Mammalian fecal matter

Much like the EPAs guidelines for tossing bodies over the side of a boat, the FDA has taken the time to create guidelines for how much mammalian fecal matter is acceptable in the processed foods you consume.

Some of the interesting guidelines:
There is a problem when there are 60 or more insect fragments or 1 or more rodent hairs in 100 grams of chocolate.
Further investigation is warranted when 3% or more of your red fish or sea perch fillets examined contain 1 or more parasites accompanied by pus pockets.
Call in the agency when there is more than 1 insect fragment per gram in your noodles or macaroni products.
They call in Mr. Reddenbacher (r.i.p.) himself when 1 or more rodent excreta pellets are found in 1 or more subsamples, 2 or more rodent hairs per pound, or 20 or more gnawed grains per pound and rodent hair is found in 50% or more of the subsamples of popcorn.

Now, this is one of those posts where I am not particularly displeased with the results of the federal guidelines. After all, there is a direct inverse correlation between the amount of insect fragments IN your food and the amount of chemical pesticides ON your food. (The more poison, the fewer insect fragments. The less poison, the more insect fragments.) Not to mention that eating insects is generally healthy. (Not so sure about the rodent excreta pellets...) One last caveat, by the time most of this food reaches your mouth, it taste like a big mac anyway. Ignorance is bliss!
Besides, the line had to be drawn somewhere. Why not pay some scientists to draw that line for us?

THIS is whyipaytaxes.

read more: How Many Insect Parts and Rodent Hairs are Allowed in Your Food? More Than You Think ... and Maybe Than You Want to Know!(6wise)(original props go to NPRs (APMs) Splendid Table for pointing out the story...)