Greasing their poles

The cops in Philadelphia are applying a thick coat of grease to all light and sign poles, bus shelters and trees in the downtown area. Police Lt. Frank Vanore says the department is "trying to prevent people from getting too crazy and climbing up there."

This is in response to their World Series victory last year, as the police seek to limit the looting and damage caused by the citizen's celebrations.

I guess this *might* bring about a reduction in uninsured dumbasses falling out of trees, hurting themselves, and being given a trip to the emergency room that they cannot afford. However, I can't possibly fathom a way in which buying a thick lubricating jelly and taking the time to smear it over everything, including trees, is supposed to limit looting or protect taxpayers interests in anyway.

I guess adding buckets of grease to the city's waste water system is cheaper than putting a few more cops on duty that night...

THIS is whyphiladelphianspaytaxes.

read more: Greasing poles in case of a Phillies victory (philly.com)

Bath time!

A special shower built for French President Sarkozy ended up giving the European Union taxpayers a bath.

This shower was custom built for the 5'5" world leader and included built-in massage and surround sound radio functions. Before you go and get envious, consider the 276,000 Euros ($407,410) it cost to build it. Suddenly, you don't even want one of your own, do you?...

So, almost a half a million bucks for a bath tub... Not the worst example of tax funds wasted, but certainly up there. Until, that is, you consider the following:
This shower was BUILT FOR A 3 DAY SUMMIT!!!
But wait, there's more:
IT WAS NEVER USED!
It has since been dismantled.

Yes. This custom built shower was built for a guy who lived 10 minutes away. As most of us would, throughout the summit, he simply ran home to grab a quick shower when he needed one.

A couple other items mentioned that were purchased for this Union of the Mediterranean Summit includes a $132,799 carpet and a $442,664 podium. Apparently this podium included a live-in person to provide oral sex for the speaker. After all, you wouldn't want to speak to the Union of the Mediterranean with just any ol' podium...

THIS is whyEUROPEANSpaytaxes.

Read more: Row over Sarkozy's costly shower(bbc)

Clean Air Iowa

Millions of tons of concrete and blacktop poured on the Earths surface for our convenience.
Check.

Millions of tons of CO2 in the atmosphere to bring that concrete, dig a path, and pour it for our convenience.
Check.

Millions of tons of CO2 in the atmosphere from commuters, road trippers, semi trucks, and people bringing their vacation RVs that could house several 3rd world families.
Check.

BUT DON'T YOU DARE SMOKE A FUCKING CIGARETTE IN AN OPEN-AIR REST AREA ON THE SIDE OF THE INTERSTATE IN IOWA! That shit could kill you!

Yes. The State Legislature of Iowa has so little to do, it took the time to write, debate, and pass a law banning cigarette smoking in rest areas along the Interstates. Because, when they rest 100 yards from some of the busiest Interstate traffic in the country, they don't want to inhale air pollution.

Hell, there was probably more pollution emitted into the air when they manufactured, painted, transported and installed several of these signs in every rest area in the state.

But its the second hand smoke thats gonna get you...

THIS is whyIOWANSpaytaxes.

University Pot

Dutch police did some magnificent police work this week when they found 47 thousand cannabis plants worth about $6.3 MILLION. Finding this field was a big day for those in charge and they summarily began destroying this bountiful crop.

Turns out, it wasn't cannabis, it was hemp. And, it was being grown by Wageningen University to test it as a sustainable source for textiles.

Good police work fellahs. Way to investigate before destroying public property.

Using a publicly funded force to destroy publicly funded research...

THIS is whyTHEDUTCHpaytaxes.

My cash, for your clunker

The Senate has approved another $2 BILLION for the CARS program. (read more)

Much like all the other schemes giving away the tax money we all pay to only a select few who qualify, this is getting ridiculous. Lucky are the douchebags who both purchased a shitty gas guzzling vehicle more than a year ago AND can afford to buy a new car now...
I, for one, could afford a new car now, especially with $4,500 of your money, but the piece of junk sable in my driveway, a true clunker, is rated at 19 miles per gallon, so I don't qualify.

For those of you who think we're saving the environment:
1.) In certain circumstances, businesses are getting the credit with as little as a 1 mile per gallon improvement in fuel economy over the traded in vehicle. (read more)
2.) I for one can't wait to find out that the entrepreneurial spirit amongst the car dealerships and scrap yards is alive and well in the U.S. as it is in Germany. They've been running their own Cash for Clunkers program for most of this year. This week, their law enforcement shut down their program after finding containers of 'clunkers' ready to ship to Africa to be re-sold. Rather than getting these clunkers off the road, we're simply putting them on other roads, and allowing the dealerships and scrap yards to double dip the profits. (read more)

For those of you who think we're saving our economy:
1.) Now that dealerships are moving their old inventory under this program, the price of vehicles is going up again, making it harder for most folks that can buy a car to get a great deal.
2.) I don't have facts and figures, but I heard a story on NPR that in Germany, Toyota has outsold all other vehicles in their cash for clunkers program. The statistics in the U.S. aren't yet available, but I'm sure its not all American made cars being sold.

Taking from many, giving to few...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

Stairway to...a waste of time

Search teams have been searching the Pecatonica River for human remains since they found a foot on the banks last week.

A breakthrough today when they picked up what they thought was more human remains on a sonar search.

After the divers went in, they found a set of stair-steps. They want us to believe it looked like a rib cage. Must have been a pretty small set of stairs...

Crack sonar teams...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: Dive Teams Search Pecatonica River(msl.com)

Gettin' our money's worth

Ok... Often times our Ex-Presidents are handy to have around. But its about time we used one to take some pressure off of the State Department... (after all, they are too busy looking to free retarded tourists)

We sent ol' Slick Willy over to North Korea to negotiate the release of 2 American Journalist Hostages. They had recently been given lengthy jail sentences. Hours after Bill met with Kim, the journalists were pardoned.

I can't wait to see if something comes of their discussions about the nukes.
(I couldn't help but make the joke to my boss earlier: He was probably over there for some North Korean Strange when he figured he'd swing by Kim Jong-Il's place for some post-coital negotiations...)

Bill Clinton's ex-president salary...

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: North Korea pardons US reporters(bbc)