Separation of church and... I think we've heard this one before

Just going to cover it briefly by broadly summarizing to suit my needs:
The Supreme Court is hearing a case on whether or not a public university should be forced to provide a bit of financial support to a Christian group that violates university rules by not allowing gay folk into their club.
Yes, this church group is suing because they aren't being given their fair share of government funding.
Thank God there is no separation of church and state.

Antonin 'Nipple Fan' Scalia was most eloquent in his argument:
"Frankly, one reason why I am inclined to think this is pretextual is that it is so weird ... to require this Christian society to allow atheists not just to join, but to conduct Bible classes, right? That's crazy!"
At which point he promptly took another hit off his hookah and mumbled to himself "Just crazy man. Crazy."

Yes. Lets give them public funding so they can fend off the crazy atheists trying to teach their bible classes...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Court Weighs Rights Of Campus Religious Groups(npr)

Lets re-examine that nipple

Lets all pitch in and get Scalia a night with a hooker that looks just like Janet Jackson. It'll be cheaper than today's announcement that the Supreme Court wants to re-examine Janet's nipple. Uh, I mean, of course, they wish to re-examine the wardrobe malfunction.

Maybe if someone just pointed out to the fine justices that they can still download the scene and watch it to their hearts content?

Re-Visiting a second-long glimpse at Janet Jackson's nipple from FIVE years ago...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Read more: Jackson flash to be re-examined(bbc)
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2009/04/save-us-from-bono.html
http://whyipaytaxes.blogspot.com/2008/11/did-i-tell-you-one-about-judge-that.html

Save us from Bono

The FCC, The Supreme Court, and a few Inferior Courts have all banded together to save us from the evil which goes by the name of Bono. Thank heavens!

Yes, back in 2003, Bono had the audacity to be really fucking excited to receive a Golden Globe award and he let the world know about it when he got on stage. Immediately, a variety of conservative value people decided that since they were unable to not watch the GG awards show, the network airing the show should be penalized. So they started writing letters to anyone who might read them. The FCC took the time to read these letters and decided to write up a brand spanking new rule about 'fleeting expletives'. They were sure to keep it vague and unwieldy in order to be able to apply it to any situation, such as the FCC falling behind on its mortgage and needing a little extra nut this month.
Fox wondered, via the court system, whether or not their freedom of speech really existed. The court decided that it wondered the same thing. Eventually, it got to the Supreme Court, who today decided that yes, indeed there is no freedom of speech when said speech begins with an f and ends in a k. (Is ANYone surprised that Scalia spoke on behalf of the majority opinion? The same judge who, while on the bench, said that dirty jokes are cool as long as they are really good.)

Luckily for Sony, no one fined the television manufacturers for having the cojones to allow such dirty words spoken via their technology.

Now, I'll agree that the world should probably be protected from Bono... But I certainly don't think this was what I had in mind.

Using the Supreme Court to protect my virgin ears...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: US TV swearing policy 'correct'(bbc)

Did I tell you the one about the judge that walked into a brothel?

Ok... This one is a bit of a stretch, but... ...
I'd like to take a moment to complain about the fact that I pay Justice Antonin "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!" Scalia a salary. (Anthony? Antonio?) Now there are a great many reasons I might complain of this and this one is far from the worst of them. Hell, this is one of the few times I agree with him...

Scalia, during a hearing considering whether or not 'fleeting expletives' are OK on radio and TV, has made a wise and definitive decision that will forever be hailed as fair and objective for generations to come when he says:
"Bawdy jokes are OK if they're really good."
No can of worms there, just some good solid Justicing.

I won't even go into the cash we dumped on a hearing full of judges and lawyers from the FCC and the Justice Department getting together to argue with each other about whether or not the American people can handle hearing an occasional 7 Deadly: shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker and tits. (Thanks for embedding those into my head George, R.I.P.) They were also sure to take a few minutes discussing Janet Jackson's nipple. I'll bet a couple of Beavis and Butthead style giggles could be heard immediately following the word nipple.

Unrelated other than by this segue: Another salary I'm proud to have paid is that of Mark "Turn the Page" Foley has announced that he is "Trying to find [his] way back." Thank god... We have a whole new batch of pages that haven't been sexually harrassed by Congress yet.

Paying the salaries of morons...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.