Cleanin up the streets

Your tax dollars at work Rockford!
Open wide, I think I see a little build up behind a molar.

The statue was built from donations, not taxpayer dollars. I would also assume the paint used by the vandal was not paid with taxpayer dollars, but that is far from guaranteed...

For the rest of the story, we see plenty of taxpayer dollars going to work.

1.) The statue, while commissioned from donations was placed, insured and is maintained by the parks department. (Yes, there is at least one rider in the city's insurance policy for this statue)
2.) The renaming of the park it stands in as further homage to the individual immortalized was taken care of by the parks department. (The individual immortalized is so honored for arranging fireworks displays and hanging christmas lights...)
3.) The city has a graffiti removal 'experts' team. This team is unable to fix this and had to call in an outside expert/vendor to analyze. This outside expert/vendor will also probably be the one to eventually clean it.
4.) The initial team of experts apparently wasn't called in until AFTER someone at the city was called in with a steamed water pressure washer. (shown above) Only then did they determine that the paint is automotive paint and ain't coming off without chemicals and sand blasters.
5.) The reason the government jumped into action prior to knowing what action was required is because there is a wedding this weekend in a nearby park. *gasp* We can't ruin the bride's special day booked in a public area by exposing her to what happens in public places!
6.) The tarp that will adorn this statue for the weekend also belongs to the parks department. At least it is a multi-use tarp and hopefully was not purchased just for this special occasion.

Nothing to see here, our city is pristine. Move along now.

7.) The police have been called in and are investigating. I imagine they have all their best men on the case.
8.) And a live report coming from a city employee downtown Rockford today reports seeing "the mayor, police chief, and about five cops surrounding the statue earlier today."

Vandalism riles up a city government real good...

THIS is whyrockfordianspaytaxes.
read more:Cleanup of Joe Marino statue in downtown Rockford is complicated(rrs)

Hops is food, no?

Now here is some top notch legislatin'

Russia now considers beer to be an alcoholic beverage.

Until now, it has been considered food.

Man... Those Russians... Always telling their citizens how to live their lives...

THIS is whyrussianspaytaxes.
read more: Russia classifies beer as alcoholic(bbc)

Alligators in Missouri

Another example of a wonderful bit of police work.

The Independence, Missouri police department got a call reporting a 'gator sighting near a tree by a pond. Being sure to do their due diligence, the police called the local conservation officer to determine how best to dispatch the foul beast before it starts eating children. With solid advice from the conservation officer, they knew upon arrival on the scene that shooting this monster in the head is the only way to save the townsfolk from their certain demise.

Since the due dilligence part of the case was behind them, three officers (in case the first two were overcome by the angry reptile) got to the scene, pulled out their rifles and just started shooting.

You and I might wonder why this alligator hadn't moved since the report was phoned in, some calls were made, and the police reported to the scene. You and I might have looked down the scope of the rifle to see that this stoic troglodyte isn't moving even a bit. You and I might have even wondered why this particular lizard wasn't green like the ones we've seen on Animal Planet.

But it wasn't until the second bullet bounced off the evil creature's head before they realized this concrete lawn ornament was not a threat to anyone but their imaginations. As it turns out, the property owner bought the statue to keep kids off his property. I bet it worked on the kids.

Too bad it didn't work on the cops...

THIS is whyMISSOURIANSpaytaxes.
read more:Independence Police Shoot Alligator Lawn Ornament(kmbc)

Morbid Security

You'll remember my post (yeah, right) about a trend in Japan of folks keeping the corpses of their parents around so they can forge and cash their social security checks. At the bottom of my post I mentioned that it won't be too long before this becomes a trend in the U.S. Well... The trend is certainly moving westward.

Hazel 'Don't forget the Glade' Maddock and her daughter Jasmine 'Just put a blanket over her' Maddock lived with Jasmine's grandmother Olive. When Olive passed away, they simply locked the bedroom door and Hazel told Jasmine that "the death should not be reported until the pension was secured."

After 6 months of not seeing a favorite neighbor, a local resident reported that something fishy was going on at the Maddock's. When an officer first gained entry to the home he immediately smelled a rancid odor and noticed that the house was infested with mice and swarms of flies. After using a crowbar on Olive's bedroom door, it was discovered that the body had already decomposed to a skeleton while lying on the bed.

Upon arrest, Hazel's response was "I'm no expert I didn't know if she was dead."

Pretty sure it doesn't take a doctor to realize that if you haven't seen a person come out of her room for 6 months and your house is filled with swarms of flies and the smell of decomposing flesh that maybe you ought to knock on the door and ask if everything is alright.

I guess I'm no expert either...

THIS is whyBRITSpaytaxes.
read more:Grandmother corpse: Benefit fraud daughter jailed(bbc)