If we can prevent the government from wasting the labor of the people
under the pretense of caring for them, they will be happy. - Thomas Jefferson


Friday, August 7, 2009

My cash, for your clunker

The Senate has approved another $2 BILLION for the CARS program. (read more)

Much like all the other schemes giving away the tax money we all pay to only a select few who qualify, this is getting ridiculous. Lucky are the douchebags who both purchased a shitty gas guzzling vehicle more than a year ago AND can afford to buy a new car now...
I, for one, could afford a new car now, especially with $4,500 of your money, but the piece of junk sable in my driveway, a true clunker, is rated at 19 miles per gallon, so I don't qualify.

For those of you who think we're saving the environment:
1.) In certain circumstances, businesses are getting the credit with as little as a 1 mile per gallon improvement in fuel economy over the traded in vehicle. (read more)
2.) I for one can't wait to find out that the entrepreneurial spirit amongst the car dealerships and scrap yards is alive and well in the U.S. as it is in Germany. They've been running their own Cash for Clunkers program for most of this year. This week, their law enforcement shut down their program after finding containers of 'clunkers' ready to ship to Africa to be re-sold. Rather than getting these clunkers off the road, we're simply putting them on other roads, and allowing the dealerships and scrap yards to double dip the profits. (read more)

For those of you who think we're saving our economy:
1.) Now that dealerships are moving their old inventory under this program, the price of vehicles is going up again, making it harder for most folks that can buy a car to get a great deal.
2.) I don't have facts and figures, but I heard a story on NPR that in Germany, Toyota has outsold all other vehicles in their cash for clunkers program. The statistics in the U.S. aren't yet available, but I'm sure its not all American made cars being sold.

Taking from many, giving to few...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Stairway to...a waste of time

Search teams have been searching the Pecatonica River for human remains since they found a foot on the banks last week.

A breakthrough today when they picked up what they thought was more human remains on a sonar search.

After the divers went in, they found a set of stair-steps. They want us to believe it looked like a rib cage. Must have been a pretty small set of stairs...

Crack sonar teams...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Dive Teams Search Pecatonica River(msl.com)

Gettin' our money's worth

Ok... Often times our Ex-Presidents are handy to have around. But its about time we used one to take some pressure off of the State Department... (after all, they are too busy looking to free retarded tourists)

We sent ol' Slick Willy over to North Korea to negotiate the release of 2 American Journalist Hostages. They had recently been given lengthy jail sentences. Hours after Bill met with Kim, the journalists were pardoned.

I can't wait to see if something comes of their discussions about the nukes.
(I couldn't help but make the joke to my boss earlier: He was probably over there for some North Korean Strange when he figured he'd swing by Kim Jong-Il's place for some post-coital negotiations...)

Bill Clinton's ex-president salary...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: North Korea pardons US reporters(bbc)

Children in cars

No shortage of keeping the taxpayer funded traffic cops of the world busy...

In Australia, one driver had his priorities straight. When pulled over, the constable discovered that while he and his passengers had taken the time to use the meatbelt to strap in a 30 pack of beer, they were allowing a 5 year old child sit bitch on the floor in the back seat. (meatbelt=seatbelt, sittin' bitch=sitting in the middle, in this case, on the hump in the floor)
The driver couldn't fathom why he was getting a ticket for a child not wearing a meatbelt.
Aussie straps in beer, not child(bbc)

In Canada, a rather brilliant man had his 7 year old son take a drive on a rainy day. What makes this fellow particularly brilliant is the fact that he filmed it, then posted the video on YouTube. I'll bet his wife was pissed, right? Nope, she was in the back seat.
He could be heard egging the child on at 25mph and was beaming with pride when the kid got up to 45mph.
Did I mention that it was raining? Good day to start teaching your kid how to drive!
Canada probes child driver video(bbc)

Proof that traffic cops are well worth the money...

THIS is whywepaytaxes.

The ham did it!

As the DNA evidence clearly shows, Your Honor, she was assaulted by the ham and swiss on rye.

Amongst other systemic failures, the Cambridgeshire Police Department was found to often store DNA evidence in freezers next to uncovered foodstuffs.

Not to worry. Deputy Chief Constable John 'You Gonna Eat That?' Feavyour personally looked into it and all of the DNA samples that were stored in these conditions were redundant and never affected the outcome of any trials.

Apparently, they were hoping to taint their lunches, not the DNA samples...

THIS is whybritspaytaxes.

read more: Police kept DNA samples with food(bbc)

Monday, August 3, 2009

Fine

Bank of America gets $25 BILLION from taxpayers to facilitate the purchase of Merrill Lynch.

In spite of promising its shareholder it wouldn't, BOA summarily gave $3.6 BILLION of it to the management team at Merrill, apparently for the real bang up job they did driving it out of business.

Now, rather than letting the investigation of this douchebaggery unfold, BOA is settling with the government for $33 MILLION.

Not bad. $33 MILLION to cover up a $3.6 BILLION dollar scam. Not bad at all.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Bonus fine for Bank of America(bbc)

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Someone is at fault for my unemployment... SUE!

A crazy lady in the Bronx is suing the college she graduated from in APRIL because she's still unemployed 3 months later. Because, after 90 days the college hasn't hooked her up with a kush IT gig in a down economy, they apparently owe her $70,000.

Are we to assume that when she does get an IT job at some point in the future she will have to give the award back? I'd also like to see the signed contract where they guaranteed employment upon graduation...

Always somebody to sue for all that ails you...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Jobless graduate sues her college(bbc)

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Behold, the power of prayer

Rather than putting medical science before their religious beliefs, Dale and Leilani Neumann of Wisconsin decided that only their god could treat their daughter's diabetes. You'd expect they would have at least asked their preacher who might have suggested that doctors are also a gift from their god. But no. Instead, they got some fellow crazies (no offense to any non-religious crazies out there) to have a prayer circle and sat around watching as the daughter died.

Wilford 'Diabeetus' Brimely would be pissed.

I'm pissed because of the many months of jury trial involved, forthcoming appeals, and the free room and board al a the 25 year reckless homicide conviction.

At least they won't be able to make anymore children, then make said children suffer an extremely painful death instead of beleiving in the power of insulin.

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Praying man let his daughter die(bbc)

Keeping the State Department busy

As if they don't have enough to worry about in the world today, the State Department, US Embassy in Iraq, and I'm sure a bit of the military now has to deal with 3 of America's dumbest tourists who wandered into Iran and got themselves arrested.

I mean, come on... There are mountains all over the world, including a handful right here in the U.S. They just HAD to go hiking on the Iranian border? WTF???

As far as I'm concerned, call off the helicopter searches and the state department's efforts to 'determine the facts in this case' and let them go. With any luck, they'll be jailed for the rest of their lives for being infidels.

One of my favorite parts:
the Iraqi border guards saw three Americans with big backpacks crossing the border, but they did not stop them because they thought Americans were allowed to go anywhere.
Yeah. Right. I'm sure the thinking wasn't so much as 'we thought they were allowed to go anywhere' as much as it was 'HA! Look at those dumb Americans with their big backpacks going to Iran.'

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: US nationals 'being held by Iran'(bbc)

I'm gonna sue [myself]

At least when Well Fargo sues itself, it has the common decency of hiring two different law firms to prosecute and defend itself.

This is not the case when the Kauai County Government in Hawaii decides to sue itself! Instead, they spend $250,000 dollars and have the county attorney represent both sides of the case against itself.

Here's the deal:
The local residents are being taxed out of their homes. Its not a matter of not keeping up with the mortgage, its a matter of property values being driven so high by out of state speculators that the residents can no longer afford the taxes on their long owned but newly valued homes. Which is fine by the county government, because that means they can pull in tax money from the out of towners and run record budgets as high as $123 MILLION! I mean, what county doesn't need to spend that kind of money on day to day operations?

So the residents, silly as it sounds, decided to pretend like they lived in a democracy. They got a measure on the ballot that caps the property taxes on any home that is owner-occupied. In spite of heavy lobbying by the county government and using the tax gains in a coordinated attack on the ballot measure, it passed by a 2 to 1 margin.

Rather than accepting defeat and trying to get by on tax revenues most counties only dream of, they decided their best course of action was to sue itself. This way, they could get the court to declare that the people of the county had no right to propose and vote on the ballot measure. The Hawaii Supreme Court agreed, saying that only the county government has a right to police itself, not the citizens.

Sometimes the articles I summarize do it better themselves:
Now, under Hawaii law, when government officials do not agree with the outcome of an election, they are free to concoct a friendly lawsuit, fund the litigation with taxpayer money, and ask a local court to strike the measure down.

THIS is whyhawaiianspaytaxes.

read more: HAWAII GOVERNMENT SUES ITSELF TO QUASH PROPERTY TAX RELIEF - AND WINS (flashreport.org)