google.com??!??! Heavens No!"

So they thought they'd put the Australian government's trademark offices to work on this situation by fighting Cameron's attempts to trademark the term Groggle.

After 6 months of battling in court, they finally reached an agreement out of court. While no one is talking details, Cameron tweets that he will be enjoying a bottle of 'Australia's Most Expensive Beer' after the agreement.

Of course, Groggle lost. The new site will be called Drinkle.com. Also a fun name that ought to catch on quite nicely.

THIS is whyAUSSIESpaytaxes.

read more: Google scotches Australian 'Groggle' search(bbc)
drink more: Drinkle.com

Sad clown

Everyone's favorite clown, Uncle Sam, has recently become a sad clown indeed. During a recent break in his specially designed unicycle and a thousand balloons were stolen from him.

Seriously. Is there some sort of a thriving black market where the demand for unicycles is high? What thief has the ability to launder 1,000 balloon animal balloons for profit?

Oh well... I'm sure the Swansea Police Department was bored that day and just looking for a crime to solve.

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.

read more: Clown's unicycle and balloons stolen in Swansea(bbc)

Keeping the 911 operators busy

click the image to read what has been cut off by blogger

Rude enough for imprisonment

Colm 'Decency Free' Coss of Ardwick, Manchester (UK) is a world class loser. He found great joy in opening fake Facebook accounts and defiling tribute pages of the recently deceased. He seems to enjoy telling the traumatized family that he enjoyed having sex with the corpse of their loved ones.

Yeah. A real peach. A real fucking stand-up guy. The kind of guy you wouldn't mind meeting in a dark alley with a bunch of your friends.

So, how to handle this?
Do we stop making Facebook tribute pages? Nope. Couldn't do that. People like having tribute pages.
Perhaps we could set the comments section to be reviewed and approved? Nope. Couldn't do that. People like having tribute pages open to anyone in the world. After all, its a tribute page, no one would disrespect that!

Naw. Screw all that. Lets just throw him in jail!

After all, he was Very Mean in a public forum. And Very Mean people should be in jail!

Its a lot like the girl who recently decided to invite the entire world to her birthday party, then was surprised that a handful of them actually RSVPd to attend.
When will people learn that when you choose to allow the general public into your life online, its not just the fun ones that will show up?

Trial, room, and board because a disturbed man posted tasteless comments in a forum designed to allow anyone to post anything they want...

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.

Read more: Jade Goody website 'troll' from Manchester jailed(bbc)

And you thought WE knew a thing or 2 about Medicare fraud

In a case of finding cures for diseases that don't exist that would make Big Pharma envious, 83 unnecessary operations were carried out in a private clinic in Milan, Italy. And I'm not talking a nip here, a tuck there... Oh no.

I'm talking unnecessary mastectomy on an 18 year old girl, 3 lung surgeries on an 88 year old woman when one would have done the trick, at least one unnecessary lung removal, and so many surgeries that 5 elderly patients died.

In the end, about $3.4 MILLION was charged to the Italian version of Medicare for surgeries that had no medical purpose.

In all, 14 people were arrested. The apparent ringleader, Brega 'Chop Shop' Massone said of his 15.5 year sentence: Its unfair, I was the scapegoat!
Imagine. 15.5 years in exchange for playing a part in forever scarring a young woman, scamming the citizens of Italy for millions of dollars, and killing off several elderly patients. And he thinks the sentence is unfair.

THIS is whyITALIANSpaytaxes.

read more: Italy doctors jailed for 'clinic of horrors' operations(bbc)

Now where'd I put those nukes?

Ok... So we didn't actually lose any nuclear weapons, but apparently our country was left without nuclear defenses for a span of months late in the Clinton Administration.

As it turns out, the Presidential aide that was responsible for the nuclear launch codes 'lost' them. Without these codes, even the President can't set forth a nuclear winter upon our enemies.

Not exactly a set of car keys you're dealing with here dude...

The best part, the watchdog for the codes from the Pentagon was easily sent chasing his own tail. Each time the aide was asked to show the codes, he said that Clinton had them on his person and was in a 'Very Important Meeting' and couldn't be bothered.
Rather than waiting around for the President to show up, the watchdog felt the aide's excuses were good enough for now. (I wonder if Presidents often keep the codes on them. The feeling of potential power must be a bit intoxicating...)

Building and implementing a fool proof system to safeguard a devastating system turns out only to be proof of fools...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: US presidential nuclear codes 'lost for months'(bbc)

Nothing to see here... Move along now

A few tax dollars at work here...

Hand picked

Suddenly, the Russian state-owned media begins attacking the mayor of Moscow for a variety of things like gridlock. A couple weeks later, President Puti... errr... Medvedev fires him. Not long after, Medvedev appoints a close aid to Prime Minister Putin as the new mayor.

Hand picked leadership...

THIS is whyrussianspaytaxes

read more: President Medvedev picks PM Putin's aide to run Moscow(bbc)

Did he just say election?

Taxpayer's receipt

Thanks to the folks at Third Way for throwing this one together. Its a look at what you spent your taxes on if you are a median wage earner in the U.S. in 2009.

Please visit Third Way for details, this is from page 3

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: An itemized list of what your taxes pay for(Marketplace)

Monkey v. Smaller Monkey

In preparation for the Commonwealth Games, the Delhi officials in charge decided not to prepare.
Check out this slide show of the Athlete's Village a week before the athlete's are supposed to move in... Inside the athlete's village

One place they are well prepared for is monkey control. They're going to control the monkey problem by bringing in bigger monkeys. Black-faced langur monkeys to be exact.

Keep him busy while I get his wallet.

For the safety of everyone involved, they will keep these angry monkeys on a rope. The smaller monkeys that overrun dehli won't come near them, thus leaving the tourists alone. Its good to see these langurs finally getting back to work as productive members of society.

Preparation for Commonwealth Games...

THIS is whyindianspaytaxes.

read more: Delhi ropes in monkeys for Commonwealth Games security(bbc)
more fun: Monkeying Around(wipt)

Prostitutes for research

No... Its not the porn industry hiring whores for research. Nope. Its the U.S. Government!

Back in the late 40s, the U.S. government, with approval from the Guatemalan government, hired a bunch of whores with syphilis and brought them into the Guatemalan prison system to infect criminally insane people with syphilis. The test subjects had absolutely no idea they were test subjects.

Fun!

Ostensibly, they wanted to see what could be done to prevent syphilis from spreading. Then, when that didn't work, they wanted to see what could be done to better treat syphilis.

In the end, syphilis wins!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more: US sorry over deliberate sex infections in Guatemala(bbc)

Thats funny, it didn't taste like syphilis...

Congress is done! All problems solved...

Lets put on a show to celebrate!

Seriously though... I am truly stumped.

In an effort to bring attention to a matter that is already quite in the public's awareness, Congresswoman Zoe Lofgren invited and Congressman John Conyers authorized Stehpen Colbert to testify before the immigration subcommittee. The 'testimony' was based on the fact that Stephen supposedly spent a day picking vegetables with immigrants.

1.) You don't need to draw attention to the issue. Maybe you need to draw attention to a potential solution, but they don't have one. That wasn't their intent. Instead, they've highlighted their cluelessness.
2.) You don't use the floor of the Congress of the United States as a stage for comedians. I think Stephen is a comedic genius, and I love his character, but ... ... I mean, come on! The White House Correspondent's Dinner is bad enough, but at least that is an annual event designed for laughter at our government's expense.
3.) Congress ought to stop bringing in cable network stars, baseball stars, and other ridiculous celebrities and focus on the fucking job they are there to do. Yeah, its not an easy job, but thats precisely why we can't have them spending their time booking a goddamn talent show.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more:
Stephen Colbert’s Congress visit called ‘sad commentary’(bh)
Colbert testifies to U.S. Congress(ifp)

Party in Hertfordshire!

Now here's a real bang up use of your tax dollars:
Extra police patrols to make sure people don't show up to a 15 year old girls birthday party.

But wait... How can this possibly be an acceptable use of police time?

When 21,000 of the 15 invited guests RSVPd, they thought they'd plan ahead.

But wait... How can 21,000 people RSVP if she only invited 15?

Because she couldn't just send out invitations. Oh no, that is just not how this generation does it. Instead, they invite everyone via Facebook! But what a lot have come to realize is that just because you want all your friends to know doesn't mean you have to click the 'public event' check box.

Some would blame Facebook's crazy privacy settings, but it is just that simple. If you aren't inviting the general public to your shindig, don't click the public event check box.

THIS is whyHERTFORDSHIREANSpaytaxes.

read more: Girl's horror as 21,000 RSVP Facebook party invite(bbc)

Church sues state

The Pilgrim Baptist Church in Chicago is suing the state of Illinois over the promises of Rod 'Only Innocent People Appear on 'The View'' Blagojevich.
After all, they had a fire. And why should they be responsible for covering their own damages when they can just turn to the state? Is not like there is anything in the constitution guaranteeing the separation of church and state...

Here's a few things that tickles my brain in a bad way:
1.) They were promised $1 MILLION even though the damages totaled $65,015.
2.) The $1 MILLION was still given out, but it was given to a PRIVATE school that was leasing the area of the church that had the fire. (Because private schools benefit everyone, not just the parents that can afford to send their kids there.)
3.) I mean really... The state has to pay to defend itself because a corrupt governor made a promise to a church? Like a governor has any business promising statewide tax funds to a small church in an urban area that is many hours away from most of the residents of the state?

If this works out for them, I think I'll drop my homeowner's insurance and sue the state for damages when it burns down.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Church sues Illinois Department of Commerce and Economic Opportunity(wgn)

I miss mom... But I don't miss her social security!

This has been going on for awhile, and I'm sure its far from over....

Japan has over 40,000 folks that are over 100 years old. Or so their social security rolls would have you believe.

As it turns out, moving back in with your dead parents can turn into a healthy living in Japan.

The first story I saw was when some city council members thought they'd cash in on a local photo op by congratulating Sogen 'I'm Not Dead Yet' Kato for turning 111. But the family resisted saying that the old fellow had locked himself into a room to be a living Buddha. The councilmen were having none of this and had the police force their way in where they found the mummified remains of Sogen, who had been dead for many years.
The family had collected over $109,000 off of Sogen's pension.

Then there were a few more stories. Like the one about the woman who is still collecting her payments at an address that was turned to a park in 1981.

Now they busted a dude that has been carrying around his mom's remains in a backpack. Because he couldn't afford her funeral, he thought he'd keep her around and collect her checks. He describes how he washed the body for awhile then eventually broke her into pieces and loaded her into the backpack.

In all, there are more than 200 folks over the age of 100 that are collecting checks but otherwise cannot be found.

THIS is whyjapanesepaytaxes.

PS - You know we're gonna have a bunch of this ourselves now that the boomers are aging and the kids are moving back home...

read more:
Almost 200 centenarians 'missing' in Japan(bbc)
Tokyo's 'oldest woman' is missing(bbc)
Tokyo's 'oldest man' was a corpse(bbc)

Federal Beareau of Not Investigating

For all the warnings of mis-information at Wikipedia, they sure seem to have their facts together about some legal issues. Well, they at least have a more accurate understanding of copyright laws than the FBI. Not that we'd expect the federal government's premiere law enforcement agency to understand the laws they try to enforce...

Last month, the FBI decided to send Wikipedia a cease and desist order for having a high resolution version of the FBI seal available for download on their site. They quoted a law about the illegality of displaying their seal. Here's the actual law they took a shot at quoting.*
Wikipedia promptly returned a letter, with an ACTUAL quote from the same law the FBI tried using against them. As it turns out, not only is Wikipedia not breaking the law, but they point out that they are more than happy to argue this one out in court. They have this confidence because unlike the FBI, these guys did an investigation and know they are in the right.

No small part of what chaps me on this waste of federal man hours is the fact that their investigation was as thorough as you would expect from an incompetent investigative agency. Unless Wikipedia has some sort of special lack of rights, you have to wonder why the following sites did not receive similar threats of legal action:
Encyclopedia Britannica
New York Metro
and I found at least 2 seals available amongst the documents at fbi.gov (to be fair, none of the seals on their site are high resolution, but any chump with access to photoshop could certainly use this to do as much damage as one might do with the high resolution version...)

Who would you rather have a good understanding of the law of the land - the police or a not-for-profit web site...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.
read more: F.B.I., Challenging Use of Seal, Gets Back a Primer on the Law(nyt)

Can't golf today, gotta pick up my welfare check!

Phillip 'Tiger' Bond decided he had had enough of the rat race we call life and found himself a way out: Collecting disability from the government.

Of course, just because he was *ahem* unable to work for a living doesn't mean he had to stop golfing several times a week. After all, what is the point in not being able to work if you can't enjoy it?

He went so far as to compete in several golf tournaments.

He got £36,000 before investigators were able to film him on the links.

Not only did the British government give him £36k, but they also had to investigate, prosecute, and now house Mr. Bond for the next 7 months... (Which is all cheaper than continuing to pay him disability)

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.

Read more:Disability benefit fraudster filmed playing golf jailed(bbc)

Fleeting explative, prolonged debate

After all the racket from the horrors of much of the free world getting a glimpse of Janet Jackson's nipple, we've come to find out: It was OK because the FCC has been inconsistent and unpredictable in the enforcement of its own rules.

What a good use of our time on this matter so far!

The recent case was delayed several hours before they found the tape of Janet's nipple in Scalia's chambers.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Read More:Court Strikes Down FCC Indecency Policy(npr)
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2009/05/lets-re-examine-that-nipple.html
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2009/04/save-us-from-bono.html
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2008/11/did-i-tell-you-one-about-judge-that.html

Dick's Pump

We had to buy Uncle Dick another pump for his heart.

After all, we would want him to continue to undergo "increasing congestive heart failure."

Yes. It appears his heart fails frequently. So they are slowly rebuilding his heart out of mechanical pieces. We have the technology, we can do this.

On your dime.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

learn more:Cheney Recuperating From Heart Surgery(npr)
he was just in the hospital in february

Nothing to see here... Move along now

A few taxpayer dollars at work here...

How to handle piracy the efficient way

Now THIS is how you handle piracy:

1.) Get your boat hijacked by people who think the best way to get what they want in this world is to take it from others.
2.) Make sure your boat is being run by people that are able to disable the boat and lock themselves into a panic room.
3.) As the pirates drift helplessly on a boat they can't run, you are relieved of 'negotiating' with them, as they actually have no control over you, your people, or your cargo. Simply hop on board and start shooting or arresting.

Here's where most of us get it wrong:
4.) Feed, clothe, and shelter the pirates for months and months to come while waiting to put them to justice.
5.) Put them on trial in your country, or find a local country to do your dirty work for you in exchange for 'aid.'
6.) Incarcerate them for the duration of their sentence. Make sure they get health care, room, board, and maybe even access to an education.

Here's where Russian efficiency takes it to a new level:
4.) Put them on an inflatable raft and drop them off where you picked them up - in the MIDDLE of the ocean. Perhaps raise a glass and chuckle at the silly pirates as they drift off into the moonlight and their almost certain demise.

You don't owe them a ride home. Hell, some would say they're lucky you wasted an inflatable life raft on them.

THIS is howrussianssavetaxes.

read more: Freed Somali pirates 'probably died' - Russian source (bbc)

Live by the Train, Die by the Train

After 17 years at the helm of Chicago's Metra, Executive Director Phil 'All Aboard' Pagano put the employee's pamphlet on dealing with a suicide on the track in his breast pocket and leapt in front of a speeding Metra train.

It seems the investigation was almost over. I think we know the verdict.

As it turns out, Metra STILL doesn't give out employee bonuses. Well, except for the $56k bonus the boss got last year.

Imagine. Ending a perfectly fine and fairly wealthy life over $56,000.

I like picturing a scene from Hollywood, noble yet sad.
A train speeds down the tracks surrounded by Illinois farm fields - a proud yet apparently sad man straightens his suit in the mirror making sure everything is just so.
The train speeds along with more and more buildings whizzing by, the man takes long sad walk to the train station.
A close up of the eyes, the train speeds toward the station...

Chip Bok

Separation of church and... I think we've heard this one before

Just going to cover it briefly by broadly summarizing to suit my needs:
The Supreme Court is hearing a case on whether or not a public university should be forced to provide a bit of financial support to a Christian group that violates university rules by not allowing gay folk into their club.
Yes, this church group is suing because they aren't being given their fair share of government funding.
Thank God there is no separation of church and state.

Antonin 'Nipple Fan' Scalia was most eloquent in his argument:
"Frankly, one reason why I am inclined to think this is pretextual is that it is so weird ... to require this Christian society to allow atheists not just to join, but to conduct Bible classes, right? That's crazy!"
At which point he promptly took another hit off his hookah and mumbled to himself "Just crazy man. Crazy."

Yes. Lets give them public funding so they can fend off the crazy atheists trying to teach their bible classes...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Court Weighs Rights Of Campus Religious Groups(npr)

Overzealous

A 12 year old girl got caught writing on her desk at school with a marker. Her overzealous teacher summarily dragged her to the overzealous principal's office who decided only the police could properly handle such an outrage. When the overzealous officers arrived, they cuffed her and did a perp walk out to the car. She was tried and convicted in a 'Family Court', sentenced to 8 hours of community service and an essay about what she's learned from the ordeal.

Having been chapped from being so spanked, our little graffiti artist got her overzealous father to call some overzealous lawyers to sue both the school district and police department. All the pain and suffering endured by this poor girl must be worth at least $1 MILLION. After all, she was in custody almost the whole day!

The head lawyer in the case Joseph "Opportunity Knocks" Rosenthal, wants to be clear: "We want to stop this from happening to other young children in the future."
Because it has nothing to do with the MILLION bucks...

Overzealous government staffers open the door for overzealous lawyers. And I haven't even mentioned the janitor's time involved in cleaning the desk...

THIS is whynewyorkerspaytaxes.

read more: US girl sues for $1m over arrest for desk scribble(bbc)

Police lineup

I don't have the back story. You really don't need one to see a small mountain of tax dollars at work.

Roadkill revival

Today's Everyday Hero comes from Brookville, Pennsylvania, near Punxsutawney. It was in this area that Donald "Raisin' the Dead" Wolfe tried to save a poor helpless animal deciding mouth to mouth resuscitation was the only way to save a possum that had been roadkill for days. I'm not sure if the mouth to mouth was before or after he held a one man seance to bring the poor rotting critter back to life, but he certainly tried everything he could.

Of course, you can't just leave dumb ass drunks making out with dead animals hang out by a highway and the police had to get involved. Rather than do whatever it is the police do in the Punxsutawney area on an average Thursday night, they spent this one arresting Don, gathering eye witness reports and talking to the media. Thankfully, I'm sure Donnie will also get his day in court. Because, you know, they didn't have anything better to do either...

THIS is whyPENNSYLVANIANSpaytaxes.

Read more: Police: Drunk Pa. man tried to revive dead opossum(ap)

Say you're sorry with cheescake

A visit and apology from the New York Police Commissioner, a cheesecake, and countless man hours harassing an elderly couple are just some of the unexpected costs of an IT glitch.

Rose and Walter Martin were visited by the police 50 times in the last eight years because their address had been randomly entered during the testing phase of a new 'crime tracking' system. Having never correctly purged the information, the police were fed the same bad information each time and blindly followed their orders.

Rather than investing the money in better paid and well-trained officers and investigators, the city has found it much easier to just buy a computer that randomly spits out addresses for them to bust in on. I'll bet they call this system The Judge and it automatically prints out a signed search warrant with each address it provides.

Screaming "Police! Open Up!" at 80 year old folks rather than investigating crime...

THIS is whyNEWYORKERSpaytaxes.

Fruitful use of prisons

Dubai has sentenced two people to 3 months in jail for sexting. They were planning on having an affair, which is illegal there. Had there been evidence of an actual affair, they would have been in jail a lot longer...

I wondered how the morality police got ahold of these text messages. Turns out they were used as evidence in the woman's divorce proceedings.

A nice court case and some room and board for those audacious enough to send lusty text messages...

THIS is whyDUBIANSpaytaxes

read more: Dubai jails Indian pair for 'sexy texts' (bbc)

Alaska v The Environment

You'll remember Bush's bittersweet move to simultaneously point out that even though polar bears are a threatened species because they are losing their natural habitat to global warming there is nothing can be done to save them because no one can sue the mega polluters to deal with the problem. Good times...

Since then, the State of Alaska has been suing to strip the polar bears of their protected status. I'm not sure what their logic is, but apparently having the bears as a protected species is a matter of State interest that deserves a significant amount of its attorneys' attention.

But that is not why I am writing. As it turns out, environmentalists have been more successful at eliminating the special 'no one's fault' rule than Alaska has been at eliminating the threatened species status of the bears. Soon a judge will be making the ruling and it appears that the unique protection against lawsuits will be eliminated and this pisses Alaska off.

So, last month, the State of Alaska approved $1.5 MILLION to develop a campaign to gain broad support from the rest of the country to let the bears perish unchecked.

It must be nice to be the most federally supported state in the Union because it leaves a lot of money lying around to fight the federal government!

THIS is whyALASKANSpaytaxes.

Xe Blackwater

The folks at Blackwater, who changed their name to Xe to help their PR situation after their guards opened fire on a bunch of defenseless Iraqis in 2007, killing 17, are under review again.

Apparently, changing their name to Xe did not teach their guards that they are not above the law. Which is, of course, contrary to their training, so I'm not sure why they would see it any other way.

Now, due to a host of complaints coming out of Afghanistan our senate has to yet again review and deal with Xe.

Worry not, Xe fans, as they are well protected by the Pentagon. A spokesman for the Pentagon decided he knew better than our senators and any investigation they might conduct. He explained that Xe cannot be cut off from receiving our taxpayer dollars because they are one of the few firms willing to work in Afghanistan. Why even bother to look into the complaints? What would you rather have, dead civilians or unemployed bodyguards? I certainly don't think we want these guys in the unemployment lines, people could get hurt!

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Somethings fishy here

And it ain't just Antoine Goetschel's clients.

Seriously. The guy defended a dead Pike in court. And dogs, cats, guinea pigs, cows, horses and sheep. (I don't suspect the sheep was involved in a rape case, but I have no evidence either way...)

No big deal, right? Some hippy lawyer has decided to enjoy his wealth by taking on animal cruelty cases pro bono, right? Sure, he's clogging Switzerland's court system with cases that ought to be handled in other ways, but at least he's not government funded, right?

The hell you say.

Nope. Funded entirely by the government, this guy sued a fisherman because it was reported that the fisherman took 10 minutes to bring the fish in and kill it. To no one's surprise, he had his ass handed to him on this case. However, not only is he wasting a shit ton of a citizens and several government employees time with this nonsense, but he is taking a salary and a pension for this nonsense too. Not to count the allowance he surely has for staffing his office.

And this is all brought up because he thinks that he can't work alone. Oh no. He thinks the Swiss need a fucking mountain of these guys. Sort of a new D.A.s office. Eventually, they'll probably be bringing about involuntary manslaughter charges against everyone who hits a deer with their car. You better hope the deer is resuscitated or you're spending time behind bars.

I'll bet the Swiss even paid for a public defendant for the fisherman.

Just think... A story about overpaid and under worked lawyers milking the system for all its worth that didn't originate in the U.S. Yay!

THIS is whytheSWISSpaytaxes

read more: Swiss ask whether animals need lawyers (bbc)

Peeling back the Band Aid

Get ready to have your stomach turned. But at least yours is full...

You all (30s and older) will remember the 1985 Band Aid and other relief efforts pursued by governments and other organizations around the globe to help alleviate the 1984-85 droughts in Ethiopia that left most Ethiopians malnourished if they weren't one of the 1 MILLION who starved to death. A host of jokes about sandwiches and Ethiopians followed, but many Ethiopians were saved by these individual and government donations.

What you won't remember:
At the direction of the CIA (they deny it, of course) hundreds of MILLIONS of dollars from these efforts were siphoned off into rebel groups who bought weapons to fight the Russian backed Ethiopian government of the time.

Here's some key information that will set your stomach to turning:

In one instance, a member of Christian Aid bought sacks of grain inside of Ethiopia worth $500 MILLION. Underneath the handful of grain sacks that Christian Aid inspected were many more sacks of fine Ethiopian sand. Yum!

The man who swindled Christian Aid into spending all this money on sand, Meles Zenawi, went on to become Ethiopia's prime minister in 1991.

He remains the PM to this very day in spite of having used money intended to help his fellow citizens to kill them with guns instead.

The deputy head of the CIA at the time sought to "impose ever stiffer costs on the Soviet Union for its Third World adventurism." What better way to do this than sell bags of sand to aid groups in order to use the money to buy guns? (I'll bet many of those guns were bought from the U.S.)

The deputy head of the CIA at the time was none other than our very own Secratary of Defense, Robert Gates. He's no Prime Minister of a third world country, but he has certainly been well rewarded for his career choices.

I can't even sum this one up in a quick snide sentence. As an American citizen, I apologize to the world...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Ethiopia famine aid 'spent on weapons'(bbc)

Visit Beautiful Afghanistan!

Seriously... When are people going to learn that war zone does not equal vacation destination?

Between multiple people trying to do one man protests, Journalists thinking they can get the scoop, and the doorknobs hiking in Iraq[n], the State Departments of the world are being run ragged just trying to rescue their citizens from their own actions.

Now there is a Scotsman trying to set up a vacation company (bbc) that will take you mountain climbing in Afghanistan. Don't get me wrong, its in a relatively safe part of Afghanistan, and they sure could use the tourism, but... ...

All I'm saying is that anyone gets abducted on one these vacations, their home government really needs to let them stay hostages. If someone really wants to climb a mountain on their vacation, there are a whole bunch of mountain ranges that are NOT IN A WAR ZONE!

Rescuing mis-guided citizens from their own actions...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

More surgery for Dick!

Ex-Vice President Cheney in hospital with chest pains(bbc)

I'm only going to say one thing:
We've spent more taxpayer dollars on heart surgeries for this guy than some of us will pay in for our entire lives.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Big brother - big poisoner

Its a story from history. You can read it (slate) if you'd like: The Chemist's War

In a sentence:
During prohibition the federal government undertook a campaign to poison and kill citizenry audacious enough to drink thinking they deserved it and send a message to all that drinking is a mistake.

Nice.

THIS is whyourgrandfatherspaytaxes.

A laptop for every child

'Cause I wanna see 'em naked!

A school district in Pennsylvania was forward thinking enough to secure funding for a laptop for every child in school. This gave the children the opportunity to access the school's and other Internet resources 24 hours a day. I suppose there are many who were unhappy to hear about their tax dollars at work in this way but at the end of the day, its all about the kids.

What the school district failed to point out is that they had a tracking device installed into each machine that gave the administration the opportunity to access the web cam and screen shots of the computer at any time, anywhere. Should your daughter forget to shut down her laptop before drying off after a shower, ol' Mr. Weatherbee could be right there snapping still photos for his collection.

The school is bending over backwards to explain that the tracking devices were only installed into the machines in case of theft or 'lost' laptops. They even have the balls to say that this is the only way these tracking devices have ever been used. How is it that certain teachers are able to scold the children for "engaging in improper behavior in [their] home" if they've never had an opportunity to see inside their home?

One of the creepiest parts for me: It seems pretty obvious that the teachers were made aware of this device and even trained on its usage and passwords. Its not that the tracking system was under lock and key waiting for the police to get called in on a stolen laptop. No. These kids are being watched by teachers after hours, in their homes, with no provocation, and no probable cause.

Watching our teenagers. Closely...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more:US school accused of web spying(bbc)

Kinder-gefängnis

Ok... I used an online translation source and have no idea if that title is accurate. My goal was kinder-prison/prison for children.
I was referring to the whole of Germany, or at least Berlin. And, its not that they lock up their children, its that they've turned the kids' entire existence into an exercise in being German.

In a maverick move, Berlin has decided that it is "fundamentally and socially tolerable" for children to shout, squeal, or otherwise express their glee at being a child.

Yes. Each of Germany's 16 states has a noise pollution law on the books. Only church bells, emergency sirens, snow plows and tractors have been considered an exception to these rules. Rules which have led to hundreds of complaints each year about noisy kindergartens and playgrounds as well as closed down day care centers.

Because, you know, anyone living near a pre-school or playground downtown in the fourth largest city in Europe ought to be able to have a little quiet time. And by a little, I mean I better not EVER hear the innocent sounds of a child's laughter nearby or I'm calling the cops.

While removing your child's gag, be sure to keep it close by. You must continue to respect the official quiet time at night and all day Sunday.

Legislating the audible level of its children...

THIS is whyGERMANSpaytaxes.

read more: Noisy children no longer verboten in Berlin(bbc)

Buzz kill

Again, I'll bet a lot of folks have used that post title recently...

The folks at Epic (Electronic Privacy Information Centre) are lobbying the FTC to spank Google over their ridiculous release of Buzz. Though going to the FTC to file paperwork and start investigations will incur a significant cost to our government, I couldn't agree with their points more.
Some people, myself included, signed up for gmail because we wanted to take advantage of a great e-mail service.
Some people, myself included, have not signed up for Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, or other social media networks because we value our privacy and see no need to publicly lay out the details, mundane or otherwise, of our lives. (Some of us, myself included, simply seek to avoid being found by maniacal exes that would show up on our doorsteps the minute our current addresses became public knowledge)

I know that gmail is free and I know that Google can do whatever it likes to the account. I appreciate all they provide to me for no additional cost aside from creepy ads everywhere. But to suddenly take my saved contacts or frequently e-mailed addresses and put them up in a public forum for all to see is a ridiculous and ignorant thing to do.

But is it something the government needs to get involved in? I'm not so sure. If I was so chapped that I just couldn't deal with it anymore, I am more than welcome to delete both my Buzz and Gmail accounts right now.

Even more astounding, here is a quote from the article I read(bbc) with bold italics on a key phrase:
The complaint has also asked the FTC to "require Google to provide notice to and request consent from Gmail users before making material changes to their privacy policy in future, and seek appropriate injunctive and compensatory relief".
Somebody is going to have to explain to me: who deserves to get compensated for this? I wonder if this sets a precedence where those people who just had their wives introduced to their mistresses can sue Google for privacy infringement seeking damages to cover the divorce?

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Tracking our citizens

The government has gone to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 3rd Circuit in Philadelphia to defend its rights to your cell phone's whereabouts. They are stridently defending their right to know where your cell phone has been and where it is right now without a search warrant or any oversight whatsoever.

You know whats worse? I heard this story on Marketplace, got to thinking, and started this post. As I typed out 'The government has' I paused. I wanted to be more specific and tell you what part of the government, what department was spending their money and wasting the courts time exercising their right to your privacy. The thing is, I couldn't easily find out who it was. The story I heard, the story as Fox tells it, the story at Reuters, Press TV, etc. all tell a story about The Government or A Government Petition or The Government Appeals etc. Some mention the DEA or the FBI, but this is only when they talk about who will take advantage of the ruling if it is allowed, not who is making the case.

You mean to tell me the whole damn government needs to know where I am and where I've been?

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Total recall

I'm sure that title has been used a lot lately...

This post is mainly to point out the tiny little add on recall of 8,000 Tacoma Trucks for faulty front drive shafts (bbc). Didn't want it to get missed it having been announced at the end of the week with no one paying attention.

But a big thanks to the media for whipping this thing into a frenzy that will surely score some more taxpayer bucks over at National Highway Traffic Safety Administration so they can get involved in matters like these that have been pretty well handled. Sure, we might like to see Toyota act a bit quicker, but I'd say they've handled it like the pros they are.

And for the most part, this has been a rather risk free recall. We all mourn those who passed, but we also all know the inherent risks in strapping yourself into a box on wheels going around at 65 miles per hour. Its not like Toyota was trying to kill people... If the highly skilled engineers at Toyota didn't see an issue when designing and producing the vehicle, the engineers at NHTSA likely would have also missed it during a total vehicle inspection.

Adding more layers of bureaucratic red tape...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Dead Man Appealing

I got out of work late yesterday and ended up listening to a bit of Fresh Air from NPR. While Terry Gross is an amazing interviewer, I generally find her program frustrating because I'm rarely so interested in the person she's interviewing that I want to hear a half hour or more of it.

Last night was no exception. But they guy she was interviewing got me to thinking about just how much this person costs the government.
As is often the case, I'd like to state: I'm not saying right or wrong here. I'm not trying to argue a point one way or the other. I'm just amazed as to how much one particular individual can run up the costs for state and federal governments.

His name is David Dow and he has devoted his life to appealing the sentence in cases where the defendant has been sentenced to death. He does not seek to exonerate wrongly convicted people, in fact, most of his clients readily admit that they are murderers and rapists. He simply seeks to avoid their execution in exchange for life in prison.

Here is a simple list of some ways this fellow costs you and I some dollars:
1.) The minute the death sentence is handed down, this guy goes through the appeals process. Delaying tactics are his friend and he will exhaust every legal option he has. Forms upon forms and likely a lot of face time with government employees.
2.) When he loses his initial appeal, he goes to the federal court of appeals and does the same thing.
3.) When he loses his federal appeal, he petitions the Supreme Court to hear his case. Luckily, the SC generally doesn't bother with this guy, but someone has to take the time to look his case over to make sure they aren't just blanket rejecting silly cases.
4.) There are other appellate courts and forms to fill out and process, these are just the big 3.
5.) When he wins a case, we suddenly have to pay to house and feed another inmate for many many years in an already overwhelmed prison system at about $100 grand a year (statistics vary).

In summary of why this man spends so much time and money clogging up our court system to save murderers from the same fate no one could save their victims from: "The person that we're executing is simply not the same person who committed the crime that landed that person on death row..."

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Stealing from our citizens

Why do we pay taxes?

To defend our Air Force Reserves recruitment efforts when they steal songs from the American music industry to play during their Super Bowl ads.

Though, I'm not sure what will cost more:
The legal defense and resulting fines for using a White Stripes song without authorization (which will cost more than licensing it the proper way)
-OR-
Running Super Bowl ads.

Seriously. How is it OK that government agencies are vying for the multi-MILLION dollar ad spots during the Super Bowl? I know they have a working budget for recruiting, but this doesn't seem like the best way to spend it to me...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: White Stripes battle US Air Force over Super Bowl ad(bbc)

Thain to destroy CIT next

If you're anything like me, you'll suddenly discover that a thin layer of slime has covered you while reading this story: Former Merrill Lynch boss appointed CIT chief (bbc)

I'm not going to spend much time explaining why John 'How About Some Bonuses!' Thain costs taxpayer dollars. I already have. (twice)

But I will say this: He's gonna fit right in at CIT. These people know a thing or two about making taxpayer money disappear. Literally.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

It should be mentioned that they are paying this man $6 MILLION a year. Some of that pay is in delayed stock but I'm not sure that is an appropriate amount to pay someone whose previous position was at the helm of a company he drove into the ground while lying to the shareholders in order to ensure BILLIONS of dollars in bonuses for him and his cronies.

How dare we legislate without input from Europe

In October of 1998, the Fairness in Music Licensing Act was passed in the U.S. in a way that amended our copyright laws. The FMLA permits, under certain conditions, the playing of radio and television music in public places (bars, shops, restaurants, etc.) without the payment of a royalty fee.

Seems pretty fair to me. Having a television in the waiting room or a game on at the bar is a matter of convenience. I'd have a hard time believing that said television was the draw that brought people through the door. No royalty fees are necessary because no profit is being made from the content being displayed.
A matter of discussion, to be sure, but I'm not sure its a discussion we need to have with the world.
But, Oh No, Not This Time.

5 months after our law was enacted, a handful of, and I quote, 'European Communities' went to the World Trade Organization to complain. Of course, the WTO summarily discovered that a substantial majority of eating and drinking establishments and close to half of retail establishments were covered by the business exemption.
I've yet to see any reason for the Europeans to step into what we do in our establishments, but to this, they cry foul. This apparently violates an agreement we signed long before.

Seeing that the 'European Communities' were on to something and that the WTO was about to start shitting U.S. tax dollars, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Japan, and Switzerland jumped on board to complain of this as 'third parties.'

Of course, the WTO found us at fault. Demanded we change our laws and fined us a great deal of money. Money of which we are paying to this day.

I've already gone far enough, if not too far in this relatively uninteresting bit of bureaucratic red tape. But I'll summarize:
Because we adjusted our copyright law to allow businesses run a television in their establishment, we are attacked, sued, fined and ordered to pay restitution to a random smattering of countries from around the world. (Explain to me how our law affected Japan and why they have a right to damages from us because I watched a game at the bar last week)

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: DISPUTE SETTLEMENT: DISPUTE DS160 (WTO)
(Thanks to a Slate story for the link)

Modern day castle

This story is really quite sad...


A judge in Britain can't stand the fact that a farmer built this house in spite of having been told it would violate zoning ordinances. So, the farmer went and found himself a loophole which allows anyone to keep a building that violates such ordinances if the building had been in place for at least 4 years. Our friendly farmer simply stacked up walls of hay bails to conceal his progress in building his castle with nary a complaint. 4 years after he and his family moved in, he pulled down the hay bails and likely gave himself a content pat on the back for finding a way to complete his life's dream home.

Well, this just broils the judge. How dare the citizenry do as they see fit while taking advantage of loopholes written into the law? Now, the judge is demanding that this man tear down his castle. The logic: The hay bails was a part of the structure that stood for the 4 years. When he pulled down the hay bails from around his home, the judge rules that he substantially changed the structure thereby opening himself back up to the local zoning ordinances.

A beautiful home that would likely stand for centuries. Gone over a silly ordinance. No complaints, just an ordinance.

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.

Trading down

I was afraid of this. I've been complaining of the dolts who accidentally hiked into iran a few months ago. The fact that our State Department has to spend the time, money and political capital to get these assholes back blows my mind. There's a reason I've never accidentally hiked into Iran: Because I know better than to put myself in a position where that might happen.

Now, in addition to being a strain on State, there is a very likely chance that there will be a prisoner swap to get these people back. Iran'll get important comrades-in-arms, we'll get three douchebags who will end up writing books about the ordeal, having launched themselves into the spotlight.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

One small step for

The California State Historical Resources Commission is claiming the various items left on the moon by the Apollo 11 crew as a Californian historical resource. Their ownership claim is based on the fact that Californian firms were involved in the Apollo mission.

They think that by stating this claim, they'll be able to preserve the site as other countries plan to visit the moon themselves. I'd like to see them enforce that one!

THIS is whycalifornianspaytaxes.

Sadly enough, California isn't the only state with departments spending time on this.

Rooftop Parking

Sometimes the amount of money we waste on law enforcement isn't at all an example of poorly trained government employees. Sometimes befuddled 71 year old men aren't happy with just a speeding ticket and decide to check out the rooftop parking...

That one'll set Buffalo Grove, IL taxpayers back a couple hundred bucks.
(I especially like how he tries to warn people of his maneuver with his turn signal)

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

North Korean Tourism

Why is it American citizens insist on illegally entering countries who would sooner arrest and torture us while using us as both propaganda and bargaining chips?

An even better question: Why is it our government takes the time and makes the effort to 'rescue' these morons?

Take the guy who crossed a frozen river from China into North Korea on Christmas day to 'protest against repression.' What did he think was going to happen? A personal visit from Kim Jong Il who will listen to what this guy has to say and do a complete about-face on his and his fathers life's work? Didn't he realize that a one person protest isn't so much a protest as much as a loudmouthed moron aching to disappear?

Not only is our State Department forced to deal with him, but another guy got busted yesterday. This is on top of the pair of journalists we sent Bill Clinton to get. And the 3 morons who hiked into Iran.

Saving people going to places they should be going to...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Tell me more about the TARP

Thank heavens... Our government has finally decided that it might be in their interest to look into why just a few of our officials were able to funnel $180 BILLION of taxpayer money into AIG. Apparently some documents have come to light that were not submitted to the TARP Auditor.

AIG needed this money because they decided early on to pay the face value on their policies long after it was discovered that the face values were fictitious numbers made up by people who were content to drive their employers out of business in exchange for bonuses.

AIG paid much of this money to the folks at Goldman Sachs.

Goldman Sachs is the former employer of the few officials who funneled the $180 BILLION into AIG.

While I may be a bit taken aback by the fact that out of an entire country full of people, the only place we can find employees for the Fed and Treasury is Goldman, I'm not implying any dirty goings on. I don't know what happened and I don't know what decisions were made under duress, what decisions were about as wise as could be expected considering what they knew at the time and the tremendous pressures they faced.

I am a bit curious to know why those few officials did not provide all the information they had to the TARP auditor, why some documents are just coming to light now. Perhaps these documents were overlooked.

What I AM saying: Its a heck of a coincidence and it doesn't hurt to take a look at what really happened in the heat of the moment.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Haggling on Haggis

The U.S. government enacted a ban on haggis ingredients from Scotland 21 years ago at the height of the Mad Cow outbreak in Britain.

Since that time, our presidents have been briefed on the 'Haggis Situation', our department of agriculture has to dispel rumors, and we've just spent a lot of time and effort in considering the haggis ban.

Even if we get past the Mad Cow prohibition, we have an even older law on the books. This one goes back to 1971 and bans the import of food made with sheeps lungs.

As per usual: I don't technically disagree with my government. I would hope they ban meat imports from places that have a reasonable chance of shipping us tainted meat (or so I'm told). I have no urge to try a good haggis (they lost me at liver and didn't exactly whet my appetite with the lung).

But do we really need to legislate, maintain, and consider a freaking haggis ban? Braveheart would be pissed. (You can take our lives, but you'll never take our HAGGIS!!!)

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

All the love with none of the guilt and blame

While a bunch of the aid going to Haiti is already being funded by taxpayer's around the world, I found it interesting to see a 'new' 'charity' come available from the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason & Science for this one at Non-Believers Giving Aid.

Its an interesting option for those of us who don't feel its necessary to bring god into every aspect of daily life and don't feel it necessary to provide guilt along with their helping hand.
(Pat Robertson claims this earthquake was caused by a large voodoo ceremony held by rebellious slaves on Aug. 14, 1791. Took 'im 219 years to make up for it, but Pat's God showed them whats what when it comes to voodoo...)

I'll also take a moment to reflect upon the fact that for all the horrible and/or pointless things we spend our taxes on, it all seems almost worth it to have an organization like our government where we can rapidly respond to those in need. Yes, from time to time, I'm proud to be a taxpayer.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Department of Photoshop

Guess who this is.

Go ahead, guess...

Did anyone guess a figment of the US State Departments imagination? If so, you're absolutely right! * SEE COMMENTS FOR AN UPDATE*

Yes... State was feeling lonely and hadn't received any pictures or videos from their pen pal Bin Laden in quite some time so they decided to imagine what he might look like today.

Hey... Its easier than actually looking for the guy.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

And just how lost is our government in the *ahem* 'hunt' for Bin Laden if they resort to this as a way to flush him out? Apparently, by the image, they wonder if he's been hiding in plain site, far away from the caves of Afghanistan.

Upgradin'

Another story I missed from long ago. As it turns out, they've extended the $8,500 a pop we've all been spending on a few of us who can buy houses.

But wait, its even better this time... We're also giving $6,500 to existing home buyers so long as they've lived in their current home for 5 of the last 8 years.

Yes. Not only are we using the general fund to help people become homeowners, but now we are also using it to help people who have become bored with their current homes.

Houses for those more fortunate than I...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

I'm not afraid to turn this bus around

Are you sure the bus driver has remained designated?

That one will set Phoenix taxpayers back a couple bucks...

Slow erosion

Here are a few examples of the 40,697 laws that came into effect 1/1/10 around the country which represent the slow erosion of individual personal freedoms. Not only do these laws tell individuals and businesses how to conduct their speech and their actions, they also took a great deal of bureaucratic debating and administrative effort to enact them at a significant cost to us all.

North Carolina and Wisconsin are among a handful of states who have decided to tell bar owners, restaurateurs, and other places of business who would have otherwise chosen to allow their patrons the freedom to smoke while visiting their establishment. (Wisconsins law won't go into effect until later in 2010...)

Oregon and Illinois are among a handful of states that are telling you what you can and cannot do while driving a car. A great law? Yes. Slow erosion of personal freedoms? Yes. An added burden of enforcement and public notification? Yup.

California is limiting the ingredients restaurateurs can feed their customers. (Trans fat ban)

New Hampshire and a few others had to take the time to point out that anyone can get married no matter what my god thinks about the groom and groom.

Texas, Michigan and a few others are demanding that cigarettes sold in their state are manufactured a particular way. (Fire safe...)

Arkansas retailers can't sell realistic looking toy guns.

Massachusetts has banned dog racing.

In Ireland blasphemy has been made illegal with fines up to $35,000. Yes. Insulting my god now costs you money. Its nice to see Atheist Ireland trying to make a stand though. READ MORE (BBC)

THIS is whyweallpaytaxes.